not sure/want to check in to facility

seeyouinheaven

Hi.

I have thought about how I can possibly find a way in to a mental health facility where I can just take a break from life? I would like just to be left alone for a while. And to not have to be anywhere or say things.

This might sound a little off. But I haven't stopped going and going for the past six months and I'm feeling very burned out. As if i'm running away from something and can't stop or it'll get me and drag me down. I started drinking a fair amount but then stopped, realising I didn't have it in me to become a drunk, and I didn't want to start down that road either.

A lot has happened this year. My brother died. I left college for a year to sort my head. Things seem very paused now. I feel there are things I should be doing. But I don't know what it is. I've been thinking about this for a very long time.

I began to criticize myself a lot and wonder what was missing in my life and have been doing so the last few months. I'm not sure how to be thinking. I walk down the road and see my reflection in the mirror image of a shop window and i'm biting my nails, shoulders hunched up and looking like i just saw something terrible.

I get told I need to relax more and that I shouldn't worry so much. But everything seems to be falling from my reach. I lost touch with all of my friends. I have become very negative and unsure of myself. I'm not sure how to be thinking.

I want to change this, join a club, I asked around at work about tennis and basketball clubs but they just all seem to be drones by now,living for the weekend, not involved in much other than their marriages and kids... I don't have any of that and am too young to be even thinking on those terms.
I don't know what to do.
I'm so very confused.

If anyone can set me somehow in the right direction please feel free to direct me.

MagicMarker

As cliche as it sounds, the best break from life you can get is to travel. Go somewhere, anywhere, for a month, or a year, however long you deem necessary.

girl2

I would agree with the fact that you need to become removed from life as it is, but I dont know if a mental institution is the place for you.

Would you consider going and doing some volunteering work for a few months? It might put life in perspective bit??

I dont know how to go about it, but I am sure you would be able to find out some information online. I know a few people who have done this and have thoroughly enjoyed the time out from their normal life and it has changed them.

Just a suggestion.

Craft25

get a bag, pack it and just walk off... come back when you feel ready

ask your job if they can keep your position open for a while on bereavement grounds

LegacyUser

I have been through what has happened to you ie my brother died at 40 and there was only 2 of us in the family. I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you go for some sort of Councelling .
I was very much in a negative mode and a friend recommend seeing somebody ( a councillor ) and I benefitted 100 % and I have not looked back since

Redpunto

The very first place you should go is your GP and see what they recommend, travelling is fantastic for a fresh perspective on life but if there are issues there you may need help with dealing with them first,,,,, and not be on the other side of the world having a meltdown.

city girl

OP, definitely get some bereavement counselling or attend a bereavement group. You are still grieving; anger, anxiety, depression, confusion and conflicting emotions are all par for the course at the moment. Dont travel just yet, get yourself strong again first.

theTinker

My meditation teacher just took a 3 week break from his life as a meditation 'retreat'.

It basically involved him taking a small bit of cash from savings he had, and renting a cabin in the middle of nowhere for a couple months. Only once a week to stop down to a small store for fresh food etc.

I think something like that would be wonderful for you. Try it for a couple weeks, you can extend it or shorten it for as long as you like. Nobody will intrude on you without you personally allowing them access. Sound like you still have grieving to do. Tell people that you are going on a meditation retreat where solitude is a big part of it.
That will hush their curiosities about phones calls etc. I'd prolly even forget my mobile and just ring from a pay phone whenever YOU choose to.
Some place nice in the woods, beside a lake, sounds so relaxing already. Bring some books and just get yourself refreshed and centered.

If at the end of the couple weeks etc, you still feel like nothing is changing in you. Then it could be a bit more than burnout and you might need a bit of talking chit chatting therapy to flesh out the rest of the problems.

Bottle_of_Smoke

I'd agree with travel but talk to a professional first. You don't want a break down in a hostel in a foreign country.

I think you should "say things", even here but better to a counsellor. Once you go you'll realise there's no need for a stigma.

They won't force you to talk, you've nothing to lose

seeyouinheaven

Hi guys thank you for the replies. Going to go to my GP on Saturday when I'm off. Going to try sort myself out.

Would go away but I've nothing to support me when I get back. Don't have finances on my side and I had to spend my savings for personal expenses whilst I was unemployed.

Thanks a million for the support. Going to get this done.

sam34

as a psychiatrist, i can say that from what ive read thus far, i wouldnt admit u to my unit. theres no evidence of major mental illness requiring hospitalisation. sounds like u need a break all right, but not in a psych unit.just cause u cant afford a holiday doesnt mean u should use the health services unnecessarily

sunnyside

sam34 wrote: »

as a psychiatrist, i can say that from what ive read thus far, i wouldnt admit u to my unit. theres no evidence of major mental illness requiring hospitalisation. sounds like u need a break all right, but not in a psych unit.just cause u cant afford a holiday doesnt mean u should use the health services unnecessarily

That's exactly the sort of attitude that makes people moan about the mental health services. I'm not disagreeing with your professional opinion that he doesn't need a bed in a psychiatric unit but he's clearly suffering from mental distress and in need of help from somewhere.

If someone asks a medical professional for help "you don't need medical help and are using the health services unnecessarily" isn't a very good response. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help.

sam34

what im saying is that teh psychiatric services are already seriously stretched and underfunded. we simply do not ahve the luxury (anywhere i have ever worked anyway) of admitting people who just need a break but cant/wont pay for a holiday/retreat. beds in psychiatric inpatient units are for people with serious mental illnesses, im talking schizophrenia/bipolar/major depression, not someone who has had a rough time and needs some tlc.

the op may well need help and support, and that can indeed come from the psych services, but it does not ahve to be in the form of admission. theres nothing wrong with asking for help, but demanding a specific form of help, without knowing if it is appropriate for you, is not right and is an abuse of teh health service.

from my reading of it, the op is essentially looking for someplace like the priory, without the cost. that aint gonna happen in ireland anyway

seeyouinheaven

Hi again,

I'm not going to my GP to ask for admission. Though I thought the night that I wrote the first post that I might need it because I was in a very bad place in my mind and could not seem to shake it off with any of the ways that used to help (I usually when am down take a walk, go for a run, listen to music or read to distract myself) I was frantic that nothing I seemed to do would lift me up and help me to see more clearly.

I do need a break.

A holiday I am considering currently.

I didn't mean to offend by saying I wanted to abuse the healthcare system, I do know that there are people out there so much worse off than me. I just wanted to know if it were possible to go someplace where I'd be able to have some form of serenity and prevent myself from getting further into the way I have been feeling.

I'll find a solution.

Thank you again for the responses.

stillmiserable

OP, you certainly did not give the impression that you wanted to abuse the medical system, and a psychiatrist should know better that to insinuate that you were. I did not see a 'demand' for government support through the mental health support system, and a psychiatrist should have more sensitivity to the difficulties you are going through. You could definitely get support through therapy and you may well be depressed, or may well just need a break with time to reflect and forward plan. Take a break, a holiday, and come back and speak to your GP about referring you to a psychologist or psychiatrist who is recommended, and will treat you with the compassion and sensitivty that you need.

beth-lou

stillmiserable wrote: »

OP, you certainly did not give the impression that you wanted to abuse the medical system, and a psychiatrist should know better that to insinuate that you were. I did not see a 'demand' for government support through the mental health support system, and a psychiatrist should have more sensitivity to the difficulties you are going through. You could definitely get support through therapy and you may well be depressed, or may well just need a break with time to reflect and forward plan. Take a break, a holiday, and come back and speak to your GP about referring you to a psychologist or psychiatrist who is recommended, and will treat you with the compassion and sensitivty that you need.

+1.

I find it quite disturbing that a psychiatrist doesn't have the ability to read the problem as it is presented and instead jumps to the wrong conclusion. It would have been better had they recommended other avenues instead of taking a defensive stance on the whole health services issue. Here we have a person who is suffering from the loss of a brother and by the sounds of things is depressed and down. A professional should be able to offer some sort of useful advise. It is worrying that this is the type of person we trust to help those with mental illness.

OP, I too have lost a brother. It is terribly sad and it can be hard. I think you should talk to a bereavement counsellor or someone similar who is equipped to deal with people in your situation. I don't think that you should head off travelling just yet. It sounds as though you have lost direction.

Why not try to pick up the pieces and one by one put them back together. Would you consider a return to college? This will give you a focus and will occupy your mind. I know it is too late to go back this year, but aim for next year. Find a good counsellor and go to them, talk about how you feel and let them help you to help yourself. Plan a trip away to somewhere you would love to see, stay in work and save for it. Ring at least one of your friends and tell them the truth about what's going on and why you've lost touch. You might be surprised at their reaction. They probably miss you too but don't know how to reach out.

I know it seems as though you are in a very dark place right now and if you put all of those issues together they seem huge. But if you tackle one at a time, they will be much smaller and when you deal with one you can move on to the the next and you will regain a sense of control over your life.

All the best. Big hugs. It does get better. x

sam34

stillmiserable wrote: »

I did not see a 'demand' for government support through the mental health support system

did you see the first line of the op's post where he/she said they are trying to find a way into a mental health facility??

sam34

beth-lou wrote: »

+1.

I find it quite disturbing that a psychiatrist doesn't have the ability to read the problem as it is presented and instead jumps to the wrong conclusion. It would have been better had they recommended other avenues instead of taking a defensive stance on the whole health services issue. Here we have a person who is suffering from the loss of a brother and by the sounds of things is depressed and down. A professional should be able to offer some sort of useful advise. It is worrying that this is the type of person we trust to help those with mental illness.

i did read the problem,and based on the info provided, i saw nothing to indicate a psychiatric illness requiring admission to a psychiatric unit.

the op wants a place of "serenity" where they wont have to talk to anyone. that is not what a psych unit is, it is a far cry from it, in fact.

auxillary services may well be able to help the op, but i really dont see that admission is the answer.

di11on

This might seem utterly pedandtic, but the Professional Psychiatrist's lack of capitals, punctuation and fully formed words does nothing for his credibility.

It didn't sound to me like the OP wanted to abuse anything but was simply looking to do something for himself and get himself to a better place.

Fair play OP - best of luck and well done for taking charge of the situation and doing something about it. With your positive proactive attitude so far, you have nothing to fear for the long run.

Best of luck.

Mr Benevolent

the op wants a place of "serenity" where they wont have to talk to anyone. that is not what a psych unit is, it is a far cry from it, in fact.

+1

Public psychiatric hospitals are nasty, underfunded places. Everyone lives together and sleeps together, and I suspect few of the posters here realise the realities. It's not a place for serenity and contemplation.

OP, get yourself some private health insurance and check into St. Edmundsbury's or similar. Don't abuse an already overworked public system. Besides, you don't sound like you have a psychiatric problem. The government are not in the habit of providing shelter for people with no medical or psychiatric issues. Just go on holiday or travel.

skapegoat

Confab wrote: »

+1

Public psychiatric hospitals are nasty, underfunded places. Everyone lives together and sleeps together, and I suspect few of the posters here realise the realities. It's not a place for serenity and contemplation.

OP, get yourself some private health insurance and check into St. Edmundsbury's or similar. Don't abuse an already overworked public system. Besides, you don't sound like you have a psychiatric problem. The government are not in the habit of providing shelter for people with no medical or psychiatric issues. Just go on holiday or travel.

Ok, I agree that Mental Health (Its not PC to say psychiatric to close to psycho and therefore has stigma attached) is underfunded, nasty maybe the wrong word.
Few people do relise the realities alright.
Its not all clean and nice like the American movies make it out to be.

Private health insurance is a good thing for anyone to have just in case, but buying this expensive insurance will first of all do you no immidiate good as you can not claim for 6months from when you join up, and 5 years on any diagnosed problem.
Also getting insurance at easily 500e a year just to admit yourself into a private mental health hospital is not a good idea.(I am not aiming this at the original writer I am rather showing holes in peoples ideas for you)
First off not all private hospitals are nice, you may not like it and that 500e could have been spent on a well deserved holiday.
Secondly, people can find themselves getting addicted to the system, this includes medication, attention, procedures, councilling and not having to lift a finger or even make your own bed.....that does not sound like a funfilled life to me.

On the Psychiatrist bashing of Sam, I am going to have to defend Sam.
If you want some empathy go to a councilar or a psychologist, your Gp could put you in the right direction or they could tell you life is tough or even worse they may think you are seeking medication.
But they are the first step for help so be honest with them.
Psychiatrists deal with alot and have to be thick skinned, Sam was mearly pointing out that on the basis of what Sam had read was you are not suffering from a mental health illness therefore under the 2001 mental health act he/she would not be able to admit you.

Now to your own problems, everyone goes through tough times and it effects each individual differently.
You have taken the first steps by admiting the problem and seeking advice.
Some of the above suggestions are great, go travelling for instance, I reccomend interailing when you get the money together, go with no plan just head places that people tell you are good who have been there.

Voulenteering or a club, sport or society is great to keep you active and make friends.
Its genneraly cheap and chearfull too, find something you like.

Now if your GP gives you medication, remember this, Anti depresants and anti anxiolitic medications are for short term use.
Take them with the idea that they are a stepping stone to where you want to go in life.
They will help you get up and going but you ultimatley need to stand on your own two feet.


Bereavment counciling may help, look into that.
Also depending on your Brothers death you could get involved in something to help others.
you mentioned you run, do a charity run for a cause like cancer or whatever is closest to you.
If its still too raw i would wait a while before you get involved.

Your user name distresses me, do not become a statistic.

I hope this helps, I dont do pm's (for the record)

But remember, some place, some time, all things will be fine.

LegacyUser

I have read the discussion posted in this thread, and I am most concerned that a writer, who claims to be a Psychiatrist, responds in a castigating tone to a poster who is vulnerable and reaching out for help and seeking advice.

The point has been made multiple times that the public inpatient mental health system is underfunded. This is not disputed. It is not necessary for the OP to be told off for not knowing where to turn when s/he is making references to feelings of extreme grief, social withdrawal and a sense of panic and despair.

In my capacity as a GP, if a patient came into my rooms and said I think I need Diabetes Medication because I think I am diabetic, as the provider of health care, it is my role to redirect them, take a step back, assess if the person truly is diabetic or pre-diabetic and make the appropriate recommendation from there. I would never say to them “you are trying to abuse the medical system by taking expensive drugs that you don’t need”. I don’t expect the patient to have the assessment skills to know what to do, and neither would a competent psychiatrist. I certainly would not have made conclusions about a person’s mental health from one paragraph on a forum, and then proceed to tell them off.

LegacyUser

Don't institutionalise yourself. If you need a break and to be alone, rent a cottage in the west of Ireland or something.
Mental institutions are not nice places. I saw what they did to my brother. He was merely someone who was very shy and anxious about life before going in. They said that inside was the best place for him and they would counsel him through all his worries. Instead they pumped him full of one drug or another. When I noticed serious behavioural changes in him they said that it had to get worse before it got better and they were the experts and it was definitely the right course of drugs for him. He became very aggressive, violent and completely irrational. Still they insisted they knew what they were doing. Then a bit later they said ok, maybe they weren't the right drugs but they had some different ones which were going to be fine for him. These ones made him completely listless and devoid of any emotion or energy whatsoever. He was essentially zombified.
They gave him little to no counselling - a few minutes once a week was about it. Now they have him on drugs for life, and he is far worse off than if he had never gone near them. He has been told that he cannot ever stop taking those drugs or he will be worse than he ever was and that he is not able to live a normal life without taking these drugs.

Also, these places are full of criminals and people with serious drug problems. Many are violent and are there because the prison service doesn't know what to do with them. You won't be left alone if you go in there. You will share a room with at least one other person and the only place to hang out is in the common room where all the other inmates are, smoking away and staring at the tv screen endlessly. You may not be let outside for a walk, even accompanied, and you may not even be allowed out of your ward. You will be constantly worried for your personal safety too because of the type of people who are in there with you. You will be effectively incarcerating yourself, and giving yourself the stigma of having been in a mental instituion. Sure that's not politically correct and doubtless most of what I have said is not, but I know it to be true. My brother has got so many holes in his CV now and he has had to invent a past for himself to disguise the fact that he has been institutionalised. People may think that it shouldn't or doesn't matter to anyone, but it does. It matters to him too. It is another thing that he has to worry about now and contributes to his lack of self confidence.

All this happened over the last few years, in Dublin. So it's not a story from some bygone time when we didn't have modern medicine and "science" and "technology" and all that.

sam34

Don't wrote: »

Also, these places are full of criminals and people with serious drug problems. Many are violent and are there because the prison service doesn't know what to do with them.

You won't be left alone if you go in there. You will share a room with at least one other person and the only place to hang out is in the common room where all the other inmates are, smoking away and staring at the tv screen endlessly.

your first point is a bit misleading.

yes, there can be criminals in a psychiatric unit, and drug users/addicts.

walk onto any ward in any public hospital, be it cardiology, general medical, surgical, whatever, and you will find criminals and drug addicts. a psychiatric ward is no different.

a certain percentage of psychiatric patients will commit crimes related to their mental illness, thats a given. however, that percentage is very small. the other people with psychiatric illnesses that commit crimes, do so for whatever reason non-psychiatric patients commit crimes.

with the first group, the crimes tend to be pretty major ones like homicide, caused by paranoid psychotic symptoms. these patients, by and large, are treated in the central mental hospital, Dundrum.

for the second group, that commit crimes for reasons unrelated to mental illness, well they are dealt with by the criminal justice system and receive sentences/judgements passed down by the courts. the courts cannot direct someone to be admitted to a general psychiatric unit. they can direct that someone receive psychiatric treatment, but they cannot specify what that treatment is. some of these people end up in regular prisons and receive psychiatric treatment in there for whatever psych illness they have coincidentally.

i digressed there a bit, but my point was that the psychiatric wards are not full of criminals that the prison service "doesnt know what to do with". the psychiatric services are not used as alternatives to prisons or as overflow facilities. criminals do not get sent to psych wards as the soft option.

with regard to drug addicts, they get psychiatric problems as a consequence of the addiction, that sometimes require admission. they also may be admitted for a detox. so, yes, tehre will be people with drug problems on a psych ward. however, you'll also find them in the renal unit, in teh liver ward, in teh infectious diseases ward, cardiac ward etc etc etc

your point about the ward not being private, i agree totally. a psychiatric ward is quite the opposite of what the op in this thread has said they are looking for. it is a busy, noisy place. sometimes extremely noisy and there can be a lot of disruption, especially if there are a few very disturbed patients there. it most certainly is not some sort of idyllic retreat/health farm/zen-like spa.

cute_cow

Firstly, am very sorry to hear your situation. But at least you are searching for help.

Not sure if this would interest you, but places like Glenstal Abbey in Limerick have day, week and longer retreats. Might not be an idea for you if you are not spiritual, or religious, but I was there recently and at 6pm they have a Vespers, sung latin mass, and it was so peaceful and quiet.

Might be worth thinking about.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I am glad that you wrote about how you are feeling. I have gone through a lot of what you are feeling now, and I think that if you get it out, or acknowledge the feelings that you are having you are one step closer to feeling better.

I went through the exact same thing where I was feeling so burned out and so stressed, I wanted to run away, pack my bags and hide in the hills.

Unfortunately commitments I had at the time didn't allow me to do that. But what I did do, was I looked at all of the demands I had on my time: work, family, friends, and other commitments and I said "OK, something has to give because I have to stop running and be able to slow down and just walk here for a minute". I was heading for a nervous breakdown through family problems, work problems etc.

What I did do was I cut out all of the un-necessary demands on my time, right down to the bare essentials: work, eat, sleep etc. and I thought of the things that I would LIKE to incorporate into my day to day schedules - What would make you happy? Would you like more time for reading? Writing or listening to music etc? Because sometimes when we are so busy the things that make us happy, get shut out of our lives.

I do not think that you need to go to a residential phyciatric (sp?) facility. However, I think it would be a good idea if you had a chat with a GP/councellor/friend about the low feelings that you are having. You may have a mild depression. Also, excercise is a great stress buster, but also helps you feel happier by releasing endorphins - maybe try to incorporate some high energy work out in to your day-to-day life.

But the last thing I would like to say is: hang in there, it will get better, please find someone you can talk to and there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

Take care **hugs**

MsFifers

There are a few retreat-type centres in Ireland - it sounds like you are looking for something like that rather than taking a holiday or going to hospital.

Here are a couple:
http://www.chrysalis.ie/Hermitages.php
http://www.passaddhi.com/

And this is a yoga one - which might be good for you as you would learn how to slow down and hopefully feel a bit more peaceful.

http://www.infohub.com/Lodgings/lodging_pages/2660.html

If you are going away on your own, make sure to set up some support for yourself. Now that you are ready to face the turmoil you have been running from the last year, you might find yourself feeling worse before you feel better. Just let someone know if you are going away and when you will be back, and as other people have recommended, look into getting some counselling or someone to listen to you.

ellie1

I know what if feels like to want to run and hide from the world. Or to feel feelings that are so overwelming that you think you cannot deal with the world. I remember saying to friends "i wish i could just check myself in somewhere". i was never saying it to take advantage of health facilities or get a free holiday or a break. I was saying it because i genuinely thought i was going to break down with stress and emotions that i just couldnt cope with. Sometimes, I still want to run away and a hide and escape from my realty. Sometimes our realitys are so painful that we think its the best solution. So i went to counselling and i am feeling much more able to cope with whatever comes my way. I see your taking the steps to do that and that is great. You have strenght to heal fix help (or whatever we like to call it) yourself. Dont give yourself a hard time, you have choices and your going get there.

On another note, I felt quite angry at what i precieved to be a very clinical and cold response to somebodys cry for help. I found a lack or warmth, empthy and understanding in some peoples responses. And i am glad i never got to a stage where i would of had to be in contact with that.

hope all goes well for you and best of luck.

John Mason

there is a place in Wales, i think who do a three week instensive meditation class, you are not allowed speak for the duration of the course. It is free to do but they ask for a donation.

Do it