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Going out with a friend...

  • 05-11-2008 9:24pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Regular PI poster going unreg for this one.

    It's been, shall we say, "a while" since my last relationship. This year, a bunch of my younger (1 year - 18 months) friends started in my college. I'm finding myself to be quite taken with one of them of late. We've been friends for years and years, and I have felt this way before about her, but have never done anything about it, or let anyone know.

    Now, in social situations, I feel awkward and uneasy if she's there. Typical crush, I know. But this time I want to do something about it. I talked to another one of the girls in our group about and she basically put the facts out on the table. She hasn't even kissed a guy since she was 16 (was 19 a couple of months ago), and is perceived to be quite bitter/cold towards guys by our mutual female friends.

    Talking to other mates, it's kind of a 50:50 split as to either "go for it" or "steer clear of that situation", so it's up to my gut, and that's telling me to go for it.

    It's not that I'm nervous, or scared of rejection, but I'm scared that, for some reason, she may take it "badly", for want of a better term, and there would be an unease within our social circle(which is by no means infinitely large), and embarrassment between me and her. She is that close a friend that I really don't want to risk sacrificing our friendship on the chance of a bad reaction.

    I really do like her a lot,and would really like to just go for it, but I'm afraid I may just have thought about it too much, or something.

    So to those of you have been asked out by a mate or asked out a mate and rejection ensued, is there awkwardness? Those of you who have gone out with mates, what would you recommend? And to everyone else: advice, please!

    Thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    Curvy Vixen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,131 ✭✭✭Curvy Vixen


    Awkwardness after rejection...truthfully, yes. There was just a sense of something not quite right for about 8 weeks after I said no. But then we got drunk one night and I brought up the subject and we spoke a bit more about it and we were fine then.

    But, if your gut feeling is saying go for it then do just that. It's 50/50 as to whether she says yes or not and if you are good friends you will get over the rejection, honestly.

    If you don't try though you'll torment yourself forever!


  • #3
    sam34
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,073 ✭✭✭sam34


    i would say go for it. otherwise you will end up always wondering, and you will watch her getting on with her life and be wondering if you could have played a role there.
    im speaking from experience here... i recently attended the wedding of a friend i was too afraid to come clean to...


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