This is life

cson

I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I guess I just want to get down in words what I feel like right now. On Thursday evening a friend of mine fell down a stairs. They just turned off his life support machine about 30mins ago. Shane was only 19. I wasn't very close friends with him, but I went to school with him and he was in College in the same city as me. Shane was one of the most genuine people you could meet, full of life and he had time for everyone.

I'm finding it strange to think that someone out of my school year is gone already. We're only starting out in life. I remember being told in TY that some of us wouldn't make it past our twenties for some reason or another. At the time you just laugh it off and think you've so much to do yet. It's not until something like this affects you that you really take notice.

I know I'm guilty of it myself at times. We see so much death in the media that I think we've become desensitised to it and only realise the effect it has when it happens to someone close to us. There are stories of families torn apart everyday in the papers from crashes.

And what do you say? There are no answers for it, another tragic case of a young person dying before they should. I can't imagine what its going to be like to have to bury your child. The sad thing is he won't be the last either.

You just never know whats around the corner. So if you love someone; tell them. If you've old friends you've been meaning to contact, do it. If you've fallen out with friends, make it up. If today has taught me one thing, its that life is too short.

Go n-éirí an bóthar leat, Shane.

Dragan

Sorry to hear about your friend mate. At times like this it can be pretty easy to get down. You can start thinking about the obvious finite nature of life and that can really start to burrow deep down in side.

Well I have to say, life might be finite, but it sure as hell isn't futile. Bad things will happen, there is no way around that, but you just need to make sure there is enough good stuff to stack up against the bad when it rolls round.

From the sounds of it your mate Shane was a good lad and I reckon he more than likely brought a lot of happiness into the lives of the people who knew him. Did he had a short life? Yes, he did. But I bet you he had an impact on a lot of people in those 19 years.

That the key. You can't predict the day you go, but what you can do is make sure than no matter what day it is, the day before was worth living.

whiskeyman

Times like that are tough. It's hard to analyse life and death until it happens to someone close. And even then, thoughts can fade away and you get sucked back into routine.
It's hard sometimes not to take our lives for granted... some people with the troubles they have probably don't even feel they should.
I guess all we can do is try our best.

Hope you feel ok. Maybe go for a drink with a friend and have a good chat. Talking to someone at times like this is good, no matter how deep the topic is.

Mountjoy Mugger

whiskeyman wrote: »

Talking to someone at times like this is good, no matter how deep the topic is.

x 1000!!!

SarahJ

Mountjoy Mugger wrote: »

x 1000!!!

Definitely. I find coming on here a great help all the time, prob better than talking to someone.

AckwelFoley

I remember i went through a similar way of thinking a few years back when a friend of mine was killed by a drunk on the road.

I wondered whats the point of it all.

Think about it this way. Life is an expierence, you only really get one chance at it - unless you believe in reincarnation, which i dont, but you need to make the best of it.

Life is alot shorter than people realise.

Stheno

Cson

I'm very sorry to read of your loss, very best wishes to you, and Shane's friends and family at this awful time.

And I agree it's good to talk at times like these.

tbh

all the best cson.

Sangre

I know how you feel. I've been to way too many funerals for someone my age.

cson

Thanks for the replies guys.

I guess you only take notice of these things when they happen close to home. Not that you think it'll never happen to you, tragedy probably visits everyone at some stage of their lives, but its still a shock when it does.

FearDark

Cson is that the lad who was in first year construction studies in L.I.T? Fr. Fonzie emailed everyone today to pray for him... really struck me, this poor lad just starting Life, like this time last year I was starting the exact same course in the same college... I just dont know. Im sorry man.

Crash

Cson - I think a fair few of us know just how you feel. I was in bits for a long time when one of my best friends passed away at 19 - it just shocks your system to the core at that age to actually have to deal with the idea that you'll literally never see one of your peers again. Friends and time are the only healers here - take comfort in having both of them.

Yakult

cson wrote: »

I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I guess I just want to get down in words what I feel like right now. On Thursday evening a friend of mine fell down a stairs. They just turned off his life support machine about 30mins ago. Shane was only 19. I wasn't very close friends with him, but I went to school with him and he was in College in the same city as me. Shane was one of the most genuine people you could meet, full of life and he had time for everyone.

I'm finding it strange to think that someone out of my school year is gone already. We're only starting out in life. I remember being told in TY that some of us wouldn't make it past our twenties for some reason or another. At the time you just laugh it off and think you've so much to do yet. It's not until something like this affects you that you really take notice.

I know I'm guilty of it myself at times. We see so much death in the media that I think we've become desensitised to it and only realise the effect it has when it happens to someone close to us. There are stories of families torn apart everyday in the papers from crashes.

And what do you say? There are no answers for it, another tragic case of a young person dying before they should. I can't imagine what its going to be like to have to bury your child. The sad thing is he won't be the last either.

You just never know whats around the corner. So if you love someone; tell them. If you've old friends you've been meaning to contact, do it. If you've fallen out with friends, make it up. If today has taught me one thing, its that life is too short.

Go n-éirí an bóthar leat, Shane.

sorry to hear about your friend.

In the space of 6 months, I lost 2 good mates. One to suicide (17 years old) and one in a car accident (16 years old).
It has really had a bad affect on me. And I cant imagine how their families feel. I also lost my brother who was 18 in a motor cycle accident, I was 2 so I never got to know him and its really scary to know he was in the house I live in for so many years and I can even remember him or anything.
Like I would try to not think about it but at the back of my head its always there and depresses me. But I try to ignore it but it always creeps up. Since then I've made sure to always always make time for a friends even if I gotta go out of my way.

Life right now to me seems to be a very confusing game.:o

c - 13

Going Forward wrote: »

Cson - I think a fair few of us know just how you feel. I was in bits for a long time when one of my best friends passed away at 19 - it just shocks your system to the core at that age to actually have to deal with the idea that you'll literally never see one of your peers again. Friends and time are the only healers here - take comfort in having both of them.

Agreed.

Its tough man, when we finished school a friend of ours died in a really bad car crash that summer, she was on her own in the car and no other vehicle was involved so no one knows what really happened.

Its tough to deal with but it will come with time.

Best wishes to you and Shanes family man.

MJOR

It's such a tough time for you. At 29 I've seen it a few times. It's so important for you to talk to someone. Death rises so many emotions in us. I hope that his family will be ok. My prayers are with you all.

girl_friday

This was read at the funeral of a friend of mine over the summer...

"You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what he'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on."

Hope it helps. I know I've read ot 100s of times in the last while to give me strength!

I'll keep you and all connected with Shane in my prayers! Take care!

MayMay

So sad, and such a freak accident....all the best cson. Take care up there Shane.

dr.bollocko

Sorry to hear that man. Hope that you can work through this.

Oryx

People often say 'live today as if it was your last' and its taken to be a depressing thing. But its not. Its about realising what your post just said. If we knew today was the last day we would spend here, we would make it count. We'd tell all those we love how we feel. We wouldn't stress over the crowds on the pavement or the snarled traffic, we'd look at all it like it was a precious thing. We would realise how special every breath and moment here is.

Trouble is none of us do this. It takes the shock of someone like us dying without preparation or reason, to make us realise that tomorrow could be our own last day.

I have yet to lose someone really close to me, but I have lost friends suddenly, like Shane. It always seems so unfair, and random. There seems like there is no rhyme or reason to it. Just a hollow 'Why?'. All I can say to you, is what youve already said yourself. Appreciate your life, your friends, your family. We cant control death, so we need to keep reminding ourselves to make every day of life count.

My thoughts and prayers go to Shane, his family, his friends.