The greatest "office rat" you ever worked with?

jetsonx

We all know the type...

Have you ever worked with someone who spend more time playing office politics than actually doing productive bottom-line work? Do you know the type of person?(a) the expend vast quantites of effort and time doing "ass covering" work (b) the also specialise in doing "high visibility" (but not v.important) work that they know well be seen by the boss (c) they work hard at "looking busy and productive".

Every office has one or two!...Tell us your story?

BrokenArrows

jetsonx wrote: »

We all know the type...

Have you ever worked with someone who spend more time playing office politics than actually doing productive bottom-line work? Do you know the type of person?(a) the expend vast quantites of effort and time doing "ass covering" work (b) the also specialise in doing "high visibility" (but not v.important) work that they know well be seen by the boss (c) they work hard at "looking busy and productive".

Every office has one or two!...Tell us your story?

Dammit, they have noticed!

Better get my cup o soup before i hit my 3pm slump

xOxSinéadxOx

you stole my joke

brendansmith

http://www.minimovie.com/film-128423...Donald%20Trump

Sharpshooter

Ben : never found out his last name...........


He was never my friend, whatever that Jackson fella says.

I work alone Hmmmm where's the mirror.. :P

Sharpshooter

Deleted User wrote: »

I work alone Hmmmm where's the mirror.. :P

* points * under the porno mags.:p

Darragh29

Hah, I read the OP and I recognised the type immediately. Sadly, they make up the vast majority of Irish management personnel in Ireland. In Ireland, we promote the incompetent people who can talk about meetings, who can talk about organising meetings about discussions, talk sh*ite about organising meetings about meetigs and at meetings about organising meetings about meetings, organising meetings about meetings about decisions, pick up the buzz words and throw them out at meetings about decisions about meetings, throwing shapes at meetings, etc, etc...

Meanwhile, the people who are covering for and carrying these utter gimps in the workplace while they are talking utter sh*te at meetings, about organising meetings, and organising meeting adout meetings, are the people who we should probably be promoting...

It's an Irish thing!

sharpshooterH

sharpshooterH wrote: »

* points * under the porno mags.:p

looks, found it!

xOxSinéadxOx

Darragh29 wrote: »

Hah, I read the OP and I recognised the type immediately. Sadly, they make up the vast majority of Irish management personnel in Ireland. In Ireland, we promote the incompetent people who can talk about meetings, who can talk about organising meetings about discussions, talk sh*ite about organising meetings about meetigs and at meetings about organising meetings about meetings, organising meetings about meetings about decisions, pick up the buzz words and throw them out at meetings about decisions about meetings, throwing shapes at meetings, etc, etc...

Meanwhile, the people who are covering for and carrying these utter gimps in the workplace while they are talking utter sh*te at meetings, about organising meetings, and organising meeting adout meetings, are the people who we should probably be promoting...

It's an Irish thing!

we really do, the people who talk bull**** go places

RoosterIllusion

My old manager was like that. He wasn't a bad guy, being honest, but he just knew how to cover his own ass and disappear at 3pm every Friday. Imagine Malcolm In The Middle's dad being your manager but not being funny or likeable.

I also worked with this woman from Scotland called Jackie, forget her second name. She was a complete ****. Jackie, I think your a ****.

That is all.

Fruity Scones for all.

In many offices the incompetants are promoted into positions where they can't do any harm, they just then delegate 100% of their work to their staff who get the job done without interference.

Sharpshooter

Darragh29 wrote: »

Hah, I read the OP and I recognised the type immediately. Sadly, they make up the vast majority of Irish management personnel in Ireland. In Ireland, we promote the incompetent people who can talk about meetings, who can talk about organising meetings about discussions, talk sh*ite about organising meetings about meetings and at meetings about organising meetings about meetings, organising meetings about meetings about decisions, pick up the buzz words and throw them out at meetings about decisions about meetings, throwing shapes at meetings, etc, etc...

Meanwhile, the people who are covering for and carrying these utter gimps in the workplace while they are talking utter sh*te at meetings, about organising meetings, and organising meeting adout meetings, are the people who we should probably be promoting...

It's an Irish thing!

Dating sites ftw..

Nodin

jetsonx wrote: »

We all know the type...

Have you ever worked with someone who spend more time playing office politics than actually doing productive bottom-line work? Do you know the type of person?(a) the expend vast quantites of effort and time doing "ass covering" work (b) the also specialise in doing "high visibility" (but not v.important) work that they know well be seen by the boss (c) they work hard at "looking busy and productive".

Every office has one or two!...Tell us your story?

Currently I'm sitting 30 feet away from somebody I recently learned earns considerably more than me. They have less experience, aren't here as long, and have (and I can actually prove this) contributed far, far, less.

They do however, do something I don't do. They laugh at the directors sisters jokes. They buy her pressies. They suck up to that Director and MD. They invite said Director to their Ann Summers party. They go repeating "OOOooooo My GOOOOD" (I counted 4 this morning) every time Directors sister has new outfit or hairdo, or shoes, or other such crap. They spend an hour and a half to two hours every morning talking small talk (which I can hear perfectly clearly from here) with Directors Sister. Throw in backbiting, keeping the training of new staff to the basics so they always have to rely on her and there you have it. Scum, really.

Zangetsu

What have we learned?

SheroN

Nodin wrote: »

Currently I'm sitting 30 feet away from somebody I recently learned earns considerably more than me. They have less experience, aren't here as long, and have (and I can actually prove this) contributed far, far, less.

They do however, do something I don't do. They laugh at the directors sisters jokes. They buy her pressies. They suck up to that Director and MD. They invite said Director to their Ann Summers party. They go repeating "OOOooooo My GOOOOD" (I counted 4 this morning) every time Directors sister has new outfit or hairdo, or shoes, or other such crap. They spend an hour and a half to two hours every morning talking small talk (which I can hear perfectly clearly from here) with Directors Sister. Throw in backbiting, keeping the training of new staff to the basics so they always have to rely on her and there you have it. Scum, really.

Sounds like someone is bitter.

Hate the game not the player.

iPlop

Nodin wrote: »

Currently I'm sitting 30 feet away from somebody I recently learned earns considerably more than me. They have less experience, aren't here as long, and have (and I can actually prove this) contributed far, far, less.

They do however, do something I don't do. They laugh at the directors sisters jokes. They buy her pressies. They suck up to that Director and MD. They invite said Director to their Ann Summers party. They go repeating "OOOooooo My GOOOOD" (I counted 4 this morning) every time Directors sister has new outfit or hairdo, or shoes, or other such crap. They spend an hour and a half to two hours every morning talking small talk (which I can hear perfectly clearly from here) with Directors Sister. Throw in backbiting, keeping the training of new staff to the basics so they always have to rely on her and there you have it. Scum, really.

Eating C**K off conveyorbelt if needed --THATS whats really goin on.Trust me I work in an office and what you are describing is slutty office politics.

Nodin

SheroN wrote: »

Sounds like someone is bitter.

Hate the game not the player.

At this stage, no, I'll despise the lot. That includes the ones being sucked up to as much as the suckee.

And yes, I suppose I am bitter.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

SheroN wrote: »

Sounds like someone is bitter.

Hate the game not the player.

In fariness, thisgame sucks as much as anyone who plays it.

robtri

damn, why can't I find slutty office politics to play ........

ART6

The "Peter" principle: In any organisation there is a tendancy to promote people to their level of incompetence. Therefore eventually, in such organisations, all senior management are incompetent.

Such people need to defend their positions by being assholes, since they are incapable of doing a proper job.

Wagon

Nodin wrote: »

Currently I'm sitting 30 feet away from somebody I recently learned earns considerably more than me. They have less experience, aren't here as long, and have (and I can actually prove this) contributed far, far, less.

They do however, do something I don't do. They laugh at the directors sisters jokes. They buy her pressies. They suck up to that Director and MD. They invite said Director to their Ann Summers party. They go repeating "OOOooooo My GOOOOD" (I counted 4 this morning) every time Directors sister has new outfit or hairdo, or shoes, or other such crap. They spend an hour and a half to two hours every morning talking small talk (which I can hear perfectly clearly from here) with Directors Sister. Throw in backbiting, keeping the training of new staff to the basics so they always have to rely on her and there you have it. Scum, really.

Director is just as bad to actually fall for that crap. I don't have any respect for those who allow themselves to be led by the sycophants. But it's probably because they themselves got the job by flattery of the highter management. What's she like to everyone else though? Is she nice at all?

Nodin

Wagon wrote: »

Director is just as bad to actually fall for that crap. I don't have any respect for those who allow themselves to be led by the sycophants.

The MD likes his ego stroked on a regular basis allright. The other one is more a case of straightforward nepotism, with the sisters cronies along for the ride.

Wagon wrote: »

But it's probably because they themselves got the job by flattery of the highter management. What's she like to everyone else though? Is she nice at all?

To their face, yes, generally speaking. However anybody viewed as potential threat will find themselves sidelined very quickly. The last one to go into that Department was older, had a good deal of experience elsewhere in the business, and as a result found herself frozen out from day one. Not long after the stories of incompetence started circulating, to the extent that another member of management had to intervene.

Probably the most memorable one was years ago, in which, during lunch with a floor manager, I was told that x was on drugs. 'No, they aren't' sez I and discovered that the story originated from the scuzzbucket, explaining x's somewhat erratic behaviour, which she seemed at pains to highlight. What pissed me off was the fact that x was acting erratically all right, but it was because of a miscarriage and had nada to do with drugs. Nobody bothered their arse investigating beyond her highness though.

It should be pointed out that I'm a male in a female dominated (staff wise) industry....the women here think the same as I do, but it seems to irritate them less....

Clare Bear

Yet again I'm thankful that I work with animals. Some people are dickheads.

Mr. Incognito

Every politician, ever.

Everyone in the civil service.

Anyone called Tina.

Me.

Blitzkrieger

Wanting to be a manager should disqualify you from ever becoming one.

I spent ages working on a high-visibility project that saved the company a fortune with my current manager listed as 'sponser'. When all the work was done his name was suddenly down as project leader....

****er's at a career dead-end now but he'll find a way to worm his way out of that.

SEPT 23 1989

thank god im self employed and dont have to put up with this rubbish:eek:

Nehaxak

Yeah, this kind of stuff really pisses me off. I hate arse kissers and I've seen so many "managers" in the past trying to justify both their salary and positions with the crap being mentioned here.

1) Integrity
2) Humility
3) Ability
4) Responsibility
5) Honesty

The five things most missing from an awful lot of managment these days in Ireland. Whatever happened to just doing your job and doing it well without having to kiss arse, lie, cheat or otherwise be dishonest to justify your salary and position ?
If you can't do your job as a manager while adhering to all the 5 points above then just piss off and let someone else do it.

Don't even get me started on the whole "C" level of management in Ireland :mad:

Earthhorse

I recognise the type though in my experience they haven't been so political. Just disorganised people who couldn't get their work done, so they end up doing all the hours God gave them, rather than trying to organise their work, and end up getting attached to all sorts of messes, usually of their own making, and then getting credited for resolving them, which would be fair enough if they weren't of their own making. Usually, management value these people because when the shit hits the fan they'll work their asses off (usually to save their asses on).

Darragh29 wrote: »

Hah, I read the OP and I recognised the type immediately. Sadly, they make up the vast majority of Irish management personnel in Ireland. In Ireland, we promote the incompetent people who can talk about meetings, who can talk about organising meetings about discussions, talk sh*ite about organising meetings about meetigs and at meetings about organising meetings about meetings, organising meetings about meetings about decisions, pick up the buzz words and throw them out at meetings about decisions about meetings, throwing shapes at meetings, etc, etc...

Meanwhile, the people who are covering for and carrying these utter gimps in the workplace while they are talking utter sh*te at meetings, about organising meetings, and organising meeting adout meetings, are the people who we should probably be promoting...

It's an Irish thing!

Meetings aren't so much the problem as meetings without agendas and minutes, hence the need for endless meetings you describe above, because no consensus can be reached on what was agreed in the last meeting.

And I'd like to think it's an Irish thing but dysfunctional organisations are a worldwide phenomenon.

BroomBurner

I dunno, Earthhorse, I've found that the people who work long hours and put in the time and effort rarely go very far very quickly. In fact, those people, to me, are unable to do their job properly. I'm sure managers could tell the difference when someone f*cks up and then solves their own mess.

On a note of how pathetic kiss-arsing can be, however, was in one place I worked in where all the lads that worked there would switch from pints to bottles of whatever the boss was drinking, just to be like him. As soon as the boss would go, they would be back to their pints.

Fair play really to the people that get themselves promoted by not doing much work though. If someone hasn't been promoted, maybe they're just trying too hard.

AlmightyCushion

BroomBurner wrote: »

On a note of how pathetic kiss-arsing can be, however, was in one place I worked in where all the lads that worked there would switch from pints to bottles of whatever the boss was drinking, just to be like him. As soon as the boss would go, they would be back to their pints.

That is pretty pathetic.

bigpinkelephant

jetsonx wrote: »

We all know the type...

Have you ever worked with someone who spend more time playing office politics than actually doing productive bottom-line work? Do you know the type of person?(a) the expend vast quantites of effort and time doing "ass covering" work (b) the also specialise in doing "high visibility" (but not v.important) work that they know well be seen by the boss (c) they work hard at "looking busy and productive".

Every office has one or two!...Tell us your story?

I work with a guy who is a COMPLETE lick-ass..

CONSTANT sucking up to the boss, who feeds his ego by making it clear he is the favourite- it's like Teacher's Pet.
-Makes snide "jokes" about other people's productivity when the boss isn't around
-Makes more snide "jokes" about how great he is and how important he is
-Steps on other people's toes (including mine) and then makes even more snide "jokes" about how he has to do other people's work because they can't do it themselves
-Makes loud remarks whenever he sees a fault in anyone else's work
-Sits there on the internet while exclaiming "Oh I'm so BUSY!!" at least 10 times a day.
-When I started, he was meant to train me in and eventually we would share the work.
This didn't happen. He didn't train me, then when I did something wrong, told the boss and I'd have to sit in a meeting about it.
Or he'd insist on taking most of the work and then exclaim about how BUSY he was.

Earthhorse

BroomBurner wrote: »

I dunno, Earthhorse, I've found that the people who work long hours and put in the time and effort rarely go very far very quickly. In fact, those people, to me, are unable to do their job properly. I'm sure managers could tell the difference when someone f*cks up and then solves their own mess.

Not where I work. Good organisational skills just aren't valued enough, possibly because management are so used to not seeing them that they don't understand what they're missing.

Riddle101

Don't know about work, but when i was in school their were a few lick asses who used to kiss the teachers ass. They'd do things like stay back at the end of their classes and chat with the teacher or tell him about things that happened in school that day and simply just always kissing up. TBH the teacher brought it on himself, he was a legend but he usually spent whole classes just talking about the world in general rather then teach us his subject. Of course it was English and nobody really needed to learn anythign anyway but i'm just saying he had his favourites.

I'm also in the RDF and there's this one Corporal in my unit who dose bit of ass kissing.

FOGOFUNK

Thats what you get for working in offices suckers.

Firetrap

Yeah. Years ago, I worked in an office where the manager quit and it took the powers that be ages to replace him. We (as in the small people in the office) did things as best we could til a replacement came in but there were certain things that ended up sliding a bit because there wasn't someone in the place to make a definitive decision.

Anyway, new boss came in and had a meeting with the staff. It was great stuff altogether. I recall him saying stuff like 'singing from the same hymn sheet' and 'we're all in this together' and that he'd support the office staff. The idiot should have had the brains to shut his office door a couple of days later when someone overheard him on the phone hanging the lot of us. I had no time for him after that and I think I'm earning more money than him now. Ha!

Riddle101

Firetrap wrote: »

Yeah. Years ago, I worked in an office where the manager quit and it took the powers that be ages to replace him. We (as in the small people in the office) did things as best we could til a replacement came in but there were certain things that ended up sliding a bit because there wasn't someone in the place to make a definitive decision.

Anyway, new boss came in and had a meeting with the staff. It was great stuff altogether. I recall him saying stuff like 'singing from the same hymn sheet' and 'we're all in this together' and that he'd support the office staff. The idiot should have had the brains to shut his office door a couple of days later when someone overheard him on the phone hanging the lot of us. I had no time for him after that and I think I'm earning more money than him now. Ha!

Why dose this guy remind me so much of The Office:D the guy reminds me of David Brent

When he came in did he play any songs to get everyone motivated and talk and constanly try to make himself look great in the eyes of his peers?

tritium

I think my favourite was the guy who rang a colleague while he was cradling his newly born son to get a project update. Twat had tried to hang me a few times too but I'd given him a wide berth. Hilarious thing was senior management knew what he was like, couldn't stand him, and worked him like a dog - and the gob****e kept coming back for more, he really thought he was going places!!

Blush_01

bigpinkelephant wrote: »

I work with a guy who is a COMPLETE lick-ass..

CONSTANT sucking up to the boss, who feeds his ego by making it clear he is the favourite- it's like Teacher's Pet.
-Makes snide "jokes" about other people's productivity when the boss isn't around
-Makes more snide "jokes" about how great he is and how important he is
-Steps on other people's toes (including mine) and then makes even more snide "jokes" about how he has to do other people's work because they can't do it themselves
-Makes loud remarks whenever he sees a fault in anyone else's work
-Sits there on the internet while exclaiming "Oh I'm so BUSY!!" at least 10 times a day.
-When I started, he was meant to train me in and eventually we would share the work.
This didn't happen. He didn't train me, then when I did something wrong, told the boss and I'd have to sit in a meeting about it.
Or he'd insist on taking most of the work and then exclaim about how BUSY he was.

I know him! I hate him.

bigpinkelephant

Blush_01 wrote: »

I know him! I hate him.

you probably just know someone like him...you can't possibly be unlucky enough to actually know him!

Blush_01

I'm pretty sure I don't know the exact person you're talking about - for one pretty major reason. But he sounds exactly like someone who works with someone I know.

I'd love to see what people like that would do if forced to work with someone the same as themselves. THAT should be their punishment. An office where just covering your ass and making not-so-subtle veiled digs at people wouldn't be tolerated, populated solely by the a$$hats from the Knorr ads and their ilk.

Darragh29

I used to work with this piece of scum in an office who was a cousin of the owner of the business. He couldn't stop blinking, especially when he was nervous/lying or trying to bullsh*t people, who on every occasion spotted his childish ways a mile away. We used to call him "Blinkety Blank", after the 1980's quiz game, "Blankety Blank"!

jetsonx

BroomBurner wrote: »

On a note of how pathetic kiss-arsing can be, however, was in one place I worked in where all the lads that worked there would switch from pints to bottles of whatever the boss was drinking, just to be like him. As soon as the boss would go, they would be back to their pints.

Argh!! Ireland is changing...what industry was this btw?

Riddle101

BroomBurner wrote: »

I dunno, Earthhorse, I've found that the people who work long hours and put in the time and effort rarely go very far very quickly. In fact, those people, to me, are unable to do their job properly. I'm sure managers could tell the difference when someone f*cks up and then solves their own mess.

On a note of how pathetic kiss-arsing can be, however, was in one place I worked in where all the lads that worked there would switch from pints to bottles of whatever the boss was drinking, just to be like him. As soon as the boss would go, they would be back to their pints.

Fair play really to the people that get themselves promoted by not doing much work though. If someone hasn't been promoted, maybe they're just trying too hard.

I don't get how the boss could be impressed by his employees drinking what he drinks, i mean c'mon it's pretty moronic. Dose that mean if the boss has a thing for eating s**t they're gonna switch to eating s**t too just to be like him. It dosen't make any sense how low people will go to grovel.

(Notes to self, find out what the boss drinks)

pickarooney

I used to work with a busybody arseclown called Walter Kant.
Not being a cockney he never realised the uncanny aptness of his name.
But I did. The kant.

harney

Darragh29 wrote: »

Hah, I read the OP and I recognised the type immediately. ...It's an Irish thing!

No its not, not even close. I am living in the UK now and it is no different here, perhaps even a little worse if the truth be told. Very funny to watch if you can avoid the fall out though