Friday Funums

rocky25

A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date.

'Mummy,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'

'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied.

'It's not polite.'

'OK', the little girl says, 'How much do you weigh?'

'Now really,' the mother says, 'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'

Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'

'That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!'

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

'My Mum won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.

'Well,' says the friend, 'all you need to do is look at her drivers license.

It is like a report card, it has everything on it.'

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, '

I know how old you are, you are 32.'

The mother is surprised and asks, 'How did you find that out?

'I also know that you weigh 140 pounds.'

The mother is past surprised and shocked now.

'How in heaven's name did you find that out?'

'And,' the little girl says triumphantly,

'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'

'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'

'Because you got an F in sex.'

~~~~~~~~~~~

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street.

The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.

'That's a serious step,' he said. 'Have you thought it out completely?'

'Yes,' his young son answered.

'We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers.

It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.'

'How about transportation?' the father asked.

'I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles' the little boy answered.

The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked,

'What about babies?

When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know.'

'We've thought about that, too,' the little boy replied.

'We're not going to have babies.

Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!

~~~~~~~~~~~

A man boarded a plane with 6 kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked,

'Are all of those kids yours?'


He replied, 'No. I work for a condom company.

These are customer complaints.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
KIDS.

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.
After a while he asked:

"Mom, why have you got two?

Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups.

"Please don't give me this juice again," she said,

"It makes my teeth cough."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story.

His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.

Concerned, James asked:

"What happened to the flea?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face.

"Without you, we are but dust."

He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!)

leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice,

"Dad, what is butt dust"?

coldfire1x

good stuff as usual

dh0661

Excellent #1 rocky :D:D