wetting and soiling 5 Y/O

35mm-negative

Here's our story so far,
Our D/S was toilet trained from 2.5 years and all things went great, he mastered it with excelence.forward 2 years he started to have the ocasional accident 1/2 times a week. Ok we dealt with it bringing extra clothes just in case.now at 5.5 he's wetting 3/4 times daily and started soiling also.daily clothes changes are at a maximum including bed wetting at night 1/2 times.I'm starting to think its an emotional problem and i'm leaning to the option of bringing him to a child psycologist.has any1 elce had this sort of thing happen ? its like we are going in reverse.He tells us he cant feel it coming out, our patients are at the limit.we try not to put pressure on him to go(give him full responsability for going) and we dont give out to him for it or try not to as sometimes its very frustrating.star charts/treats if he's dry dont work at all.at 5 i'm afraid for him in school as kids can be very crule and i dont want him bullied for it. we have had a family crisis with my mom in hospital, and the big transition of starting big school at 4. maybe thats the rason why he does it. some times i think its pure laziness. we are at our wits end and would like advice if any1 has been through it and came out the other side positivly

beth-lou

If he mastered it for two years then I don't think it is down to laziness. After all he is probably embarassed about it and know that it's wrong.
Have you brought him to the doctor to check if its a medical problem?
Have you spoken to his teacher to check if there are problems in school?
Have you had another child?

There is normally something significant that triggers a reversal like this. Our 6 year old started wetting the bed when her baby sister arrived home. We just kept reassuring her of her place in the family and eventually it stopped. The same thing happened when she went to school first.

I know its tiring but try to be patient with him. If he sees you becoming impatient it may make matters worse.

I would go to the doctor first and the teacher. And also talk to him. See if anything is worrying him. A five year old can pick up all sorts of vibes adn they do worry when they don't understand something. If there has been talk about his sick Granny it could have something to do with it. Or he could be just looking for attention.
I hope you can get to the bottom of it soon. I'm sure its hard on him too.

Oryx

I dont have both problems with my son, I have the soiling issue.

I found reading sites like this were helpful in understanding what was going on. I have recently tried taking all focus off the problem and not getting annoyed with him (visibly anyway!). Im also trying to alter his diet a little. He drinks lots of milk which might not be helping the problem. We still have episodes, but it improved almost instantly once he could see it was a non issue, and mammy and daddy werent scolding him. I was amazed at that, really, that it made such an immediate difference to be calm when it happened.

35mm-negative

Thanks 4 your support and responce guys it was of help knowing im not the only 1 goin thru this. Its not a medical condition as we hav brought him 2 the doc.
And i will be tlkin 2 the school also as thay (found out yesterday) hav a psycologist/teacher on site. Thay are fully aware about the wetting/soiling.

I know school is hard 4 him as it is for any child.its a hugh transition.he's academically great but Playfully not, finds it heartbreaking when playing.cant run as fast, dosnt color as neat,dosnt hav the same toys ect
He also donsnt have the same set of friends, flits thru each group. So im told by the teacher thats its normal in the first year or so when they find thr feet/intrest in people ect. and on the whole they are happy with his progress so far.

we only have him, no other siblings and all of our time is dedicated to him. The gentile approach works .when it happends all we say is (either dry or wet) Dont worrie its ok lets get you clean.then we together change beds/clothes ect but as always half way thru the change he sez are you angry !!! obviously i tell him im not and he'll grow out of it when his body is ready, but i'm woundering why he askes this.surly he dosnt want us 2 be angry at him! and i would never suggest i am (although your right kids can pick up on even the hint of feelings)

anyway we are quite open with him and always chat about our feelings and he has never told us or we have never got the impression that he's not happy and always end our chats with a family cuddle. I am lost with out answers and worried it will continue untill he's eight or older. I really do think it would be best if we sought counselling, if anybody would know of some1 as iv never ventured this far before.

All i care is that he is happy, not the fact that he will be wet/soiled, all beit he will be in tracksuit bottoms for the time being
Thanks again