New Boyfriend + STI Problem!

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I have a bit of a problem. Ive been seeing my boyfriend for just 1 month and things are going well. In May I went for a smear test and asked the doctor if she could also do an STI test. I found out that my last longterm partner (4 yrs) was cheating on me so thats why I had the STI test.

Anyways I had unprotected sex (stupid I know) with my new boyfriend last week and my doc told me today that I have an STi (chlamydia). Im so embarrassed now and I have no idea how to tell my boyfriend, as chances are he is now infected. So we both need medication to treat it. Can i get a prescription for both of us from my doctor or does he have to consult his doctor???

Im just terrified that he'll think im dirty or something. Not sure how to approach this subject with him.

How do I tell him???

MugMugs

Hi OP

It happens.

As a bloke, I would appreciate it if you sat me down, ran me through the whole thing and told me straight.

With the greatest of respects to your new bloke, he had unprotected sex with you as much as you with him...... if you get where I am going here....

Anyway. It isnt the end of the world but just make sure you tell him now and not later when it could be too late !

Victor

So Embarrassed wrote: »

Can i get a prescription for both of us from my doctor or does he have to consult his doctor???

No, he will need to be checked out himself. For all you or I know, he could be allergic to the treatment given to you.

Im just terrified that he'll think im dirty or something. Not sure how to approach this subject with him.

In a quiet, private moment, like grown adults. Sober. Perhaps after breakfast?

Nevyn

He needs to go to his own dr and be tested as he may or may not have it.
The good news is that Chlamydia is easily treatable and can be cured.

b3t4

So Embarrassed wrote: »

Im just terrified that he'll think im dirty or something. Not sure how to approach this subject with him.

If he thinks anything of the sort then he's an idiot and you're well rid of him.

How do I tell him???

I say just come out with it in a very matter of the fact way. Then again this is very much my way of doing things.

Also, you'd be best to tell your ex partner that he probably has chlamydia. Not for his sake but for the girls who he'll be sleeping with's sake. Chlamydia if left untreated can cause fertility problems in women.

I'm sure I'll be lambasted for this but here goes anyways I'm not sure if you watch Sex and The City but Miranda contracted chlamydia and had to tell Steve in season 3 episode 6 "Are we Sluts?". Maybe watching it might give you some idea how you might like to broach the subject? You could possible hate SATC so it's just an idea

A.

Orion

Tell him. Chlamydia is very common and easily cured and nothing to be embarassed about. He can go to one of the GUM clinics free and have the test for it. It's a short course of antibiotics to get rid of it.

Bear in mind that you could just as easily have got it from your new partner. It commonly has no obvious symptoms in men so he may have had it and not know.

MagicMarker

Well, as much as you shouldn't have had sex until getting the all clear, if he whines about it then all you can do is calmly explain to him that you got it the very same way he did, and he has no one to blame really other than himself.

Marksie

Just be open about it and try not to make a really big deal.
It is very important you do tell him as both of you will need to take antibiotics.

Its a common enough infection at around 10% according to information from the maire stopes.
Still it s a shock when you find out as it has somewhat negative connotations as there is always an "out of the blue" feeling when this arrives, particularly as there are no obvious symptoms in such a high proportion of cases..

But if he is any way responsible and mature, he will accept what you are saying.
As was pointed out its easily treated.

I think he will have to go to his doctor for the prescription BTW, its probably best all around as the doctor can talk to him in a professional capacity about it and that may be a big help

yermandan

Yeah as most other posters have said, he had unprotected sex with you too so it was his risk also.

The thing is to be completely honest, just sit him down and explain the situationa and then both go to your GP's and get it sorted.

Believe me he will appreciate your honesty and with only a month gone in your relationship, will go along way to creating the trust needed for you both to survive in it!!

Honesty is the best policy

Dan:cool:

Bottle_of_Smoke

I'd just send him a text, it's a simple antibiotic cure & he knows you have nothing else. Do it quickly though, affects male fertility too

Marksie

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

I'd just send him a text,

Do not do this.

"Hi just txting you to let you know you have chlamydia. Go to docs. How you feeling?"

Not in 256 characters.

He wont be present, he will wonder what the hell is happening and may get all sorts of notions into his head
Do it in person where you can reassure and explain without the possible misinterpretation of not being able to communicate effectively

ChocolateSauce

I've been in your position too, except I hadn't had unprotected sex with someone new. It isn't fun. Best to just tell him the truth. If he is a decent guy he'll be on your side and have sympathy with you for being cheated on. It takes two people to transmit and STI.

If he doesn't take it well, dump him. If he blames you for your ex's cheating he isn't worth it.

Aurora Borealis

It's a tricky one for you but you actually only really have one option. You have to tell him and just hope he has the maturity to handle it. You haven't done the cheating so hold your head up high. Hopefully this guy will be nicer than your last.

Best of luck.

aidan24326

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

I'd just send him a text, it's a simple antibiotic cure & he knows you have nothing else. Do it quickly though, affects male fertility too

You have to be joking?

'Hi John/Pat/Peter, how are things? Still on for Wednesday night yeah? I'm just gonna have dinner now but I'll call you later. PS I have Chlamydia so you proabably have it now aswell'

MugMugs

aidan24326 wrote: »

You have to be joking?

'Hi John/Pat/Peter, how are things? Still on for Wednesday night yeah? I'm just gonna have dinner now but I'll call you later. PS I have Chlamydia so you proabably have it now aswell'

Thats funny !

krpc

MugMugs wrote: »

Hi OP

It happens.

As a bloke, I would appreciate it if you sat me down, ran me through the whole thing and told me straight.

With the greatest of respects to your new bloke, he had unprotected sex with you as much as you with him...... if you get where I am going here....

Anyway. It isnt the end of the world but just make sure you tell him now and not later when it could be too late !

Sound advice.

AckwelFoley

Clamidia is the most common sti out there at the moment and is undetectable, yet can lead to reproductive problems if not treated

Dont feel bad, you didnt know you had it and its as much his fault for not having proected sex until you both were checked

Just fess up to him and how you contracted it and he should be ok with the honesty.


Then find where your ex is and nail his genitals to the table.

Marksie

snyper wrote: »

Clamidia is the most common sti out there at the moment and is undetectable, yet can lead to reproductive problems if not treated

That is incorrect. It is Asymptomatic in a large proportion of cases not undetecable.
It is also common but not THE most common.



One thing that hasn't been said i think... is that you should inform your ex.

He should be made aware that he is infected as he may be infecting others.

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone for all of your replys. I was a bag of nerves telling him but I sat him down yesterday and told him. He took it pretty well and is going to the doc tomorrow. No more sex til we're both clear!!

Thanks again.

krudler

things is this will probably bring you closer together and you'll be able to laugh about it between yourselves down the line, crazy sounding i know but was in a similar situation myself and everything worked out fine, its mad to see just how common STIs actually are, and how many have no symptoms