A kiss

LegacyUser

Hi.
So a little background. Married and going through some problems but working through them in concelling. So my wife goes out with some friends for the night. I later find out they went to a nightclub, I thought they were just having a few drinks in the house.
A few days later I hear "something" happened on the night out.
My wife admits someone kissed her. She says she was standing there and her friends send a guy over to her because she has a tounge piercing. When he asked to see it and she stuck her tounge out he kissed her.it
She said she then pushed him off.

That was a few weeks ago and I am finding it hard to believe. Am I being stupid believing such a story. I know a kiss happened but I don't think it happened in that way.
So do people thing this is just story I'm being told. Should I just move on and forget this.

Carrigart Exile

Notsure wrote: »

Hi.
So a little background. Married and going through some problems but working through them in concelling. So my wife goes out with some friends for the night. I later find out they went to a nightclub, I thought they were just having a few drinks in the house.
A few days later I hear "something" happened on the night out.
My wife admits someone kissed her. She says she was standing there and her friends send a guy over to her because she has a tounge piercing. When he asked to see it and she stuck her tounge out he kissed her.it
She said she then pushed him off.

That was a few weeks ago and I am finding it hard to believe. Am I being stupid believing such a story. I know a kiss happened but I don't think it happened in that way.
So do people thing this is just story I'm being told. Should I just move on and forget this.

from whom are you hearing these stories and what is their motivation for telling you?

LegacyUser

Carrigart Exile wrote: »

from whom are you hearing these stories and what is their motivation for telling you?

I read a text on her phone which said " I feel like I should tell him because I feel guilty"
When I confronted her then the story came out.

Marksie

Why were you reading her text messages?

If she told you this and you don't believe her, why don't you believe her?

the glass woman

There's a very obvious lack of trust there, OP, if you feel the need to read her texts and if you don't believe her explanation. I think until you resolve these trust issues you're not likely to believe any explanation she gives, unless perhaps it confirms the one you already have formed in your head. Why don't you trust her? Has she given you reason not to trust her in the past?

TheZohanS

If yourwife said she kissed someone then it was a proper kiss and not just some randomer sleazing on her. If she stopped him then she wouldn't refer to it as a kiss or say that she kissed someone.

Either way if she told you it's not all bad, at least she did tell you and her text message did say that she felt guilty.

A kiss is not the end of the world, given the situation she might just have been caught off guard.

When girls head out on a girly night out the vino flows and opportunists can take advantage.

drunkmonkey

Yea I think you should move on and forget about it, It's a Kiss probably the least harmfull thing that could happen......I woudn't dwell on it to much as that might upset her and she'd start to think your very jelous or controlling....

It's a kiss, take it for what it is and move on, take her out for a drink and laugh about it..

Zulu

Do you have kids? If not, leave her.

She kissed someone else. He didn't trip. Her tounge wasn't accidently hanging out. She's just trying to water down the fact.

Do you want your partner to kiss other people when you are going through a rough patchs? I'm guessing your answer is no. Leave her.

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Yea I think you should move on and forget about it

Sorry, what? They are supposed to be married.

It's a Kiss probably the least harmfull thing that could happen......

So because she could have shagged him, it's forgivable? You've missed the point entirly. Bravo.
She has broken whatever trust he had for her. The marrage is a shambles.

I woudn't dwell on it to much as that might upset her

Lord knows you wouldn't want to upset her.

and she'd start to think your very jelous or controlling....

She can think whatever she wants. She's out kissing other people - that we know of. What has she done that we don't know?

It's a kiss, take it for what it is

...an absolute brech of trust; a complete disregard for him and their marrage.

and move on

...without her.

take her out for a drink and laugh about it..

Are you insane?

Zulu

TheZohan wrote: »

When girls head out on a girly night out the vino flows and opportunists can take advantage.

And when you are marrind and in an adult relastionship you are supposed to behave like an adult and control yourself and your hormones.
It's a complete lack of respect for the OP and their marrage.

drunkmonkey

Zulu wrote: »

And when you are marrind and in an adult relastionship you are supposed to behave like an adult and control yourself and your hormones.
It's a complete lack of respect for the OP and their marrage.

It sounds like a little Kiss........OP don't eat yourself or your Mrs over this, your marrage shoud be able to survive this and a lot more....
At least you know about it and she feels sorry, there's a lot of guys out there that never find out until it's 2 late and the relationship in unsavable...

Chucky the tree

Zulu wrote: »

She kissed someone else. He didn't trip. Her tounge wasn't accidently hanging out. She's just trying to water down the fact.

How do you know?

TheZohanS

Zulu wrote: »

And when you are marrind and in an adult relastionship you are supposed to behave like an adult and control yourself and your hormones.
It's a complete lack of respect for the OP and their marrage.

So is leaving your wife just because some randomer kissed her.

He should not dump his wife just because someone took advantage of her when she stuck out her tongue to show someone her piercing.

That just doesn' make sense.

Overheal

is it really that hard to beleive that Ireland's nightclubs arent riddled with drunk perverse scumbags?

MagicMarker

The kiss wouldn't bother me as much as not telling me. If she was really innocent then why not tell you as soon as she got home?

Add this to the fact you're going through some problems and that you didn't know she was going to a nightclub and i think you have a major problem.

MJOR

Right firstly one of my bugbears is people going thru other peoples phones / emails.


Why did you feel the need? Anway I'd not be overly concerned but I can see why you'd be a bit put out. I'd explain to her very calmly that in this instance you can overlook it but really she ought to keep her tongue in her mouth in future to avoid such incidents.

Irelands nightsclubs are full of drunken chancers to be fair.

davyjose

drunkmonkey wrote: »

It's a kiss, take it for what it is and move on, take her out for a drink and laugh about it..

She thought it was serious enough to at least get freaked out and guilty about; why shouldn't the OP be allowed feel something?