What did I do???

Cunman · 24-09-2008 12:26pm #1

So last night I went out on a date with one of these Internet women. my friend told me that the dating site I use is just an elephant's graveyard for old boilers, but I have come across a few tasty ones on it. Last night's date said she was 25 but I'd say she was closer to 28 or 29, but she was sexy, in a kind of saucy, postcard from Blackpool kind of way. She called herself an artist - although, from what I could gather, all her "art" consisted of was her and her friends getting dressed up and lepping around the place.

Anyway, we went to a tapas bar which looked like a very popular first date spot - full of awkward looking couples - and got stuck into a few bottles of sparkling wine. I found myself feeling very attracted to her, and told her so. The candlelight made her look mischevious and sexy and I was enjoying her conversation, as she was very open minded and not at all prudish. The topics became more and more risque and, to make a long story short, I ended up taking her to my bed.

While we were getting warmed up I was telling her how much I fancied her and how much I liked her and what a bad girl she was. Then when things were at their hottest I was really getting into it and telling her how I wanted to do it with her over and over and all the places I wanted to do her in, and how I would do it and so on.

But then a funny thing happened. As soon as I shot my load - and I mean the very second I did - all those feelings completely evaporated. And I wanted her to evaporate too!

I whipped it out and was examining the end of the dick bag to make sure none of my guys were swimming where they shouldn't have been. She seemed to sense that my ardour had somewhat cooled and asked me what was wrong. Well I decided there and then that I was going to do the decent thing and not string her along with bullsh*t so I told her exactly what I was feeling at the time. Next thing I know she's throwing her clothes on, crying, screaming at me and telling me I'm a scumbag and a b'stard. And I thought I had done the right thing! What should I have done? Made a fool of her for the next six months?

So, is this a common thing? Have you girls ever experienced something like this, where a guy suddenly wants nothing more to do with you? And when it happens, what is the guy supposed to do?

Thanks for listening, and apologies for the length of the post.

Nevyn · 24-09-2008 12:30pm

troll troll troll your boat...

brianthebard · 24-09-2008 12:38pm

Lolz the right thing? hilarious. Also please don't refer to women as

Last night's piece

its demeaning to everyone.

Cunman · 24-09-2008 12:40pm

brianthebard wrote: »

Lolz the right thing? hilarious. Also please don't refer to women as its demeaning to everyone.

You're right, sorry. Will edit now.

But what is the right thing to do? Lie? That's what I'm trying to understand here. My feelings, for as long as I had them, were 100% genuine and very strong. But they just didn't last.

The only difference between this and a two year relationship is the timeframe.

John Mason · 24-09-2008 12:43pm

No, you did the right thing. Women really do need to learn that we are only here to satisfy men, and if you get bored of us, that it is no reflecting on us whatsoever and we should grateful that a men had wanted to do sexy things with us in the first place.

your bit, obviously wasnt aware of the rules and would have probably turned in to a bummy boiler anyway

Cunman · 24-09-2008 12:47pm

irishbird wrote: »

No, you did the right thing. Women really do need to learn that we are only here to satisfy men, and if you get bored of us, that it is no reflecting on us whatsoever and we should grateful that a men had wanted to do sexy things with us in the first place.

your bit, obviously wasnt aware of the rules and would have probably turned in to a bummy boiler anyway

Hey, no! That's really not what it was. I was really, really into her, but the feeling just didn't have any legs. I know I probably didn't handle it very sensitively as I had had a few jars. I could have let her down more gently, but I wasn't being dishonest or selfish in any way.

Karen_* · 24-09-2008 1:18pm

So you're standing there with your dick in your hand and you tell her you wish she'd dissapear off the face of the earth? Or words to that effect. And you're seriously asking what you did wrong. All I can tell you is that you're lobotomy was a success.

scr · 24-09-2008 1:19pm

I think you did the right thing. At no point were you dishonest, you genuinely wanted to take her to your bed and you genuinely wanted her to leave.

After all, we can't help the way you feel.

The only person in the wrong here is this mysterious woman for creating an unpleasant scene and upsetting you.

Cunman · 24-09-2008 1:24pm

Karen_* wrote: »

So you're standing there with your dick in your hand and you tell her you wish she'd dissapear off the face of the earth? Or words to that effect. And you're seriously asking what you did wrong. All I can tell you is that you're lobotomy was a success.

Give me some credit here. I didn't go that far!

What I said was that I had a busy day today and needed to get some sleep. She asked if she could stay the night and I said that I thought it would be better if we didn't see each other any more.

Then she went apesh*t!

Futurecrook · 24-09-2008 1:33pm

I cant believe you asked "What did I do?" It seems pretty self explanatory to me.

Dumping a woman right after sex makes her feel used. And rightly so.

Karen_* · 24-09-2008 1:36pm

Well thats slightly different to the impression you gave in your first post.

You'd just had sex with the girl and then you're saying you didn't want to see her again. What did you expect her to say or do?

Your whole post is really offensive to me as a woman. You show a total lack of respect and thats why you're getting caustic answers. Just a shred of intelligence and tact on your part would go a long way.

karlr42 · 24-09-2008 1:36pm

scr wrote: »

I think you did the right thing. At no point were you dishonest, you genuinely wanted to take her to your bed and you genuinely wanted her to leave.

After all, we can't help the way you feel.

The only person in the wrong here is this mysterious woman for creating an unpleasant scene and upsetting you.

Er, duplicate account, anyone?

Curlypinkie · 24-09-2008 1:36pm

Heh, if this was AH I'd say I always do the same with my bits of men. Once I've used their "bit" I loose all interest.

But this is the Ladies Lounge and I'm stuck for words.

cormie · 24-09-2008 1:37pm

You could have been a bit more tactful. You can't help the way you feel, but the way you said it probably just made her feel used, especially after the things you said to take it that far, which you said you felt were genuine, so again, you can't help the way you feel, but you have to be able to distinguish between lustful and true feelings. Funny thing is tomorrow night you'll probably be wishing you could meet up with her again.

Karen_* · 24-09-2008 1:37pm

karlr42 wrote: »

Er, duplicate account, anyone?

the post was laden with sarcasm that men wouldn't pick up on:p

karlr42 · 24-09-2008 1:38pm

Karen_* wrote: »

the post was laden with sarcasm that men wouldn't pick up on:p

Ah, mission accomplished, then

Cunman · 24-09-2008 1:41pm

Futurecrook wrote: »

I cant believe you asked "What did I do?" It seems pretty self explanatory to me.

Dumping a woman right after sex makes her feel used. And rightly so.

Ok, well tell me what I should have done, in that case. Should I have pretended to have feelings for her that I didn't have? Should I have allowed her to think that there was something between us when there wasn't?

Dudess · 24-09-2008 1:44pm

Was your anus twitching after it?

Cunman · 24-09-2008 1:46pm

Dudess wrote: »

Was your anus twitching after it?

huh?

No..

LolaDub · 24-09-2008 1:49pm

Dudess wrote: »

Was your anus twitching after it?

Nearly choked laughing at that!

cunman i'd advise you to stick to diy in future to avoid women emotional being told to get out after they've put out

Nevyn · 24-09-2008 1:49pm

Dudess wrote: »

Was your anus twitching after it?

lollers

Yeah so did you even manange to make her orgasm or were you done in 3 mins and didn't care after that ?

Cunman · 24-09-2008 1:50pm

LolaDub wrote: »

Nearly choked laughing at that!

cunman i'd advise you to stick to diy in future to avoid women emotional being told to get out after they've put out

Not sure I get this. Is the implication that the girl put her finger up my ass or something? For the record, I don't have a problem with that, but this particular one didn't.

greatgoal · 24-09-2008 1:51pm

sure it says it all when you have to use the internet to get shagged,total strangers and all that,it just goes to show that women in your locality or your social circles must realise what you are really like and reject you at all costs,sure you would benefit far more by hanging around leeson street or down the docks so as you could meet women on your own wavelength,if they knew how desperate you are you should have no problem picking up a few freebies.

Karen_* · 24-09-2008 1:53pm

OP if you really have to ask what was the matter with that girl then what is the use explaining it to you? You're not going to have the intelligence to understand the answer.

LolaDub · 24-09-2008 1:53pm

Cunman wrote: »

Not sure I get this. Is the implication that the girl put her finger up my ass or something? For the record, I don't have a problem with that, but this particular one didn't.

Seriously Cunman in future get drunk with a blow up doll, your hand and a roll of tissue. Problem solved. Except for the poor girl you ended up with who i hope we'll hear from soon on the nightmare sex thread

Futurecrook · 24-09-2008 1:54pm

Cunman wrote: »

Ok, well tell me what I should have done, in that case. Should I have pretended to have feelings for her that I didn't have? Should I have allowed her to think that there was something between us when there wasn't?

You could have been a bit more sensitive.

Ok, It was a first date. You were both attracted to each other and its not like you had made any sort of commitment to each other, but still, a little tact wouldnt hurt.

Even if you had just left it at "I have to be up early so it wouldnt really suit for you to stay" instead of immediately telling her you didnt think that you two should see each other again. In that situation I would immediately think, right, he just used me for sex.

Which, lets face it, you did.

Cunman · 24-09-2008 1:57pm

greatgoal wrote: »

sure it says it all when you have to use the internet to get shagged,total strangers and all that,it just goes to show that women in your locality or your social circles must realise what you are really like and reject you at all costs,sure you would benefit far more by hanging around leeson street or down the docks so as you could meet women on your own wavelength,if they knew how desperate you are you should have no problem picking up a few freebies.

No need to get personal, here. There are as many women on these dating sites as men. Does all of the above apply to them as well?

greatgoal · 24-09-2008 2:00pm

is this a trick question?

Cunman · 24-09-2008 2:00pm

Futurecrook wrote: »

You could have been a bit more sensitive.

Ok, It was a first date. You were both attracted to each other and its not like you had made any sort of commitment to each other, but still, a little tact wouldnt hurt.

Even if you had just left it at "I have to be up early so it wouldnt really suit for you to stay" instead of immediately telling her you didnt think that you two should see each other again. In that situation I would immediately think, right, he just used me for sex.

Which, lets face it, you did.

But I didn't! All along I felt that I really liked her and thought that I would want to be with her again and again. Then it turned out that once was enough.

If I had done like you advise would she not be sitting looking at a phone which was never going to ring? Going from eager expectation, to hope, to doubt, to desperation to rejection over the next few days. Is a clean break not kinder in the long run?

Curlypinkie · 24-09-2008 2:03pm

*facepalm*

seriously.

scr · 24-09-2008 2:04pm

If I had just finished having sex with a woman and she informed me that she had suddenly realised that she was only really interested in having sex with me I'd say fine, no worries.

This business of causing a scene just has no place, in fact the more I think about it the more annoyed I get. In these sexually liberated, post-feminism times we should all be tough enough to take the truth in our stride; if someone sleeps with you they don't owe you anything.

You tell kids lies to stop them from crying, you shouldn't have to do the same to adults.

cHaTbOx · 24-09-2008 2:06pm

Cunman wrote: »

But I didn't! All along I felt that I really liked her and thought that I would want to be with her again and again. Then it turned out that once was enough.

If I had done like you advise would she not be sitting looking at a phone which was never going to ring? Going from eager expectation, to hope, to doubt, to desperation to rejection over the next few days. Is a clean break not kinder in the long run?

I think she would have got over you lol.If anything it was lust.I am sure you have heard of it.

For someone asking for advice on what you should have done you sure know what a woman may have done.Why didn't you think like that before saying this?

You are such a bad troll its dissapointing:(

karlr42 · 24-09-2008 2:06pm

Cunman wrote: »

But I didn't! All along I felt that I really liked her and thought that I would want to be with her again and again. Then it turned out that once was enough.

Seriously man, quit while you're ahead(?) and leave.

Futurecrook · 24-09-2008 2:07pm

Cunman wrote: »

But I didn't! All along I felt that I really liked her and thought that I would want to be with her again and again. Then it turned out that once was enough.

If I had done like you advise would she not be sitting looking at a phone which was never going to ring? Going from eager expectation, to hope, to doubt, to desperation to rejection over the next few days. Is a clean break not kinder in the long run?

I do get that you were, in your own way, apparently trying to let her down gently. But you could have let her stay and texted her the next day saying that you had a great time but werent looking for anything serious? Instead of kicking her out in the small hours of the morning. Not only was the poor girl probably mortified but she then had to make her way home.

greatgoal · 24-09-2008 2:08pm

Cunman wrote: »

No need to get personal, here. There are as many women on these dating sites as men. Does all of the above apply to them as well?

i dont know anybody elses reasons for using those dating sites,but you made yours loud and clear,also i wasnt getting personal,just giving you an alternative so that nobody gets hurt.

Nevyn · 24-09-2008 2:10pm

Stop using dating sites and use adult hook up sex sites.

Cunman · 24-09-2008 2:11pm

scr wrote: »

If I had just finished having sex with a woman and she informed me that she had suddenly realised that she was only really interested in having sex with me I'd say fine, no worries.

This business of causing a scene just has no place, in fact the more I think about it the more annoyed I get. In these sexually liberated, post-feminism times we should all be tough enough to take the truth in our stride; if someone sleeps with you they don't owe you anything.

You tell kids lies to stop them from crying, you shouldn't have to do the same to adults.

My thoughts exactly.

Is it not the case that a woman putting out is taking a bit of a gamble?

I have a few quid down on Leinster to hammer Munster this weekend. I certainly hope I win, but if I lose I'm not going to start crying and screaming at Paddy Power.

bealbocht · 24-09-2008 2:11pm

yeah.. you kicked her out of the house in the middle of the night.

Thats not the same as leaving before she wakes up..

Do you have any idea how she got home... , it would seem, that you are too unable to understand / empathise with other people to care.

scr · 24-09-2008 2:15pm

Cunman wrote: »

My thoughts exactly.

Is it not the case that a woman putting out is taking a bit of a gamble?

I have a few quid down on Leinster to hammer Munster this weekend. I certainly hope I win, but if I lose I'm not going to start crying and screaming at Paddy Power.

Well said Cunman, the message here is grow up and toughen up, hide your emotions if they're unruly and likely to cause offense or upset to another. As to peoples' concern about how this woman got home; presumably she got a taxi or a bus or some such thing? How does anyone get home after a night out?

Cunman · 24-09-2008 2:16pm

Thaedydal wrote: »

lollers

Yeah so did you even manange to make her orgasm or were you done in 3 mins and didn't care after that ?

I'm actually pretty good in bed, and I always make sure to devote a good bit of time to foreplay. Last night was no exception. I spent about 10 minutes pulling the tits off her before I got down to business.

Karen_* · 24-09-2008 2:17pm

karlr42 wrote: »

Ah, mission accomplished, then

Actually! I think you were right!! :eek:

Karen_* · 24-09-2008 2:18pm

Cunman wrote: »

I'm actually pretty good in bed, and I always make sure to devote a good bit of time to foreplay. Last night was no exception. I spent about 10 minutes pulling the tits off her before I got down to business.

You're having a laugh now. Not feeding you anymore. Over and out!

Curlypinkie · 24-09-2008 2:18pm

Cunman wrote: »

I have a few quid down on Leinster to hammer Munster this weekend. I certainly hope I win, but if I lose I'm not going to start crying and screaming at Paddy Power.

Moving swiftly on, lol

Nevyn · 24-09-2008 2:18pm

Arent you such a gent and a keeper.

greatgoal · 24-09-2008 2:19pm

Cunman wrote: »

My thoughts exactly.

Is it not the case that a woman putting out is taking a bit of a gamble?

I have a few quid down on Leinster to hammer Munster this weekend. I certainly hope I win, but if I lose I'm not going to start crying and screaming at Paddy Power.

i thought you had to be over 18 to legally put on bets in this country.

Dudess · 24-09-2008 2:21pm

scr wrote: »

If I had just finished having sex with a woman and she informed me that she had suddenly realised that she was only really interested in having sex with me I'd say fine, no worries.

This business of causing a scene just has no place, in fact the more I think about it the more annoyed I get. In these sexually liberated, post-feminism times we should all be tough enough to take the truth in our stride; if someone sleeps with you they don't owe you anything.

You tell kids lies to stop them from crying, you shouldn't have to do the same to adults.

scr, how come you always jump on board to defend posters like Cunman and Twitching Anus (funnily enough, you all have rather similar posting styles)?

karlr42 · 24-09-2008 2:27pm

Time for a whois lookup on their IPs?

greenapplesea · 24-09-2008 2:27pm

OP I feel like the only reason you are posting here is in the hope that somebody as insensitive as yourself will tell you that what you did was ok. Unfortunately if they did, this person would be wrong. What you did was disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself. I doubt any of these feelings you claim you had for this girl were genuine and only developed as a result of being caught up in a moment that you found to be exciting and sexy. Obviously if you ramble on about how attracted you are to a girl yet then dump her as soon as you've, how did you so elequently put it...?, "shot your load", she is going to feel like complete sh*t and think that you are the biggest bastard on the planet. And rightly so.

Your post is so so insulting to women, whether you realise or not, and I really think you should bow out now.

Cunman · 24-09-2008 2:30pm

Dudess wrote: »

scr, how come you always jump on board to defend posters like Cunman and Twitching Anus (funnily enough, you all have rather similar posting styles)?

Now I understand!

I am not Twitching Anus, whoever he or she is.

It looks to me like you always jump on board to oppose certain types of poster yourself. I thank SCR for his comments, but am not colluding with him and don't know who he is. My best guess is that he lives near the SCR, but a lot of people do!

24-09-2008 2:33pm

Seriously mods, can we lock this now?

Dudess · 24-09-2008 2:34pm

greenapplesea wrote: »

OP I feel like the only reason you are posting here is in the hope that somebody as insensitive as yourself will tell you that what you did was ok. Unfortunately if they did, this person would be wrong. What you did was disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself. I doubt any of these feelings you claim you had for this girl were genuine and only developed as a result of being caught up in a moment that you found to be exciting and sexy. Obviously if you ramble on about how attracted you are to a girl yet then dump her as soon as you've, how did you so elequently put it...?, "shot your load", she is going to feel like complete sh*t and think that you are the biggest bastard on the planet. And rightly so.

Your post is so so insulting to women, whether you realise or not, and I really think you should bow out now.

Or else he's just trolling - i.e. trying to get a rise out of people, especially women, in which case we really should just ignore him.

And using eloquent turns of phrase but then juxtaposing this with the likes of "I shot my load" and "I was pulling the tits off her" is another trait common to this current rash of posters...

What did I do???

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