has friend moved on?!

LegacyUser

hi i'm a guy that had a good friend(girl) at work, used to do lots together,and always in contact outside of work. would have considered her a really good friend, would have told each other private details of each other too.
she has since changed jobs and moved away.she warned me to keep contact. at first contact seemed good(every second day) for 1st maybe 2 weeks, then no answer to call or txt and very slow reply after(days then sometimes nothing at all).

after a few weeks of no contact i said i's say it to her and, she said that she was sorry, that she was terrible at keeping contact, wasnt the case before. this has happened a few times now.
i get the feeling that she no longer wants to keep contact, so asked her if this was the case, she said "no way,really miss u".

then again no contact, ive stopped making any effort to call or txt for the last while and there has been no contact.

am i right to say that she has moved on and would rather no contact? should i just forget about this friend? it really bothers me that someone i considered such a good friend, could forget me so quickly, so easily. sometimes i get really annoyed about it.
any advice or opinions would be great.thanks

towel401

yea i know one like that. goes out of her way to tell me shes not ignoring me and then ****s off back into her own little world because she is "so busy". ya know i think its a load of bee ess. probably has a lot more to do with the fact that she can't own up to the fact that she doesnt want to talk to you

you *could* try to contact her every single day. or get pissed off at her for not keeping contact, its unlikely to work but at least it will end the stale mate but people are very paranoid about stalkers these days. some of these girls are the kind that will get the gardee to tell you to stop calling her because she's just too damn quiet to do it herself. girls like to fade into the background and not have anything to do with a person but leave on good terms so they have someone to get favours from or hang out with should they ever decide to return. any intrusion into the 'growing apart' process will be seen as 'stalking'.

basically with these types its extremely hard to get a straight answer from them. call her and ask if she wants to meet up. i tried this before, and in the end i started to call her up just to hear the excuse she would come up with. just after i told her i would be staying in england for 2 weeks she said she was just going on a '2 and a half week holiday' - to make sure i'm well and truly gone when she comes back. i nearly died laughing but when the excuses start getting ridiculous like that ya kinda know its time to give up.. some people just don't know how to do confrontation at all.

LegacyUser

yes i think she has moved on.(although its possible she's busy) there is no point trying to keep asking her if she wants to keep in contact as shge is hardly going to say 'no, our friendship is over'

LegacyUser

I travelled and lived abroad for about 4 years in total and what struck me the first time was that friends of mine never bothered to keep in touch with me.....

But, I realised that some of them are just that lazy, or it's a case of out of sight out of mind - that's the case with most guys I know. It used to really get to me but you realise that people are just like that.

Some people are just better at staying in touch than others.

Also, work friends can be just that "work friends" - have you ever gone back into a place you used to work in for a visit :

all of these people who you dealt with every day, had a laugh with, partied with, worked with, drank with every Friday and were really your extended family now have very little to say to you and vice versa.........


Stick to emails. Avoid phone calls and texts..... keep it breezy. I speak to my very close friend maybe every two or three days..... other friends about once a week and then less close friends once a month so maybe you just think you're closer to her than you are.

LegacyUser

I've a similar situation...except I just text the guy once every couple of weeks.We're good friends - spent an entire day with him a few weeks ago just sitting around having a laugh, but I still only text him every couple of weeks.If nothing else, it gives you time to have stuff to talk about.Talking every day or second day...what do you say other than hi? Which might be okay by you but it'll be a better conversation if you at least have something to talk about. She's probably interested in being friends, but you're just more willing to make a bigger effort.My contact is all on my side, which I accept..because he's always the first to say come on back to the house or whatever, when we do get in touch.He's just crap at the actual getting in touch!Too busy.
You probably think you're better friends with than you are, but just keep it casual.Leave it a few says each time.If she's that disinterested it'll show pretty quick.

crazzzzy

OP im useless at keepin in touch with people but it doesnt mean i dont wanna stay friends with them. its partly laziness r absent minded i suppose but i think when ur used to hanging out with some1 its not d same when ur keeping n touch by fone. my childhood best friend lives within 20 miles of me but we r both v bad 4 keeping in touch but when we meet up we'll spend hrs catching up & its much better than texting.

why dont u ask her if she wants to meet up sme weekend....if she tries avoiding it then shes moved on & ul have to accept that.

Sugar Drunk

It happens. I was great friends with a guy I worked with. He left work, we contact each other the odd time forwarding emails etc but thats it.

You once shared a common interest (work) and were in the same place as each other for hours each day. Once that common interest is gone it will often be that the friendship goes too - out of sight out of mind.

It seems that you saw her as a friend where as she saw you as someone she was friends with through work. Theres a big difference.