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friend got new gf- ignoring me

  • 23-10-2008 10:02am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    A friend of mine, known him years, since i was in secondary school(had a few 1 nighters together, but i know his track record and knew i couldnt trust him to be a boyfriend, even though he begged me many times too)We were very close told each other everything.

    Anyway he got a new girlfriend about 5 months ago, it didnt seem to defer him from the constant "id leave her for you" messages. i laughed them off because i know him,hes a complete player and cant stand it if women dont like him. Things is though about a month ago things became a little off, the messages changed from "id leave her for you" to "im in love with you-ive always loed you, marry me".

    I told him straight out to cop on that he has a gf and i have a bf, and thats the way things are.

    Then 2 weeks ago got a text from his gf asking me to "leave him alone,and that im ruining their relationship"

    So since then hes been ignoring me, i mean everywhere- saw him in town yesterday and he blanked me totally(he was alone)

    I dont understand it, i miss him so much, me and him used to be so close, i dont get whats going on in his head!


Comments

  • #2
    craichoe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,706 ✭✭✭craichoe


    lokklo wrote: »
    A friend of mine, known him years, since i was in secondary school(had a few 1 nighters together, but i know his track record and knew i couldnt trust him to be a boyfriend, even though he begged me many times too)We were very close told each other everything.

    Anyway he got a new girlfriend about 5 months ago, it didnt seem to defer him from the constant "id leave her for you" messages. i laughed them off because i know him,hes a complete player and cant stand it if women dont like him. Things is though about a month ago things became a little off, the messages changed from "id leave her for you" to "im in love with you-ive always loed you, marry me".

    I told him straight out to cop on that he has a gf and i have a bf, and thats the way things are.

    Then 2 weeks ago got a text from his gf asking me to "leave him alone,and that im ruining their relationship"

    So since then hes been ignoring me, i mean everywhere- saw him in town yesterday and he blanked me totally(he was alone)

    I dont understand it, i miss him so much, me and him used to be so close, i dont get whats going on in his head!

    His G/F found txt messages to you, he blamed you saying you were coming on to him, now he has it in his head thats he free and clear because your the stalker (which your not)

    Anyways his relationship with yer wan won't last much longer and he'll probably be back in a month or two looking to talk to you again.


  • #3
    SpookyDoll
    Closed Accounts Posts: 533 ✭✭✭SpookyDoll


    Simple, she (his gf) sensed something off, rightly sensed some sort of unfinished biz between you two.

    He panicked and blamed you, he told her you are in love with him, that its all one sided on your part and you wont leave him alone. He barely got away with it.

    He is terrified she will find out the real truth:

    a. that he is in love with the idea of "forbidden love" with you
    (incidentally this alleged love would evaporate if you two got together as the forbidden bit is the only bit that makes it "exiting" for him)

    b. that its him whos been doing the chasing not you.

    He has painted himself into a corner now and has decided to solve the problem using the age old technique of....ignoring you.

    You have been scapegoated girl. He further proves what a tool he is.

    You might miss the declarations of undying love, because after all they are a boost to the old ego, but let him on, dont be tempted to chase him to get that back, it will end in tears.


  • #4
    wasper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 419 ✭✭wasper


    SpookyDoll wrote: »
    Simple, she (his gf) sensed something off, rightly sensed some sort of unfinished biz between you two.

    He panicked and blamed you, he told her you are in love with him, that its all one sided on your part and you wont leave him alone. He barely got away with it.

    He is terrified she will find out the real truth:

    a. that he is in love with the idea of "forbidden love" with you
    (incidentally this alleged love would evaporate if you two got together as the forbidden bit is the only bit that makes it "exiting" for him)

    b. that its him whos been doing the chasing not you.

    He has painted himself into a corner now and has decided to solve the problem using the age old technique of....ignoring you.

    You have been scapegoated girl. He further proves what a tool he is.

    You might miss the declarations of undying love, because after all they are a boost to the old ego, but let him on, dont be tempted to chase him to get that back, it will end in tears.
    You two need your head examined. This is a mutually destructive relationship. You had many one night stands. He has a GF & you have a BF. So what do you get out out of hanging around with him?
    He was very quick to hang you when his nice new relationship was in danger. And I thin k you will do the same to him.
    The time has come for you forget about him. He ignored you so it;s time to take a hint and move on. Concentrate on your BF. Do you think you have been fair to him?


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    wasper wrote: »
    when his nice new relationship was in danger. And I thin k you will do the same to him.
    The time has come for you forget about him. He ignored you so it;s time to take a hint and move on. Concentrate on your BF. Do you think you have been fair to him?


    first things first, in case you didnt read the orginal post im v close to him we have been friends for years.

    secondly im only with my bf the last 3 months, and i have not had the 1 nighters with the friend on him as you seem to think, and what did you mean am i being fair to my bf, whats this got to do with hm?


  • #6
    wasper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 419 ✭✭wasper


    lokklo wrote: »
    first things first, in case you didnt read the orginal post im v close to him we have been friends for years.

    secondly im only with my bf the last 3 months, and i have not had the 1 nighters with the friend on him as you seem to think, and what did you mean am i being fair to my bf, whats this got to do with hm?
    No I didn't mean you cheated on your BF with the friend. I meant you need to focus on your BF & since the friend has ignored you in the street, to me it means he has relegated you to a minor friend.


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  • #7
    seahorse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭seahorse


    lokklo wrote: »
    ..and what did you mean am i being fair to my bf, whats this got to do with hm?

    lokklo, if you don’t see what a man you've had sex with several times sending you messages like that has to do with your partner I'd be surprised if anyone here could give you advice that would sit well with you.

    I’ll give it a go anyway: I think you need to accept that this ‘friend’ has clearly prioritised his new gf over you. If you can manage to digest that fact, the next thing you need to do is simple: move on.


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