My Friend Fancies my Fella

LegacyUser

It's really obvious that my friend fancies my boyfriend. He doesn't take much notice of it but it makes me really uncomfortable. She is always saying how she would love to meet someone and I'm so lucky to have a boyfriend who is so good looking and so sound. That's fine to say once...but she says it practically every time I meet her. She has also made comments about his physical appearance. Comments like..."I'd love to have a really tall boyfriend...your boyfriend is the perfect height..." She makes a big smily effort to say hiiiiiiiii to him every time we are out together - flirtatious big smiles and body language (hugs) and the likes. I'm almost 100% that she has a crush on him.

No I want to avoid socialising with her because it makes me mad! Other than that, she is a sweet person and I don't think she realises that her behaviour is making me so annoyed. I'm aware she would really like a boyfriend but that doesn't mean she can eye up mine!

Now there's a party coming up and I'm dreading letting her know about it. I can be a quiet and shy person at times so having her jumping around in front of him and attention seeking is going to drive me insane.

Has anyone every had a similar issue with a friend?

STUBBORNGIRL

Miffy O'Squiff wrote: »

It's really obvious that my friend fancies my boyfriend. He doesn't take much notice of it but it makes me really uncomfortable. She is always saying how she would love to meet someone and I'm so lucky to have a boyfriend who is so good looking and so sound. That's fine to say once...but she says it practically every time I meet her. She has also made comments about his physical appearance. Comments like..."I'd love to have a really tall boyfriend...your boyfriend is the perfect height..." She makes a big smily effort to say hiiiiiiiii to him every time we are out together - flirtatious big smiles and body language (hugs) and the likes. I'm almost 100% that she has a crush on him.

No I want to avoid socialising with her because it makes me mad! Other than that, she is a sweet person and I don't think she realises that her behaviour is making me so annoyed. I'm aware she would really like a boyfriend but that doesn't mean she can eye up mine!

Now there's a party coming up and I'm dreading letting her know about it. I can be a quiet and shy person at times so having her jumping around in front of him and attention seeking is going to drive me insane.

Has anyone every had a similar issue with a friend?

What if this girl were someone other than your friend? what would you do then?

In my experience i havent had any of my friends fancy my boyfriends but i have fancied one of my friends - but i know where the boundaries lie and i avoid being overly affectionate with him because of the very reason that i am afraid that my friend will think that i fancy him! now i do have the craic with him but thats as far as it goes.

I think that if your friend is acting this way its because she seeks the attention of a man - not because she wants him! she is probably insecure and doesnt even realise what she is doing! Does that make sense! Sorry but that is just one side of the coin - now there is every possibility that this girl fancies him and just doesnt care who knows about it but this would make up the minority of bitchy friends out there!

If you think it would improve the matter why dont you try and get this girl a boyfriend - maybe she wont be seeking approval from probably the only male she knows - She is prob suffering a little from a case of the green eyed monster!

Cuddlesworth

Miffy O'Squiff wrote: »

He doesn't take much notice of it but it makes me really uncomfortable.

Enjoy the fact that even though she throws herself at him he clearly has no interest. She's making a fool of herself, to you and to any other male who is interested and near.

TheBrig

Hey Miffy, listen this has happened to me in the past with ex boyfriends and also at the moment with my lovely (present!) boyfriend - when I was a lot younger and not in my (vomit) thirties, I used to completely over-react, start fighting with the poor innocent guy AND the girl in question...and do you know what happened one time after my over-reaction...I drove him straight into her arms...

This girl in particular was SO clever the way she did it...she would be like "oh my GOD your fella is lovely" within his earshot and when she would notice that he heard, blush and go all coy and go "oooh now I'm morto!!!" of course boosting his ego no end (this girl was a stunner) and then the whole banter of "you look very strong would you help me lift this chair over here oh thanks so much..." and on and on and on, until I snapped, she stared at me as if I had two heads (as was he) and went "what are you talking about etc" - he freaked at me because she had been sooo clever, he didn't notice any "flirting" so I ended up with minus one boyfriend, and had to spend a summer watching her go out with him...result for her!!

Anyway, now that I'm older (and maybe a tad wiser) I would answer her in the same way I answer any of the girls I am friendly with that have made certain comments with the following:

"oh your fella is gorgeous you're so lucky"
Ans: ah thanks very much but ya should see him in the morning har har but no honestly you're right, he's a bit of all right, I'm a lucky gal
"I'd love a fella like yours"
Ans: yes he's great, has his moments though ha ha, but no hopefully you'll be lucky like me, and some guy will be lucky to get you!

And so on....honest to God, laugh off the flirtation and the hugs, if YOU react, YOU will come out of it looking worse - some men (sorry guys) but some men are absolutely oblivious when their girlfriend's friend is flirting...and lets not forget how lethal some women can be....just play her at her own game, be all chatty to her, point out fellas that she might like and all the while love, have one arm around that fella of your's waist.

Rise above it. Unless of course, she jumps on him and tries to kiss him...well then all bets are off sweetie :cool:

jesus_thats_gre

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

Enjoy the fact that even though she throws herself at him he clearly has no interest. She's making a fool of herself, to you and to any other male who is interested and near.

And we have a winner!

Bottle_of_Smoke

She should have more respect for you tbh. I never flirt with my mates girlfriend's.

There's a certain type of person who goes on with this crap & they're generally not worth knowing.

davyjose

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

She should have more respect for you tbh. I never flirt with my mates girlfriend's.

There's a certain type of person who goes on with this crap & they're generally not worth knowing.

Meh, the OP's perception might not be 100% accurate. No offence OP, but unless your friend is making actual moves on your boyfriend, you can't really let yourself get too worked up about this.

Also, trust is a nice thing to have once in a while. How close is this "friend"?

Kirnsy

next time she does it just turn to her (jokingly in front of the boyf)and say "jeez , you'd swear you fancied him" and laugh long and hard at the mere thought of it...



then deck her

Nevyn

I would tell her things to put her off, about how he snores or his feet sink.
No one is perfect.
Talk to you bf about it, could be he is unaware and talking about it may well help you gain some reassurance and he can rebuff her when she starts.

It seems harmless to me OP in my opinion though.
Ignore it.

Theres a reason your BF is going out with you and not someone else and it's because it's you that he wants

Try not to let what you've posted get into your head too much or you risk letting it change you.Ignore this and enjoy your relationship.