How would Jesus vote?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 15-10-2008 10:06am #1

No idea if these belongs in politics or religion, so I'm doing the sensible thing and chucking it into AH.

Simple question:
If Jesus were alive today, would he be left or right, politically speaking?
Would he be a Liberal or a Conservative?
McCain or Obama?
Fianna Fail or... whatever the opposite of Fianna Fail is?

The floor is open.

dr.bollocko · 15-10-2008 10:08am

Probably Ralph Nader and the greens.
That omnipotent douche.

Turd Ferguson · 15-10-2008 10:10am

If Jesus was alive today I dont think he would vote, he'd probably be a politician or something...maybe McCain is Jesus?

Dave! · 15-10-2008 10:15am

He'd vote for Obama cos he's an Arab too

Dinter · 15-10-2008 10:16am

I doubt he'd vote at all. Sure he was the greatest political agitator of them all.

Darragh29 · 15-10-2008 10:20am

I imagine he'd urge you to vote in accordance with your own beliefs. I doubt he would endorse a candidate.

I doubt he would actually vote at all...

Matt. 7:1 "Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged!"

Voting for someone is really casting a judgement, so I suppose by his own words, he wouldn't have voted at all...

SEPT 23 1989 · 15-10-2008 10:28am

Hamas

Quazzie · 15-10-2008 10:31am

Wasn't Jesus a Sinn Fein supporter or has Gerry Adams been twisting Catholic beliefs for his own agenda again?

Prof.Badass · 15-10-2008 10:33am

well anyone who's even semi-familliar with the new testament knows that jesus was one of the biggest socialists going.

And with the whole "free will" thing he'd probably be more on the liberal side of things aswell.There's a huge difference between legally allowing certain behaviour and condoning it.

As usual, any person of virtue tends to have these characteristics.:)

Darragh29 wrote: »

I imagine he'd urge you to vote in accordance with your own beliefs. I doubt he would endorse a candidate.

+1

Turd Ferguson · 15-10-2008 10:35am

vinylmesh wrote: »

As usual, any person of virtue tends to have these charicteristics.:)

Dictionary...you needs it :pac:

Agamemnon · 15-10-2008 10:38am

Jesus would regard democracy as the work of the divil. God never has to run for re-election and if you disagree with him, he'll send you to hell to be raped with red-hot pokers for all eternity. Add in the fact that Jesus bate the shite out of the capitalist moneylenders in the temple and we come to the conclusion that he's a dictatorial Marxist. God is Stalin.

Darragh29 · 15-10-2008 10:40am

As his tormentor once said, "I hereby wash my hands of this thread"...!

:D:D

Marcus.Aurelius · 15-10-2008 10:42am

John 17:

14"I have given them Your word; and (AK)the world has hated them, because (AL)they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.

15"I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from (AM)the evil one.

16"(AN)They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.

I doubt he'd vote at all.

PurpleBerry · 15-10-2008 10:42am

... with his nose.

Just to be different.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 15-10-2008 10:44am

So. Jesus, the man whom most of America lives their life according to (or pretend to) is anti-democracy.

That or he's a terrorist...?

Smart Bug · 15-10-2008 10:50am

Well, he'd be a Born Again Christ, so far right I'd say...

Burial · 15-10-2008 10:51am

I think he'd be conservative. Unless he doesn't like the world as it is, then he'd be liberal.

hal9000 · 15-10-2008 11:31am

he would vote for yor MA!

upmeath · 15-10-2008 11:42am

He'd be a Conservative. Maybe if Jesus were a liberal all the Bible-bashing far-right the world over would come flocking towards the left and we'd have a much more socialist centrism, no left or right just a big cluster around Jesus in the middle, 'cos He's the sh!t :rolleyes:

Havermeyer · 15-10-2008 12:42pm

He'd probably do that magic trick that he did with the loaves of bread and the fish, and break up his ballot slip so he could give out one vote per candidate.

Sharing is caring.

Jack Sheehan · 15-10-2008 12:46pm

I think we need to refer to Matthew 5 13 for this:

'And Jesus spake unto his disciplIes and said: 'That Palin is a total milf eh? I like to have her lipstick on my pitbull!'

Cookie_Monster · 15-10-2008 2:19pm

Jesus would vote for Chuck Norris, always.

earlyevening · 15-10-2008 2:21pm

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Probably Ralph Nader and the greens.
That omnipotent douche.

I doubt it. The greens are pro choice. Perhaps the Christian Solidarity Party?

Cookie_Monster · 15-10-2008 4:09pm

The Judean People's Front
or
The People's Front of Judea
or maybe
The Judean Popular People's Front

Dragan · 15-10-2008 4:12pm

earlyevening wrote: »

I doubt it. The greens are pro choice. Perhaps the Christian Solidarity Party?

We have no way of knowing Jesus' stance on abortion.

There are more than a few years of his antics missing from the bible, for all we know he was knocking chicks up and punching stomachs upon hearing the P word.

Galvasean · 15-10-2008 4:39pm

Jesus votes for no one.
We'd all vote for Jesus

assuming he's real

earlyevening · 15-10-2008 5:13pm

Dragan wrote: »

We have no way of knowing Jesus' stance on abortion.

There are more than a few years of his antics missing from the bible, for all we know he was knocking chicks up and punching stomachs upon hearing the P word.

Send an oul email to the Pope. Isn't he God's rep on Earth. Perhaps he'd know.

Kold · 15-10-2008 5:16pm

If Jesus were alive, it'd be who would we vote for; Obama or Jesus?

And if we had any brains at all we'd vote Obama.

shenanigans1982 · 15-10-2008 5:24pm

Since he would claim to love everyone he would put his hand across his eyes and claim to let God direct him. Truth is he has a hole in his hand and can see exactly what he is doing....and since he was followed around by twelve Old Testament hippies he would probably vote for the Greens.