Psalm 23 + 1

rocky25

The 23rd Channel (Psalm)

The TV is my shepherd, I shall not want.
It maketh me to lie down on the sofa;
It leadeth me away from faith;
It destroys my soul;
It leadeth me into the paths of sex and violence for the sponsors sake.
Yea, though I walk through the shadow of my Christian responsibilities,
there is no interruption, for the TV is with me;
its cables and remote control, they comfort me.
It prepareth a commercial for me in the presence of my worldliness.
It annointeth my head with humanism and consumerism; my coveting runneth over.
Surely, laziness and ignorance shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house, just watching TV all the time.

~~~~~~~~~~

I know I haven’t known you very long and I shouldn’t be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly.

I haven’t had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft.

If you would do this for me no one would ever know.

I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I’d be very grateful if you would.

I am very desperate and I need your help.

You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it’s very dry.

I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so...





Do you have a piece of gum?

GAAman

The first one was sacreligiously good

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Yay to the first one!

dh0661

Guys - please remember that there is at least one female present (as in here with you) not somthing in a box wrapped up kinda present.
Aaaawww kcuf it !! I can take it.

Hagar

Here's something just for you...

Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
A: They all already have boyfriends.

Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A: Both of them.

Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A: A widow.

Q: Why did the man cross the road?
A: He heard the chicken was a slut.

Q: Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
A: Not enough time.

Q: How does a man prove his ability to plan for the future?
A: By buying a case of beer.

Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A: The bonds mature.

Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
A: So men can remember them.

Q: When do you care for a man’s company?
A: When he owns it.

Q: How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A: Put the remote control between his toes.

Q: What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A: They’re married.

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don’t know, it’s never happened.

Q: Why are married women heavier than single Women?
A: Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

dh0661

Hagar wrote: »

Here's something just for you...

I didn't come across that bad, did I ?
google/womens jokes for men might throw me some options .

Havermeyer

rocky25 wrote: »

The 23rd Channel (Psalm)

The TV is my shepherd, I shall not want.
It maketh me to lie down on the sofa;
It leadeth me away from faith;
It destroys my soul;
It leadeth me into the paths of sex and violence for the sponsors sake.
Yea, though I walk through the shadow of my Christian responsibilities,
there is no interruption, for the TV is with me;
its cables and remote control, they comfort me.
It prepareth a commercial for me in the presence of my worldliness.
It annointeth my head with humanism and consumerism; my coveting runneth over.
Surely, laziness and ignorance shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house, just watching TV all the time.

Amen to that.