Deli Roll Makers....

Theresalwaysone

You know when you go into a shop/deli to get your lunch and your all happy out about to order a big hot chicken roll or whatever takes your fancy and the deli assistant making your roll makes an absolute abortion of it?

I mean how hard is it to make a nice tidy roll that I can eat without looking like an absolute idiot, instead I get a roll STUFFED to the gills with toppings that go everywhere when you try to take a bite. You end up spilling more of the filling on the ground than eating it...

Anyone else find this really really annoying?




I'm quite bored, hungover and grumpy. Rant over.

javaboy

Theresalwaysone wrote: »

Anyone else find this really really annoying?

Yes. I get angry out when people can't make my sandwiches properly. So much so that I've taken to making them myself.

lemd

Happened to me today, peppers falling everywhere! she did load it with cajin chicken too though so i forgive her

brianthebard

It can't have been an abortion or else it would've gone in the bin and you wouldn't have eaten it; therefore I put it to you that the sandwich was a live birth.

Darragh29

Theresalwaysone wrote: »

You know when you go into a shop/deli to get your lunch and your all happy out about to order a big hot chicken roll or whatever takes your fancy and the deli assistant making your roll makes an absolute abortion of it?

I mean how hard is it to make a nice tidy roll that I can eat without looking like an absolute idiot, instead I get a roll STUFFED to the gills with toppings that go everywhere when you try to take a bite. You end up spilling more of the filling on the ground than eating it...

Anyone else find this really really annoying?




I'm quite bored, hungover and grumpy. Rant over.

Worse still, if you don't like veg or salad and usually just order a chicken sambo or a ham and cheese and some dosey c*nt manages to get a bit union into it... AARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

echter

Oh My God!!, that has to be one of the worst things about delis. The last time i got a roll i asked for ham lettuce cheese and a teeny tiny bit of coleslaw.
How hard is that to make?

well the deli woman started first with the ham lettuce cheese and coleslaw, then stuffed the ham on top. So when i went to eat it it just all fell out and like a meat taco.

the same woman that when i asked for a filled bagel, sliced it halfways and stuffed everything in one side.

i feel like a grumpy old woman

Shryke

The more they put in the better. I'll live with looking a little silly. I always get annoyed when people are sparse when making a sandwich or sub. I'm paying good money and the ingredients aren't coming out of their pockets. Come on, lob it on!

brianthebard

echter wrote: »

Oh My God!!, that has to be one of the worst things about delis.

The worst thing about deli's is they make your sandwich for you? Bunch of whingers ffs just eat the fu.cking thing!

Captain Darling

I go to a place in Eyre Square and it always goes like this:

Me: I want tomato, lettuce and chicken in the roll.
Them: Cheese, lettuce and chicken yes?
Me: No, tomato, lettuce and chicken.
Them: Cheese yes.
Me: No TOMATO!
Them: Cheese
Me: Yes, cheese.

I dont know how the fcuk they manage to mix up tomato with cheese. Its always the same person. Drives me around the fcuking twist.

javaboy

Captain Darling wrote: »

I go to a place in Eyre Square and it always goes like this:

Me: I want tomato, lettuce and chicken in the roll.
Them: Cheese, lettuce and chicken yes?
Me: No, tomato, lettuce and chicken.
Them: Cheese yes.
Me: No TOMATO!
Them: Cheese
Me: Yes, cheese.

I dont know how the fcuk they manage to mix up tomato with cheese. Its always the same person. Drives me around the fcuking twist.

It might not help that you keep saying "no tomato".

Turd Ferguson

Or when they dont change gloves or clean the knives after dealing with messy shit. Cheese and meat and onions are okay but the other day the chick was serving the guy before me and she was scooping coleslaw and egg and all this mank shit up and it was on her gloves. Then she cut the roll in half and served me. I only wanted chicken and cheese but was left with bits of egg and onions and all sorts from the other guys roll.
Needless to say I was not a happy camper.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Annoy them. Ask them lots of questions. Does the butter come from Irish cows? Is the lettuce low-fat? Do you have chicken legs? (If the say 'yes' try to peer over the the counter at the assisstant's legs and frown). Ask for an extra-medium coffee. Ask them does the room come with breakfast.

brianthebard

Captain Darling wrote: »

I go to a place in Eyre Square and it always goes like this:

Me: I want tomato, lettuce and chicken in the roll.
Them: Cheese, lettuce and chicken yes?
Me: No, tomato, lettuce and chicken.
Them: Cheese yes.
Me: No TOMATO!
Them: Cheese
Me: Yes, cheese.

I dont know how the fcuk they manage to mix up tomato with cheese. Its always the same person. Drives me around the fcuking twist.

They don't. They were asking a question. You fail at basic English dum dum.

Captain Darling

brianthebard wrote: »

They don't. They were asking a question. You fail at basic English dum dum.

Surely you're having a laph?

mickdw

echter wrote: »

Oh My God!!, that has to be one of the worst things about delis. The last time i got a roll i asked for ham lettuce cheese and a teeny tiny bit of coleslaw.
How hard is that to make?

well the deli woman started first with the ham lettuce cheese and coleslaw, then stuffed the ham on top. So when i went to eat it it just all fell out and like a meat taco.

the same woman that when i asked for a filled bagel, sliced it halfways and stuffed everything in one side.

i feel like a grumpy old woman

Yes im exactly like that, I also have to say a 'tiny bit' of coleslaw but only once ever have I got what I wanted. They still pack it in.
Also, I dont take butter or mayo or any sauces so I hate to get traces of any of those on my role but unfortunately it often happens and role ends up in the bin.

MrJones

Or you tell them that you only want a little butter and they load it like there's
no tomorrrow....!!! Same for mayonaise.:pac:

Mackman

^^ got in there before me ah well here's my rant anyway.

what is the deal with the butter??? the slab it on there as if they're tryin to get rid of it. nothing worse than biting into a roll and getting a huge mouth full of butter :mad:
I even make a point of saying "a little bit of butter please", but they dont listen. may as well be askin a monkey to make the feckin thing

copacetic

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Annoy them. Ask them lots of questions. Does the butter come from Irish cows? Is the lettuce low-fat? Do you have chicken legs? (If the say 'yes' try to peer over the the counter at the assisstant's legs and frown). Ask for an extra-medium coffee. Ask them does the room come with breakfast.

then wake up hungry if I'm behind you in the queue!

chickenhawk

Just tell them one ingredient at a time.

Ham please- Ham first
Some colesaw please - they put some on
Mixed peppers- Last but not least.

Roll made how you like it!

meathstevie

Turn it around a bit. In my books the best deli in county Dublin/Meath is the Texaco in Coolquay ( old N2 Ashbourne road a mile the Ashbourne direction from Ward cross ). The ladies behind the counter must be just about telepathic. It's like they understand my exact meaning of concepts like "a little bit of butter" or "a good splash of red sauce" better than I do myself. Nine times out of ten the rolls are excellent and then every once in a while you're lucky and it's just perfect.

projectmayhem

meathstevie wrote: »

Turn it around a bit. In my books the best deli in county Dublin/Meath is the Texaco in Coolquay ( old N2 Ashbourne road a mile the Ashbourne direction from Ward cross ). The ladies behind the counter must be just about telepathic. It's like they understand my exact meaning of concepts like "a little bit of butter" or "a good splash of red sauce" better than I do myself. Nine times out of ten the rolls are excellent and then every once in a while you're lucky and it's just perfect.

Texaco in Swords is similar. They're usually quite good, though sometimes "some cheese" turns into a ridiculous hoarding of the stuff. It can feel like they've a quota to meet.

wandatowell

I just hate it when a deli uses flora spread and not butter, hate flora.

Aidric

One word, mayonaise. Deli assistants just can't control themselves with this in their hands. Many a roll and sandwich has been ruined over their fondness for it.

tony1kenobi

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Annoy them. Ask them lots of questions. Does the butter come from Irish cows? Is the lettuce low-fat? Do you have chicken legs? (If the say 'yes' try to peer over the the counter at the assisstant's legs and frown). Ask for an extra-medium coffee. Ask them does the room come with breakfast.

Then sit bag and enjoy your meal of spit,****,fingernails and pubes........

tribulus

I have to say I think the Cuisine De France baguettes that are used in 99% of deli's aren't really suitable. They're too narrow to stick a decent amount of topping in there, the Subway style rolls are far more suited to jamming sh1t loads of stuff in imo.

Gummy Panda

i prefer subway. I'd go there more if the queues weren't so big everyday. There is 2 beside my job.

ScumLord

here, here, I agree old bean it's so hard to find good help these days. When I get the local Italian fello to construct me a kebab he presents me with a ball of meat wrapped in a thin skin of bread. It's hardly edible in one sitting never mind in transit as I believe the food should be.

partyatmygaff

never too many a complaint I have with my rolls(I only ever get 3 variations)

1. Chicken Tikka(The type with a lot of sauce) with a mixed salad with cherry tomatos in some kind of mayonaise dressing which always comes out perfect except if they lather on too much sauce with the salad then its meh but still so nice to eat.


2. Chicken and Stuffing and Mayo
By far the most trouble, Why oh why can they not just put the mayonaise first THEN the stuffing and finally the chicken instead of just loosely putting on some stuffing on top only for it to fall out the minute you open your roll as for mayonaise its either too much so that it soaks into the bread and tastes horrible or too little that you cant taste it.

3. Chicken and Egg salad
Why cant it be egg salad with all the crap that can fall out from it on the bottom and chicken on top????


:eek: odd seeing as just today i got a chk and stuffing roll exactly the way i hate it

punchdrunk

oooh this really grinds my gears

put the grated cheese on first you silly fcuker!! :mad:

it's gotten now that i order cheese first,and don't say another word until i see the stuff hitting the mayo,then i'll order the tuna whatever else :rolleyes:

also whats the craic with applying tuna with one of those ice-cream scoop things,and having the GAUL to only try and put one scoop in? NOT ON MY WATCH LOVE,NOT THIS LUNCHTIME :mad::mad:

and whats the craic with some of the staff when you order a sambo only buttering/mayoing one slice of the bread??
it's like the glue that binds the sambo together!

partyatmygaff

punchdrunk wrote: »

oooh this really grinds my gears

put the grated cheese on first you silly fcuker!! :mad:

it's gotten now that i order cheese first,and don't say another word until i see the stuff hitting the mayo,then i'll order the tuna whatever else :rolleyes:

also whats the craic with applying tuna with one of those ice-cream scoop things,and having the GAUL to only try and put one scoop in? NOT ON MY WATCH LOVE,NOT THIS LUNCHTIME :mad::mad:
Ouch, I'd love to see anyone try and argue with deli staff without looking like a fat hungry pig infront of everyone

and whats the craic with some of the staff when you order a sambo only buttering/mayoing one slice of the bread??
it's like the glue that binds the sambo together!

I know what i would do if I saw anyone argue with the deli staff over the amount of filling in a sandwich :pac:

skyhighflyer

Tell you what, next time you're all stuck behind a deli counter during a Bank Holiday weekend on minimum wage, see how much of a fuck ye give whether or not you get the level of mayonnaise correnct to the nearest nanometre.

partyatmygaff

skyhighflyer wrote: »

Tell you what, next time you're all stuck behind a deli counter during a Bank Holiday weekend on minimum wage, see how much of a fuck ye give whether or not you get the level of mayonnaise correnct to the nearest nanometre.

Actually its volume to the nearest nanolitre if im not so mistaken.

Your one of them arent you?:pac:

skyhighflyer

partyatmygaff wrote: »

Actually its volume to the nearest nanolitre if im not so mistaken.

Your one of them arent you?:pac:

No my good man, it would be volume to the nearest nanolitre if one were speaking about the actual amount of mayonnaise on the roll. The level of mayonnaise to the nearest nanometre refers to the coverage of mayonnaise on the surface of the roll which is a different matter entirely. It could perhaps be expressed as mayonnaise coverage per mm². I'm glad we could clear this up.

Ross_Mahon

Döner kebabs can be a battle sometimes, the filling breaking out the bottom and trying to shove it in your mouth at the same time.

partyatmygaff

skyhighflyer wrote: »

No my good man, it would be volume to the nearest nanolitre if one were speaking about the actual amount of mayonnaise on the roll. The level of mayonnaise to the nearest nanometre refers to the coverage of mayonnaise on the surface of the roll which is a different matter entirely. It could perhaps be expressed as mayonnaise coverage per mm². I'm glad we could clear this up.

Always wanted to have this chat....
:P

brendansmith

Got 2 rolls for lunch today. One was very nice, the other mmmmmm not so good tbh!

mayordenis

The actual problem is that irish consumers in general will accuse the deli of skimping if it isn;t packed to the brim, us good people end up getting a mess because of that.

anonymous_joe

mayordenis wrote: »

The actual problem is that irish consumers in general will accuse the deli of skimping if it isn;t packed to the brim, us good people end up getting a mess because of that.

Indeed!

Best roll I had lately was in the 911 in UCD, and it was just a chicken fillet, a little bit of butter and just enough cheddar cheese to make it perfect. Simple, warm and tasty.

minidazzler

brianthebard wrote: »

It can't have been an abortion or else it would've gone in the bin and you wouldn't have eaten it; therefore I put it to you that the sandwich was a live birth.

[STEVEN LYNCH]Ya, It was just a little bit special. [/STEVEN LYNCH]

Zangetsu

Rolls are nicer when you only use a little of each topping, one of my mates works in a deli, makes the best fookin rolls, he puts a small bit of everything in those tubs and you can still close the roll. No spillage and theres like 10 different flavors. mmmm hope he's working later haha :pac:

pickarooney

punchdrunk wrote: »

also whats the craic with applying tuna with one of those ice-cream scoop things,and having the GAUL to only try and put one scoop in?

Must be some French thing.

Malari

The local pub we go to for lunch sometimes has a deli counter and the woman there is pretty good at rolls to be honest. Sandwiches though, are her downfall. Now it must be pretty frantic when you see 10 people waiting for their lunch at one o'clock, so what she does is just put everything in the middle of the bread. Coleslaw, on. Ham, on. Lettuce, right on top of the mountain. Squeeze the second slice of bread on top. Then she can cut the sandwich without anything falling out but unless you open the sandwich and spread the wealth, you are basically eating a butter sandwich apart from two bites in the middle.

Gone West

skyhighflyer wrote: »

Tell you what, next time you're all stuck behind a deli counter during a Bank Holiday weekend on minimum wage, see how much of a fuck ye give whether or not you get the level of mayonnaise correnct to the nearest nanometre.

Thats the reason you're on 16k a year, working bank holidays, making sandwiches.

Trev M

Baguettes - How Celtic Tiger .... :pac:

Bit of brennans with banana and sugar .......none of yer ****e , ye pack of ponces.

thelordofcheese

ITT: People whine about how deli workers can't read their mind.

inforfun

Me: baguette with bacon and egg mayonaise please ( i dont even expect eating that without spilling)
Deli person while cutting the baguette: Butter or mayo?
Me: ??? isn't there enough mayo in egg mayonaise?

But then again.. deli person is a cute girl so whatever she does with my baguette I probably accept it anyway.

viota

I think the more filling the better. I'm paying them to give me a roll so i better get my moneys worth. I also like loads of mayo in mine with chicken and lettuce

chamlis

Deli chick: "Butturr orr mayoh?"
Me: "butter, please"

Later...

This isn't butter. It's ****ing margarine!
*plop* /coleslaw and cheese falls out
Great now it looks like I've cum stains on my lap

KerranJast

Was in a deli in Blarney a few weeks back. The lad beside me ordered a roll. Got the standard "Butter or Mayo?" question. Empathically said "Just mayo". Cue counter girl plastering the roll with a mound of butter and then half a jar of mayo. Yer man looked like he was going to cry but in typical Irish fashion wouldn't complain. It's like they're on autopilot sometimes.

ScumLord

inforfun wrote: »

Me: baguette with bacon and egg mayonaise please ( i dont even expect eating that without spilling)
Deli person while cutting the baguette: Butter or mayo?
Me: ??? isn't there enough mayo in egg mayonaise?

Just answer the question! And there's no such thing as to much mayonnaise.

PurpleBerry

Fück fillings. All I want in my roll is chicken. No mayo, no lettuce, no coleslaw, no anything else.

I have no problem paying the same price for my roll as the person beside me with so much in the roll that they can't close it. I'd rather pay €5 for a roll with exactly what I want (ie, just chicken) than pay €3 for a roll of cràp that I do not want.

And, as a sidenote. I love this thread.