My bf and my sister

LegacyUser

I was dating a guy who moved to America last year and we tried the long distance relationship, i went over to visit him last year and he hit me more than once. He was physically violent to me, when i got back i couldn't tell anyone. I told a mutual friend of ours who was a good friend, he supported me and told me to dump the bf and i did.
Fast forward now, this friend and i are quite friendly now and i really like him but he was onto my sister a while back and they told me nothing happened.
I am now currently dating him, my sister is very angry but can't give me a reason. My sisters best mate just rang me and told me that my sister and my bf had sex. She is in a relationship(she's practically engaged) and she cheated on her bf.

I am very confused at this stage because

A. He lied to me and told me nothing happened between them
B. I know she disapproved of the relationship, but she should have told me she slept with him.


I am sitting down now and i dont know what to do, where do i start from? What do i stay?

LegacyUser

Did they have sex before you two got together.

Ur sister sounds like she is jealous. Is she unhappy in her own relationship/engagement that she wants to ruin yours (if she has had sex while you're with this guy)?

Personally explain to ur bf that you've heard that he and ur sis has had sex although u were told nothing happened and ask him to explain it to you. If he cares about you he will open up and explain all. Just be prepared for the truth - good bad or indifferent.
Also ask your sister the same question.

good luck

Wagon

1. Dump your boyfriend.

2. (optional) Tell your sisters partner.

3. Ignore your sister until you get an apology.

How old are you and your sister? I'm not being bad (I'm on your side here ) but your sister sounds about 17 and very feckin thick altogether.

gubby

ok how sure of your information are you? is the source realiable? The other thing is for you to talk to this guy. or even you sister and find out the truth. If its true then that would explaine your sister anger..(fear that you will find out) She could also have extracted a promise from him not to tell you. Finally,, when did this happen? while he was going out with you? if not, then I dont really think its any of your business. One cannot expect not to sleep with someone on the of chance that down the road they would hook up with the persons sister. In fairness, if you dont know the full story how can you make any decision. main thing is TALK find out the story.

brianthebard

When did the friend say the sister and bf slept together? If it was before you were with him I don't think you have a right to complain. Have you had this story confirmed by anyone else? Do you think your sister would get this friend to tell you this to mess with your head?

zuroph

disagree with above.

were you with ur boyfriend when he was with ur sister, or was it before you got together?

looks like they made a mistake, and were trying to protect the situation. If she messed up fair enough, but its up to her to tell her partner, not you.
as for ur BF, if it was before ye met, it was obviously a secret, and he was sticking to that plan. telling you that he had slept with her was opening a whole can of worms, and he didnt want to put ur sister in it like that.
Sounds like a single guy got the girl he wanted, but it didnt work out. ur sisters fault, but u can understand why she didnt tell you.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I smell shananigens. Firstly, don't be so quick to take the info as fact. Secondly, if it turns out to be true, you need to know if you're ready to forgive him.

You also need to ask WHY this friend of your sister told you.

LegacyUser

I would try to answer as many questions as i can

1. My sister expected him to tell me they had sex
2. My sister never approved of the relationship: we never spoke about him
and she didn't know we were getting serious.
3. My ex does not know i am dating his friend
4. The friend didn't know that we were serious either

We kept it secret because we didn't want to put it in my sisters face, this was
my decision.


So i confronted him last night and he's been ringing me non stop, apologising
for everything and telling me he loves me.
It only happened at Xmas and he swears it happened once.

Whats worse is i am very emotional right now, i just had an abortion and the baby is his.
It was a mutual decision, we felt we are not ready for a child now.

I love him but i can't be with him. If i knew they had sex i would never date him.

LegacyUser

I should add
My sister slept with him around xmas and we started dating around April/May

Macha

Um..so did they sleep together while you were going out with him? It makes quite a bit of difference.

If they did, they both have betrayed your trust.

If it was before you guys started out, she's probably terrified her fiance will find out and that fear is being expressed as anger towards you. SHe probably doesn't like being reminded of her mistake.

Sorry to hear about your abortion - it must have been a difficult decision.