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In the perfect, man's world

  • 07-10-2008 2:06pm
    #1
    Stabshauptmann
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,885 ✭✭✭


    In the perfect, man's world:

    Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."

    Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

    When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

    Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.

    Birth control would come in ale or lager.

    Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the football team of your choice.

    The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

    "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse.

    Tanks would be far easier to rent.

    Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

    Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"

    Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

    Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.


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