mad about a friend

Bright Smile

i have been friends with someone for five years and have recently realised that I am crazy about him. Should I say anything? This could potentially ruin the group dynamic. do i simply let this go and not do anything? i havent gotten any signals back from him.

tolosenc

Pretty much my situation ath the mo, too, excepth with a she and not a he. Half of the lads are saying go for it, the other half are saying it's probably not the best idea. I figure I'm going to ask the girls in the group what they think, and see if they can weasel anything out of her!

I hear you on the dynamic, but I'd be more worried about awkwardness between between you two, tbh. Also, I'd imagine rejecion by a mate to be a lot less nice than rejection by someone you don't really care about. I dunno.

So no real advice as the blind aren't fit to lead the blond, but you're not the only one in this situation, if that helps at all...

Seanot

Bright Smile wrote: »

i have been friends with someone for five years and have recently realised that I am crazy about him. Should I say anything? This could potentially ruin the group dynamic. do i simply let this go and not do anything? i havent gotten any signals back from him.

Go for it, you only live once !!!

lorcanthrope

A group dynamic is definitely not something you want to be messing with... If you were serious about this, you'd have to make sure that you kept it away from the rest of the group until you know how you both feel... I've a group of friends who I was with in different periods over the last 4 or 5 years and it's certainly made me more fringe than core as regards acception. And amusingly my best friends within that group are the girls I've never been with. So, it is very dangerous to express an overt interest in your friends like that.

I'm just surprised that it took 5 years for you to realise!

jim o doom

Bright Smile wrote: »

i have been friends with someone for five years and have recently realised that I am crazy about him. Should I say anything? This could potentially ruin the group dynamic. do i simply let this go and not do anything? i havent gotten any signals back from him.

Well as long as this person isn't already in a relationship - it would be at least worth talking about! You never know what feelings this person might have -so it's worth a try, eh? He might never have said anything due to the reasons that you state.. Unrequited love is the worst; at least if you know for sure he doesn't return your feelings (or does says the internal optimist) you could begin a healing process. If you just leave it, the feelings could burn inside for a long time (like coals inside a burned down fire) and take you ages to get past it. If it doesn't work out it's momentary embarresment (at worst) or something a lot more meaningful (at best) so totally worth the risk

apathetic84

Seanot wrote: »

Go for it, you only live once !!!

i totally agree a close friend asked me out over four years ago. we had been friends for about a year and halfish then he asked me out and since then my life has been ideal go for it. I mean he saw me at my most depressed and on my ugly days and he still fancied me!!!

we are together over 4 years now and have lived together for 3 its the best thing ever!!!


go for it

SarahSassy

Go for it but dont be pushy and dont throw a tantrum if your friend does not respond as you want them to.....

Bright Smile

i really agree that rejection from a friend might be much harder to take than from a stranger. I would hate for him to feel weird around me and yet I cant stop myself from liking him, I just want to be with him all the time. i wish with all my heart I didnt feel this way but now I cant stop myself, ive allowed myself to feel it and so it must progress. Whats the opinion on saying it after we are both after a few drinks?cowardly i know

Overheal

Oh yes, Drinks. What a grandiose way of adding weeks of mind games to a situation. "Was it just the drink?"

No no. No Drink. Sober or nothing.

Dave5

Bright Smile wrote: »

i have been friends with someone for five years i havent gotten any signals back from him.

I'm of a different opinion, the guy has known you for five years and you're saying he hasn't given you any signals yet? Personally i don't think the guy is into you romantically.

Believe me, if i was into a girl i knew for five years, i'd definitely give her some indication i fancied her.

Don't confuse a good friendship with automatic love.

obl

obl wrote: »

Pretty much my situation ath the mo, too, excepth with a she and not a he. Half of the lads are saying go for it, the other half are saying it's probably not the best idea. I figure I'm going to ask the girls in the group what they think, and see if they can weasel anything out of her!

Thats a very very bad plan.Loose talk and your plans will get scuppered.
Look at it like a parachute jump and just ask the lady out.
You just need balls.

Same advice to the OP.
No procrastinating-get it over with and get a decision