looking for other Adopted Adults and their stories

catmeow 74

Hi

when I was brought into this world in the 1970`s I was given up for a adoption and luckly I was given to the best parents antbody could have and had a great but sheltered up bringing, I am now in the process of connecting with birth mother, as I would like to find out who I really am and get a few questions answered about myself. I would love to hear from anybody and their story? I just feel that trying to trace birth parents here in ireland is terrible as we have no rights??? thoughts please????

thanks CatMeow

kathy finn

hi catmeow,
i totally agree the tracing in ireland is bad ,but a lot better than it used to be.
i was born in 1969 and always knew i wanted to search, i approached the agency that delt with my adoption as soon as i turned 18 at the time i was told that the only way i could reunite with my birthmother was if she contacted the agency.
it was,nt till last year that i found out from my social worker that my birthmother had passed away in 1993, i have met up with her sisters my brother (her son) and my birthfather and his family.
all in all not what i expected but i would do it all again..kathy

catmeow 74

Hi Kathy,
thank you so much for sharing with me your story, I am delighted this has worked out for you, I would assume that during your process getting to know youself was difficult, for me it is anyway, all I really want is just answers so I can move on, and to read your story has been inspiring, thank you again
Cat

kathy finn

hi catmeow,
thats what i thought too, get some answers and move on but when it came to meeting these people i found i just could,nt do that.
be prepared to feel things you never thought you would feel and to see things in them that you see in yourself......kathy

lilminx

Hey CatMeow

I'm a child of adoption too (1978) and so are my 3 siblings. Like you, I had the most amazing family who were always open and honest about my background. We all had individual stories about how we were 'chosen' and it was the story we were tucked in with at night. At 18, I decided to go the agency and go about tracing my birth mother.

Long story short it took seven years and a lot of determination and some upset, including finding out that I wasn't on the tracing list for 5 years as I had thought.

I reunited with my birth mother close to my 25th birthday. Had to go through the counselling etc, which I would advise as although I was very well adjusted to my circumstances, there can be confusing times when you're faced with a letter from the woman who gave birth to you.... and then you have to reply.

I would advise anyone who was adopted to do this but to be prepared for some difficult times. I don't want to go into my own experience with my particular adoption society and 'social worker' as i'd be here all day and I hold a lot of resentment around the way I, and my birth mother and indeed my siblings and their birth families were treated.

I'm not too familiar with people's experience with the Adoption Board but I did a lot of research when I was going through the process. I'd be happy to answer any questions you have so feel free to pm me.

BTW, my birth mother and I are very good friends now. It's a strange relationship and isn't typical of any friendship I've had obviously - sometimes it can feel a little awkward as we both still have questions and stuff but we call each other every so often and meet up frequently.

Hope this helps... makes sense even.. lol

take care and good luck

kelcol

Hi catmeow74. I was born in 1974 and was placed for adoption immediately. I also was brought up by a very loving family and was also led to believe that I was picked for a very particular reason and that this made me all the more special. My mother was always very open about any questions I had and did her best to answer them. Once I turned 18 I told my mother that I wanted to look for my birth mother, she was supportive and gave me the details I required. It took along time to trace my birth mother but eventually I got the call to say that they had found her. The letters were exchanged with some photos they the big day was arranged. I would also question the adoption agency with the way they handled the meeting.
Its funny I could actually write a book on meeting my birth mother and the fall out from it. But suffice to say it is an extremely emotional thing for both you and your adoptive/birth mothers. If you have any questions PM me as as I say my story would take weeks to tell. Good Luck