Too much to just throw away?

LegacyUser

Ok so this isn't exactly a life or death problem I know, just wondered if anyone had any advice.... Been with my bf for over 6 years now. We've had our ups and downs but on the whole it's been great and i've never doubted that i'd marry/grow old/have kids with him, etc... Thing is, I just don't know how I feel about him anymore - sometimes I just feel so bored and think it might be time to move on but then I think of our history and how it's a lot to throw away. Obviously I know I'm the only one who can decide this, but would I be acting too hastily if I did end it? In general I'm not a fickle person, I tend not to get bored of people and have had the same friends for years so I'm not sure why I feel like I do.
We've just been together so long and been through so much together that it's hard to imagine life without him. I'm also really unhappy with how our relationship is going at the moment and sometimes think that I'm confusing these feelings of dissatisfaction with the relationship in general with my feelings for him as a person. Work commitments have meant that we've had to have a long distance relationship for the past while and I'm finding this really hard to deal with - we hardly ever see each other anymore and I've adopted a kind of 'what's the point'? attitude. I feel that at this stage in our relationship we should at least be living together, as we did in the past, but while this is what we want it just isn't working out at the moment. Feels like everyone else we know is moving forward in their relationships - moving in together, getting engaged, having babies, etc. while we're still stuck in limbo - if not going backwards! Sometimes I feel like scrapping the whole thing and just starting afresh. It's a pity cos it's the only area of my life not going well at the moment and it's having such an adverse effect on my happiness. Any advice greatly appreciated, thanks.

CathyMoran

I think that a lot of couples go through that - in our case we split up for a while but eventually we realised that we were meant for each other and are happily married. I wish you all the best - the grass is not greener else where - I really missed my then ex bf when we were apart even though we were both dating other people!

One thing that I have learned is that a relationship requires a lot of work but you get far more out of it - try and make the most of the time you have together and there is always email.

I would not give up your bf but that is just me - only you can decide.

it doesnt sound like you should end it... i don't know much about relationships but from the way your writing, you seem like you would regret it so much.

LegacyUser

Relationships are hard. Me and my boyfriend have gone through a really rough few months, even talked about splitting up for good. While we both really considered ending it we thought how good things were before and figured this was just a really big bump in the road. After both trying to figure things out on our own we eventually started to talk and realised we both wanted it to work so we gave it another shot. When little things started to bother us we made sure we spoke about before it got out of control. Same thing if we thought something in the relationship wasn't satisfying us we talked and tried to work it out.

It's hard to think about ending a relationship when you've been together so long. If your willing to take another chance explain to him what it is that's bothering you. I'm sure if he realizes your unhappy he'll do everything he can to get things back on track. If it does work out you'll both be happy you gave it another shot. If it doesn't at least you'll have tried and you'll know it was just time for it to end.

She Devil

I don't think you want to end it, i think you want a bigger commitment!
Its normal, talk to him, don't throw it away!

LegacyUser

its a cliché but you will probably only know what you've had when its gone.

it sounds like perhaps because everything else in your life is going well and progressing (I assume by what you were saying that work is going well), you are starting to question one thing that maybe is not progressing. talk to him see how he feels. if he feels the same figure out what you want to do. maybe even suggest a break. my guess is that you'll realise how much you miss him and that you want to be with him.

dan_d

I had those exact feelings at the 3 year stage.We broke up briefly, then I realised that I was mad, and I didn't want anyone else, and we are back together 3 years now.Talk to him.It sounds like you want more, and you're tired of trying to do what you're doing when you want so much more.Don't break up with him, because you're right, it is a lot to throw away.It's will come right.Good luck!