New relationship

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

Just looking for some advice from your wise selves.

I started going out with a new guy at the beginning of October. Now all is going well but because I'm working full time, going to college at night and have also just moved house, things have been a bit hectic and as a result I haven’t had a lot of time to spare to see my new boyfriend. On average, we'd see each other, one or maybe two evenings per week. I'm totally fine with this and although I suspect that boyf would like it to be a little more, he has been totally accommodating.

I was talking to a friend earlier and she suggested that perhaps I wasn’t that into him seeing as I don’t seem to be making much of an effort to see him and she reckons that that’s a telling sign at the beginning of a relationship. This girl would always be the kind to have spend tonns of time with a new guy in the beginning if she really liked him and she said if she was my boyf that she’d feel a bit offended. I feel like a teenager asking for advice as I’m typing this…. I'm late 20's and boyf is early 30's.

I personally am happy to take things slow at the beginning so this suits me but her suggestion I suppose is playing on my mind a bit. Should I be making more of an effort to spend time with him? Is it a bad sign that I'm happy enough to only see him once or twice a week at the moment? My no.1 priority right now is college and I happen to think that that’s a good thing. Does that come across as cold though?

Karen_*

I think you should not mind what your friend says. What works for her is what works for her. Its not like you're sitting watching tv five nights of the week and refusing to see the guy and I think its great that you're not getting carried away and letting your studies slide. But maybe make the effort to see him a bit extra every couple of weeks? The relationship does need some effort too. Its just about getting a happy balance for yourself OP:)

Redpunto

Whatever works for the 2 of you, dont be minding what your friend is saying, there is no one right or wrong way with these things.

SarahSassy

Ah no, thats fine... You have been very busy and it will progress if its meant to be... Dont be putting pressure on yourself.

Colonel_McCoy

Forget what your friend is saying.........everybody is different. If yourself and your bf are happy taking things slowly then thats all that counts.

TheZohanS

Once or twice a week is a great way to start off a relationship.

You're only going out a month and it's great that you can see each other that much.

Maybe after a few months you'll start seeing each other more often, the last thing you want to do is see each other too much too soon and not give each other enough space.

Stay focussed on college and work around that; your b/f will understand if he's a sound guy.

Best of luck!

Time out

Couple of times a week is grand - you're mate is off target with this one I reckon. You have nothing to be concerned about IMHO.

petethebrick

I have to disagree with the above replies...well to an extent. For me when I meet someone and i really fall for them i wanna see them a lot^^whatever about taking things slow...if on the other hand im just interested in dating said person meeting every so often is fine....at the end of the day just follow your feelings^^