Let the buyer beware!

byhookorbycrook

Seller's Terms...what they say & what they mean...

Just Started to break: we can lunge him, but we don't have enough insurance to ride him yet.

Top Show Horse: won a reserve championship 5 years ago at a show with unusual low entries due to a hurricane

Home Bred: knows nothing except being raised on the front lawn.

Recently Vetted: someone else found something badly wrong with the horse.

Big Boned: good thing horse has mane & tail or he would be mistaken for a cow.

Doing nice dressage tests: when tranqualized to the eyeballs & lunged 6 hrs straight beforehand.

Well Mannered: hasn't stepped on, bitten, or kicked anyone for a week.

Professionally Trained: hasn't stepped, bitten, or kicked anyone for a month.

To make 16 hands: currently 13h, dam is 14.3hh, sire is 15hh, every horse in pedigree back 18 generations is under 15h but this horse will definitely defy his DNA .

To Good Home Only: not really for sale unless you can 1) pay twice what he is worth, 2) allow current owner to tuck in beddy - bye every night, 3) are willing to sign a 10 page legal document.

Bold: runaway.

Athletic: He's a runaway, but he looks good doing it.

Needs intermediate Rider: runaway.

Dead Quiet: just dead.

No Vices: especially when he wears his muzzle

Has been seeen to crib-bite: we can't afford to build any more stables & fences for the him.

No Time For Him: he's lucky to be fed.

Excellent Disposition: never been out of his stable.

Bomb Proof: So dumb you could set off a bomb under his tail and he wouldn't blink.

Good Mother: She's too dumb to do anything else.

He Can Do It All: bite, kick, buck, rear...

Flashy: nice looking... forget about him being rideable.

Stunning: you'll be stunned at his kicking power.

Very Brave: even a whip can't force him back.

Slight Case Of Navicular: better buy him before he's too lame to walk .

Proven Sire: The mare we bred him to had a baby.

Lots of Potential: Under the right circumstances, you migh be able to ride him.

Great Bloodlines: He can't do anything, but that's okay because some horse 20 generations back did something.

Already Broken: two fences, one arm, six buckets.

Unregistered: probably stolen

Lady's Horse: Perfectly sweet with women, but will kill men.

Good Disposition: The only good thing about him



Selling Due to Retirement: he's making us old.

Anyone Can Ride: as long as they have the right protective gear, they might survive.

Smooth: you won't notice he's bucking until you're on the ground!

Event Prospect: Big, Fast Horse.

Dressage Prospect: Big, Slow Horse .

Hack Prospect: Pretty Color.

Sporting Prospect: Short, Fast Horse.

To Show Home Only: Very Expensive,

Quiet: Lame in Both Front Legs.

Dead Quiet: Lame in three Legs.

Good in Traffic (Bombproof): Lame all Round.

Pony Type: Small and Hairy.

Arab Type:Looks startled.

TB Type: Looks Terrified.

Warmblood Type: Big and Hairy.

Draught Type: Big and Exceedingly Hairy.

Easy to Catch: Very Old.

All Offers Considered: I am in Traction for 6 months.

Good Jumper prospect: Looks great jumping over the paddock fence, if you can ever catch him, you might just have yourself a great jumper!

AngelicRaindrop

where do ya get all these at all? lol