Depressed in new job :(

LegacyUser

Hi, i've been doing contract work for a while now and it seems once i settle into one job and become happy with who i'm working with, i'm happy. But recently i was let go again and joined a bank and it's a contract with possibility of permenancy. Anyway, i cant seem to make any friends in this place. I was working in a multilingual company before and loved it so much because of the people i worked with. I never like the work if i can't make friends because lunchtime and breaks feels like agony and i just would rather work than try to meet new people. In this place, the people are totally different. We don't share anything in common and when i start to get to know someone, they don't seem bothered because they are already in their cliques.

I hang out with one group who keep making homophobic jokes and this is worse because i am gay. I don't openly discuss my sexuality but if asked, i will tell someone. Nobody ever really finds out though and it makes me feel uncomfortable when they discuss sexuality issues. There are other gay blokes in the office. They are very open about their sexuality.

Anyway, i don't know if this is an issue about sexuality but more to do with how i can't seem to fit in to any of the cliques. I really don't want to leave this job with the current climate and was really happy i found it but i don't know how long i can last in my current state. I am going to make more of an effort and it is only early stages so i guess i will try and avoid this group i'm in at the moment and try to meet other people who share common interests with me.

I just really hope it gets better soon as i'm just getting more depressed as each day goes by.

jaffa20

You definitely need to find another group of friends. It's never easy at first but good luck.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

They say you only start to settle into a new job after about 3 months, I would hold on a little while. It's harder finding jobs now, so keep it and search for another one. Oh and if you can stick it out for a year, then do. It will look great on your CV.

pookie82

I just started a new job too and for the first week or so I felt really nervous and out of my depth. It didn't help that in my last work place I'd been surrounded by a really sound bunch of people who i hated leaving, and the new office atmosphere I entered didn't seem as hospitable, or the people as friendly.

Now only a month in I love it. I've warmed to my colleagues who really opened up to me once we all got to know one another. At first i was worried that they were standoffish people but now I realise that they were just waiting to get to know me too.

Do you smoke by any chance? Crazy as it sounds, the way I cracked the ice with most of my new colleagues was when we were out for cigarettes! It puts you in a situation where you have to talk while you're both standing there and quite soon you're chatting inside too. If not then maybe if you're allowed ten min breaks now an again you could join them outside even if you're not smoking. It's always been a good way for me to break the ice with new people.

Also, I often find that going for a drink will make people bond far quicker than weeks in an office together. Maybe ask a few of them if they'd like to go for a pint some Friday evening or ask if they do it anyway at the weekends. Bad as it sounds, alcohol can be a good means of bringing people together at first. Just don't get pissed and make a fool of yourself.

Give it time yet and make an effort. Dont forget to smile and be helpful - it;s not just up to them to make the effort. Good luck.