Am I mad? Or at least going that way.

LegacyUser

I'm a male, 28, who has had a lot of adjustment recently. Getting married, moving to a different area, changing jobs.

All my life I've been very selfless. Always put others needs and want well ahead of my own. If there was something I wanted to do, but it conflicted with what someone else wanted to do, I would bury my need for it and do what the other party wanted. Something as simple as not watching the show I wanted to etc. Pretty much everything in my life was based on making others happy.

Today, however, there was something I wanted to do but it went against what my wife wanted to do. She was angry that I was changing the plans to go see her parents, but this was something I really wanted to do.

I had a paradoxial problem. The core of my mind told me to just forget doing what I wanted to do and the other side of my brain told me to do it, as it was something I really wanted to do.

Basically, I sat in the bathroom, saying "It's broken, something's wrong" for 20 minutes. My wife thinks I'm going crazy.

I, finally after an hour, just took a deep breath concentrated and stood up and said everything is ok, that I would do the event and then go in the morning to her parents.

She thinks it's weird how I went from crazy to normal in seconds.

Advice?

Marksie

No you are not mad, or going that way.
What you are doing is internally flexing your muscles and questioning your past behaviour.
In essence you are coming to realise that your continued obliging behaviour is denying yourself the things you want to do.

and that is causing the conflict between the established way you behave, and the way you want to behave...which is not selfish, but being balanced.

You really need to write this down and use that as the basics for talking to your wife. She should be the one to help you find a balance and appreciate that change and growth is part of life...in iother wiords she should support you.
You are in effect beginning to grow.

As for the incident, you went through the process then resolved it to yourself (thiough verbally), then when you made the decision your calmed yourself and found a compromise that worked it seems.
The fact is you and your wife haven't probably experienced this before if what you say about your past behaviour is true.. so she may ahve been a bit shocked

estar

while you had agreed to a plan and should have had a good reason to break a plan it is not good to always acquiesce and be unselfish and give into others

what will happen is you will end up resenting all people and driving them away or feeling anger that you cant explain.

i suggest that either you take up a martial art or some other combat sport to
continue suppressing your real emotions.

or you start speaking your mind.

Pol Pot

Not at all. Pol Pot thinks it's quite common for a lot of people to have this moment of clarity and decide they are not happy with their current situation and decide to change it.
Your wife is probably weirded out by your sudden unwillingness to comply to her wishes. She is probably used to you compromising on stuff and your sudden unwillingness has prob shocked her.