How do I help?

Bog Man

Briefly, my niece is only 11 years younger than me. Growing up we were more like brother/sister because of a relatively small age difference.
Three years ago she left her husband because there was nothing left between them - fair enough. But she didnt seem to want to finalise the practical spects of their seperation. I would hint at the subject but she would shy away from talking about it. She still hasnt sorted out her business and is now in financial difficulty, thankfully no kids involved. She has started talking to me recently but is clearly very torn up inside.
Personal experience has taught me that the practicalities have to be sorted before you can really move on. My OH reckons that she finds it easier to just bury her head in the sand than deal with it. A human reaction I know, but with long term consequences. She has had two BFs in recent times but dont think she is really attached to them. Every time she has to talk to the ex or meets him with his new gf she wilts visibly.
Would love to help but dont really know how. Tempted to shake her into waking up & smelling the coffee tbh but this might just alienate her (and I have very few living relations to start with)
There is a life after marriage, just wish she could see it.

tbh

you want my opinion, the best way to help her is by listening to her. If she asks for help, grand, but other than that, the kindest thing you can do is to let her figure this out for herself.