Need help pleasuring my boyfriend

00_katie_00

My boyfriend & I have been together for nearly 2 years and in that time I have not made him cum or even got anywhere close apart from a few minutes of around 1/3 of his cock in my mouth.

I only had two previous partners before him & i was not taught anything so I just dont what to do.
Okay well i know the biology behind it & how a cock works etc but my boyfriend told me is he feeling sexually frustrated with me regarding the lack of blow jobs or non existant blow jobs in our relationship.

I want to please him & he said i should reserach on the internet but I wish he would teach me by example & the websites tell me to ask him to show me what to do with his cock cause he knows what he likes best anyway. Now a days whenever I go near his crotch he just kinda mocks me.. its hard to describe..

I am 21 years old & a very petite girl (4 foot 9) including a small mouth so much so that i havent been able to swallow pills all my life.
So i guess i just need your advice on how I can fulfill my boyfriends needs? and how I can learn this stuff? How can I get him to believe i do want to learn it from him? How can I get him interested in letting me do it?

I'd appreciate all advice no matter how small!

Thanks:)

Kimbot

Okay I will offer to teach you!!

Nobody can really help you out on this I think. Its different for each person and you should just try different things with him and see how he reacts to it.

Curvy Vixen

Sorry??!!??

This is something that a lot of women wouldn't do and a lot of men would die for....and he mocks you and refuses to teach you about what works for him? And you want us to tell you how to convince him to let you do it?

Tell him to take a hike in that department. It's not your job to beg him to let you do it!

If you are in a good relationship you will teach each other what you want. This doesn't sound so good to me I'm afraid!

nialo

Firstly he mocks you? either very immature of him or he doesnt respect you or that your trying.. mite be something you want to think about.. respect and being comfortable would make things easier for you to relax and to just experiment.. as for how you do it, best way is to practice! patience and have fun. dont get stressed about it or over think it. how would you suck a lolly pop...

Jimmy Bottlehead

In my experience, the sexiest thing a girl can do for a guy is show she's enthusiastic - that she wants him. Thats number one.

Next thing is to do some research on the 'net! It'll give you the basics. Once you know them, its practice practice and more practice! But if he wants it to improve, then he has to be willing to offer advice and share what he wants. Also, you only being able to take 1/3 of him into your mouth is fine... its mainly the 'head' of the penis that is where guys get their kicks

However the following:

Now a days whenever I go near his crotch he just kinda mocks me.. its hard to describe..

and

How can I get him interested in letting me do it?

are very odd... I (and almost any guy!) would LOVE to be 'experiemented' on in this way!

Is there any other underlying issue?

tbh

if your boyfriend is around the same age as you, I find it hard to picture what you're doing to him, because when I was 21, looking at me would make me come.

You don't have to have his cock in your mouth, you can use your tongue to lick and carress the head - I defy any man to last more than 20 seconds of that. Are you guys having sex/being intimate on a regular basis, or is it a case of what you are doing isn't working?

rainbowchild

00_katie_00 wrote: »

My boyfriend & I have been together for nearly 2 years and in that time I have not made him cum or even got anywhere close apart from a few minutes of around 1/3 of his cock in my mouth.

I only had two previous partners before him & i was not taught anything so I just dont what to do.
Okay well i know the biology behind it & how a cock works etc but my boyfriend told me is he feeling sexually frustrated with me regarding the lack of blow jobs or non existant blow jobs in our relationship.

I want to please him & he said i should reserach on the internet but I wish he would teach me by example & the websites tell me to ask him to show me what to do with his cock cause he knows what he likes best anyway. Now a days whenever I go near his crotch he just kinda mocks me.. its hard to describe..

I am 21 years old & a very petite girl (4 foot 9) including a small mouth so much so that i havent been able to swallow pills all my life.
So i guess i just need your advice on how I can fulfill my boyfriends needs? and how I can learn this stuff? How can I get him to believe i do want to learn it from him? How can I get him interested in letting me do it?

I'd appreciate all advice no matter how small!

Thanks:)

:eek: Wow...

I don't know anything about giving a blow job , but I sure know what I like! Think about it like this... how excited woud you want your boyfriend to be about going down on you? That's how excited you should feel about going down on him. If you're excited about it, so will he.

As far technique goes I know there is some instructional material at Ann Summers, give it a go. The thing about blow jobs is even when they're bad they're good... you know what I mean?

As far as this whole "fitting in my mouth" thing goes, you don't have to put it down your thoat if you can't... imagine putting a banana in your mouth; if you can do that you can give head.

The most important thing is to have fun enjoy sex.

podge79

agree with the above posters... mocking you? dont take that sh*t. fditch him and find some other guy who will treat you with respect and not as a mere sex object

00_katie_00

ummm underlying issue.... well once when I was trying to pleasure him my teeth kinda pressed against him & i tried to avoid it but couldnt as im only learning.... thats how crap i am at it i guess :rolleyes: *sighs*

Jimmy Bottlehead wrote: »

In my experience, the sexiest thing a girl can do for a guy is show she's enthusiastic - that she wants him. Thats number one.

Next thing is to do some research on the 'net! It'll give you the basics. Once you know them, its practice practice and more practice! But if he wants it to improve, then he has to be willing to offer advice and share what he wants. Also, you only being able to take 1/3 of him into your mouth is fine... its mainly the 'head' of the penis that is where guys get their kicks

However the following:



and



are very odd... I (and almost any guy!) would LOVE to be 'experiemented' on in this way!

Is there any other underlying issue?

rainbowchild

tbh wrote: »

if your boyfriend is around the same age as you, I find it hard to picture what you're doing to him, because when I was 21, looking at me would make me come.

You don't have to have his cock in your mouth, you can use your tongue to lick and carress the head - I defy any man to last more than 20 seconds of that. Are you guys having sex/being intimate on a regular basis, or is it a case of what you are doing isn't working?

Sorry, I have to disagree... me, myself, I need the real deal a lick here and there isn't gonna do it... it just frustrates me

rainbowchild

00_katie_00 wrote: »

ummm underlying issue.... well once when I was trying to pleasure him my teeth kinda pressed against him & i tried to avoid it but couldnt as im only learning.... thats how crap i am at it i guess :rolleyes: *sighs*

A little teeth is okay, too much teeth and OUCH.

rainbowchild

as far as the mocking goes, it's probably born out of frustration. Get a ball gag for your man.

ven0m

rainbowchild wrote: »

As far as this whole "fitting in my mouth" thing goes, you don't have to put it down your thoat if you can't...

Not true, I saw these video clips that showed otherwise & they were hawtttt


Seriously OP, oral sex is always a funny topic for discussion in relationships, maybe his 'mocking' is part of his own uncomfortableness in discussing it. I'd say try talking about it outside of a sexual setting, & see what happens.

I'd love to joke & saw 'suck it & see, & you'll be fine' - but I'll refrain, & instead say it's a common enough query 'how the hell do you learn to do it properly' - really always comes down to trying different things, an ex told me she watched porn & then adjusted based on the guys reactions ..... but either way plenty of stuff to read out there & videos you can get out there to help, so don't despair

Jimmy Bottlehead

tbh wrote: »

if your boyfriend is around the same age as you, I find it hard to picture what you're doing to him, because when I was 21, looking at me would make me come.

You don't have to have his cock in your mouth, you can use your tongue to lick and carress the head - I defy any man to last more than 20 seconds of that. Are you guys having sex/being intimate on a regular basis, or is it a case of what you are doing isn't working?

Not anymore. So many young guys feel under pressure to perform for long periods and make themselves pretty much unable to come. Sad but true.
Also I'd agree that your 20 second lick wouldn't do it for me either! :pac:

redfacedbear

Your boyfriend sounds like a total tool (no pun intended). To mock you for making an effort despite his unwillingness to to help you is shocking.

To be honest it sounds like he has about as much of a clue about how it's done as you.

Very few girls are able to overcome the gag reflex enough to deep-throat. If your mouth is able to accomodate the glans you should be able to give him a very pleasurable bj with practise and guidance, without having to take his entire shaft in.

If he expects deep-throating as the only form of oral sex then I suspect his only experience of bjs is from porn - or he has been very lucky with his exes!

ven0m

Jimmy Bottlehead wrote: »

Not anymore. So many young guys feel under pressure to perform for long periods and make themselves pretty much unable to come. Sad but true.

Actually, it's a common problem now referred to as retarded ejaculation, & it is increasingly common amongst men, & it usually arises from sexual performance anxiety, which is self created where modern men wrongly assume they need to perform like a porn star, & be loaded like a horse.

There was a recent enough sex therapist study that went through all this. I'll even be man enough to admit that I've been a bloke who had suffered with this until I sorted out my own esteem & self-image/body issues.

Karen_*

Katie why don't you ditch him and go out with someone who has some respect for you?

Sounds like he's treating you like an advanced blow up doll who is able to look up the internet to find ways to operate better. And if he can't come then he has either a bad reaction to medication or psychological issues. I'm guessing the latter. Your post is cringeworthy. You're worth more than this. I'm sure you're doing it right but you can't cure someone with massive issues and sexual disfunction by giving them a blow job.

There's a certain sex act he could perform on himself. Why don't you tell him to do that? Since his cock is so enormous it would probably reach.

StormWarrior

He doesn't like the blow jobs you give him, but he can't be bothered to show you what he wants and yet has the cheek to tell you he's getting frustrated with you? I wouldn't bother giving him any more. Surely you can find someone better than this? I mean, he's effectively got you begging to let you give him a blow job! That is not normal. Are any other aspects of your relationship like this? Sounds like maybe he's either controlling and trying to get you where he wants you, or if he's so "frustrated" with you and can't be bothered to show you what he wants, maybe he doesn't want to be with you any more?

00_katie_00

Karen_* wrote: »

Katie why don't you ditch him and go out with someone who has some respect for you?

Sounds like he's treating you like an advanced blow up doll who is able to look up the internet to find ways to operate better. And if he can't come then he has either a bad reaction to medication or psychological issues. I'm guessing the latter. Your post is cringeworthy. You're worth more than this.

While I thank you for your advice Karen, I also dont think you or anyone knows the ins & outs of the r/ship i have with my boyfriend.

Its very easy for you to tell me to throw away what i have because you dont have an emotional connection.

Karen_*

Thats very true Katie we don't know but going by what you've posted about him mocking you over his own sexual problem then I for one find that worrying. And its only out of concern for you and disgust for him based on your post that I would stand by what I said and find someone who has respect for you. It doesn't sound like he does but then again you do know better than I do what's going on.

ven0m

The issue with the OP's b/f is not a dumping offense in fairness & it's not like:

a. he beat her up
b. he abused her
c. cheated on her
d. expressed an illegal sexual preference
e. robbed her

People need to lay off the 'dump him' card in this post, & engage a modicum of restraint. There is a clearly a sexual issue between the OP & her S/O, which exhibits several hallmarks of discomfort in resolving, which is resolvable through frank open conversation, which will be the first steps in attempting any resolution of any problem stemming form 'bedroom actvity'.

So, engage the brains people & provide helpful feedback to the young lady, instead of knee jerk childish over-reactions. People are dump happy & think life is like a reality game show with a panel & 'voting people out'.

Marksie

Ven0m: I didn't realise you had been moderator of this forum, leave the modding to teh mods, if you have an issue use the report post function

junior_apollo

Personally I find that although I love the experience of a blowjob I have only twice ever come by blowjob... I much prefer knowing the girl is also getting pleasure and enjoying it as much as I do.. bigger turn on or me...

But really he shouldnt be mocking you about this... he should be helping you out... The normal approach recommended by most people/sites is to use a hand to stroke with your mouth bobbing slightly on the top end (down to the ridge and back up) hand ridge and down...

Does he return the favour at all???

Beruthiel

jonny24ie wrote: »

Okay I will offer to teach you!!
.

Restrict comments like that to After Hours please.

katie wrote:

I wish he would teach me by example

Now a days whenever I go near his crotch he just kinda mocks me.. its hard to describe..

Those two comments tell me a lot about your b/f. He has an awful lot of growing up to do yet.

Sit down with him and explain calmly that the mocking is not helping, in fact all it does is show his immaturity and is a turn off.
Tell him that it is entirely up to him to show you what he wants done.
You are not a mind reader and all the googling in the world will not help when it comes down to a certain individual who has their own likes and dislikes.

ven0m

Marksie wrote: »

Ven0m: I didn't realise you had been moderator of this forum, leave the modding to teh mods, if you have an issue use the report post function

HOW was that modding - the number of ridiculous statements telling someone to dump their O.H. over a bedroom issue instead of giving any kind of proper advice (like I did) to the O.P. is hardly modd-ing. However - if you had an issue with my post, report it or PM me, it didn't constitute a thread-jacking attempt, especially since I was trying to give advice, especially over an issue I understand, & had a problem with personally (probably the same as a great deal many other male users of Boards.ie)

Marksie

00_katie_00 wrote: »

My boyfriend & I have been together for nearly 2 years and in that time I have not made him cum or even got anywhere close apart from a few minutes of around 1/3 of his cock in my mouth.

OK that is one issue, his inability to orgasm/ejaculate

00_katie_00 wrote: »

I only had two previous partners before him & i was not taught anything so I just dont what to do.
Okay well i know the biology behind it & how a cock works etc but my boyfriend told me is he feeling sexually frustrated with me regarding the lack of blow jobs or non existant blow jobs in our relationship.

Biology and pleaure are two different things, if noone has explained to you or shown you you will not know all the different zones and strokes that work.
You boyfriend is being somewhat boorish in his attitude

00_katie_00 wrote: »

I want to please him & he said i should reserach on the internet but I wish he would teach me by example & the websites tell me to ask him to show me what to do with his cock cause he knows what he likes best anyway. Now a days whenever I go near his crotch he just kinda mocks me.. its hard to describe..

Now this is where i have major issues with your boyfriend.
Effective communication in what works for an individual is essential, your approach is the open and correct one.
His mocking of you would be a reall no-no for me, the simple answer would be to say no, take up yoga and do it yourself.

00_katie_00 wrote: »

I am 21 years old & a very petite girl (4 foot 9) including a small mouth so much so that i havent been able to swallow pills all my life.
So i guess i just need your advice on how I can fulfill my boyfriends needs? and how I can learn this stuff? How can I get him to believe i do want to learn it from him? How can I get him interested in letting me do it?

I'd appreciate all advice no matter how small!

Thanks:)

Now "deep throating " is fine in porn movies and i guess that is what you think he wants.
There are many ways of oral pleasuring which would involve just the yip and teasing and playing. You could also use the hand around the shaft to get a grip and move it.
However, while i may know many techniques..that is not the real issue.
Ther real issue is your boyfriends attitude, his lack of communication and his inability to realise that he should know and be open to exploring with you.
It is patently unfair and unnacceptable to mock someone when the person doing the mocking has no clue and you are more than willing to be doing this.

Further... he has issues in regards to the fact he cannot orgasm in any event..again this is a communication issue and he has fixed on the good old BJ as the only means around it.

It his his issue not yours and he needs to learn to be more mature, open and communicative

00_katie_00

ven0m wrote: »

HOW was that modding - the number of ridiculous statements telling someone to dump their O.H. over a bedroom issue instead of giving any kind of proper advice (like I did) to the O.P. is hardly modd-ing. However - if you had an issue with my post, report it or PM me, it didn't constitute a thread-jacking attempt, especially since I was trying to give advice, especially over an issue I understand, & had a problem with personally (probably the same as a great deal many other male users of Boards.ie)

I would like to say I have found venoms advice useful & dont believe he was trying to cause any trouble. I am looking for a solution to my issue but not a final decision such as breaking up, if you know what i mean? And venom understood that, as did Beruthiel, so thank you all

Marksie

Ven0m: infracted arguing with a mod in thread

RosieJoe

Google is your friend, try any of these

Linky

ven0m

Marksie wrote: »

Ven0m: infracted arguing with a mod in thread

fine, I'll co-report - especially since the OP found my advice useful. :-D

00_katie_00

Marksie wrote: »

His mocking of you would be a reall no-no for me, the simple answer would be to say no, take up yoga and do it yourself.

funniest post ever hehehehe thanks Marksie! I will defo use that tonight!

StormWarrior

Katie, have you asked your boyfriend why he won't help to teach you what he wants? If he won't offer any other help than "google it" it's a bit rich of him to say he's getting frustrated with you.

LegacyUser

IMHO Only porn starts and people with no gag reflexes can get the whole penis in their mouths. I've never been able to do this and have not had any complaints.

Try playing with the head of the penis in your mouth. Use your hand around the shaft as if you are giving a hnad-job, as well as providing stimulation here it also helps to control how much you are taking in your mouth. Allowing some saliva to trickle down every now and then helps provide lubricant here and stops any rubbing (a bottle of lube is also a wonderful thing, but doesn't taste that great).

You want to tease the tip and head of the penis, alternate licking and sucking and change pressure on the shaft with your hand.

Relax, play, enjoy it. If its not working on the day then come back to it another time when you are both in the mood to play and you have some time to experiment. If your boyfriend doesn't want to take the time to find out what feels good for both of you then its his loss. Its often hard to take that first step into being honest with each other and get over the embarrasment of saying what works and what doesn't.

Best of luck

Latchy

OP it's not easy to give head with as you say a ' samll mouth ' but you have a tongue and you dont have to cover the whole shaft of the penis ,just the head to give pleasure ( sorry if i am being to explict ) Having said that your boyfriend sounds a bit selfish in blaming you for his lack of cumming .Sitting down with an adult dvd together might go some way to helping you achieve what you both want .

unhappycamper

Sadly my x partner was unable to give a good blow-job and after going out with some great girls and getting serious head it is so disappointing when you get a bad blow-job. The best blow-jobs I have gotten usually occurred when the woman did this..

Placed 1/2 to 1/3 in her mouth
Created a oval shape with her mouth/lips
Tightly gripped me with her upper and bottom lip
Kept her teeth low and out of the pic
Push her mouth forward and backward on my foreskin with her lips gripped
(Last step is the most important!!)
Some but not too much tongue action
Masturbated me as she did so
Swallowed or spat doesn't matter bur swallowing is a nice touch to the guy's crazy ego


I think breathing through your nose is the trick


Best of luck!

Practice practice practice as they say!!

An Fear Aniar

Dump that loser, he's undermining your confidence.


.

Wibbs

Awful Scut Mk2 wrote: »

I've wanted to say this for some time, and I reckon it's worth getting banned for.

Right you are. For not taking it to feedback or pm's like it says in the charter and instead commenting off topic and on thread on a mod action take a week off.

Notorious

ven0m wrote: »

The issue with the OP's b/f is not a dumping offense in fairness & it's not like:

a. he beat her up
b. he abused her
c. cheated on her
d. expressed an illegal sexual preference
e. robbed her

People need to lay off the 'dump him' card in this post, & engage a modicum of restraint. There is a clearly a sexual issue between the OP & her S/O, which exhibits several hallmarks of discomfort in resolving, which is resolvable through frank open conversation, which will be the first steps in attempting any resolution of any problem stemming form 'bedroom actvity'.

So, engage the brains people & provide helpful feedback to the young lady, instead of knee jerk childish over-reactions. People are dump happy & think life is like a reality game show with a panel & 'voting people out'.

ven0m you're right life isn't like a reality game show, but if you have 'dumping offences' through relationships it makes them seem more like a game. Clearly the answer to the posters query isn't 'dump your b/f' so cool the jets.

I do think the OP's boyfriend is being a bit harsh mocking her over giving him head; how the heck could you guys get in the swing of things if hes cracking jokes while you're getting down to it? Anyway, I'd say just tell him you're going to go down on him and get him to tell you if he likes what your doing. Just do it by trial and error. Use some hand motions, some tongue... I'm sure you'll figure it out. Enjoy it!