Funny shooting stories

fish slapped

Lads, Lets face it some form of mishap has happen to all of us, so I thought I' share one of mine, if you care to do the same feel free.

Nov 1st a couple of years ago, had to work, all the lads gone of after mr pheasant nice 'n early. I finished up around 2 went straight home got the scatter gun and headed out alone with no dog. Walked a tree line which usually produced something nice,this time nothing. Just passing a big old Ivy tree when I heard "CUUP, CUUP" from the far corner of the next field:D, but had an itchy feeling about the ivy tree so keep'n an eye on it, I decided to head down towards the caller in the next field. Now an electric fence ran along side this tree line and I usually use the butt of the gun to push down the wire enough to step accross. Stepped one leg accross and FLAP, FLAP,FLAP, BOK,BOK,BOK mr pheasant decides to exit the ivy tree beside me. Bear in mind, one leg either side of the leicy fence, shotgun butt holding it down and mr pheasant in mid air !! Now this dairy farmer would have the fence switched off 90% of the time, In my head "do I, don't I, do I, don't I"?? Well Ido and throw the stock up to my shoulder and BUZZ!!!!:eek::eek::o Now tipping the fence is bad enough but constant contact is another matter! It took me 20 minute to walk back to the car (5minute walk) and I can still hear mr pheasant laughing.:o

Victor

Why were you crossing a fence with a loaded weapon?

fish slapped

if I added all the details of breaking the gun etc.. it'd be a long long story!

Trojan911

I was lamping one night & using an electronic caller which gave off a distressed rabbit sound, it was absolutely pitch dark.

A couple of minutes into calling I put up the lamp & got a sudden smack in the face from a swooping owl. The caller was right next to me at face level on the car roof.

Spooked the life out of me, however, a magnificent bird up close as he came around for a second descent but then flew off.

fish slapped

Trojan close enough to taste??

tiny-nioclas

Good one!! I have a funny story, you'd probably have to be there though to see how funny it was, i had just got my shotgun with a few weeks and was going out for a rough shoot with a few lads and dogs, i was told i could take the first flushed bird because i was the newbie, around an hour into the shoot the dogs put up a big cock phesent, i gave it the top barrell and hit it, not too well though as it didnt die it soared around 50-60 yards into the field down from the one i shot it in, i went down to collect it for the last rights:) and out of nowhere a big dog fox with THREE legs no mind!, bolted out of a ditch and grabbed MY first phesent and took off with him into the forest....... just my luck!

Trojan911

fish slapped wrote: »

Trojan close enough to taste??

Can't get any closer than a smack on the chops.....

fish slapped

Trojan I had something similar with a pigeon and the visor on my helmet at 60 mph, it was like a sledge hammer, nearly took me off the bike!!

Jonty

I was helping my auld lad last saturday pointing a few stakes with the saw, and he's the kind of fella that would say "Ah sure leave the last 20 there, it'll be something for you to do next week". Anyway he springs it on me to go down and bring up a lame horse outta the field, bearing in mind its approaching 6pm and I'm going for a stalk! So off we go and get the horse, tear home, change, get rifle, get bolt, give rifle quick pull through to remove excess oil from storage, get binos, get ammo, get knife, get in jeep and go!!! So off I am on my merry way up the slieve blooms, bearing in mind it was fabulous out and arrive at my destination at 1930hrs. Out I get, put binos on neck, 3 rounds in the mag and I look down and wonder why can I see shiny brass??

BECAUSE I LEFT THE EFFIN BOLT ON MY BED!!!!!!!!! I was sick. Well I turned the air blue, all that rushing for nothing. I didn't even go up and look in my permission I would have been sick if there was a nice fallow there!


So to round it off, I just took a deep breath, counted to 10 and went home.

fish slapped

Jonty, done it only arrived at the range and the lads nearly pissed themselves laughing:o

Jonty

fish slapped wrote: »

Jonty, done it only arrived at the range and the lads nearly pissed themselves laughing:o

I knew I wasn't the only one. At least I was by myself!!!!

sniper83

heres a funi one, even thought it wasnt 2 funi at the time ... im sure it will provide a laugh:D

was out for a walk one day a few years ago with the gun and spotted mr foxie in da next field.. managed 2 creep up to da wall unnoticed and peeped through.. sure enough mr foxie was der sniffing away not a bother on him..:D

put 2 bb's in gun and took aim... bang!!!!!!! down he goes;) so i hop da wall and go in for a closer look!
his back was facin me so thinking he was gone 2 foxie heaven i used my foot 2 roll him over (not da smartest thing i ever did!!) as he turned with a quick snap he sank his teeth into my welly!! :eek: got the shock of my life:eek::eek:
A frantic few minutes passed while i checked if my toes were still in tact!!
lucky enough he didnt puncture da skin but that welly was f**ked!!:(

loaded da other bb and this time i made SURE he went ta foxie heaven!!

still have nightmares about the little bugger :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Vegeta

One of the funnier ones, involves my brother and his friend. They were out shooting on the 18th of January nearly 10 years ago at this stage. They were heading to Oz the next day. My brother was shooting and his friend was official cartridge carrier.

There is a lovely little feeding bed a few miles from where I am living. Its surrounded by reeds and there is a small island out about 100 yards in the water which creates a natural route way/flight path for duck. Its always good for a few mallard.

There's a little stream flowing from the land to the lake. Its a small little thing only about 2.5-3ft across. On the way to the shore this must be crossed or just go 100 yards wider and around it. My brother decided to go around it and his friend decided to jump it, after all its only a little stream and not very wide, right? BIG mistake

Over the course of the winter the river had gouged a very deep whole in one isolated spot. Your man misjudges this of course and goes up to his nipples, in very cold water, in January. Very funny for us, not so funny for him.







[mod hat on]
On a side note. I know detailing every aspect of gun safety in a story can ruin creative license, but for the sake of beginners or people new to the sport who may be reading this, ALWAYS unload for any obstacle. [mod hat off]

cavan shooter

Last year and on a car road down to some fields we regularly lamp and low and behold my lamping buddy spots a fox accross a ditch about half way up a hill. I took the lamp from him as he took the rifle and got out of the vehicle and moved to the back for a shot. The fox had other ideas and he kept walking back and forward accross the side of the hill, to get a better view I sat up on the window and as I tried to pick up Mr. Fox again, what did I see only another fox calm as you like sitting accross the ditch watching us. I pisssst, I whispered, and tried all other methods to get to try and get my lamping buddys attention until finally, I said Hey ***sh*te look at the spectator, when he looked at the fox he let out a yelp, my lamping buddy near shi* himself and the fox turned and took off like a rocket.

Another time time I was out with a chap trying to shoot two foxes which were obviously(in the throws of Foxy passion) I never worked out what was funniest, the fox busy, no care in the world under the spotlight or the shooter trying to work out the best position/angle to get one bullet to do the biz.

Jonty

Vegeta wrote: »

Over the course of the winter the river had gouged a very deep whole in one isolated spot. Your man misjudges this of course and goes up to his nipples, in very cold water, in January. Very funny for us, not so funny for him.

The expression, "wet duffle coat" springs to mind!!!!

fish slapped

Hands up who has always arrived back home after a day after the ducks with 1 wet foot and it ain't the boots!!

I wasn't shooting long when I was brought out after pheasants by the 2 brothers in law. Walking a small field which was quite boggy, up poped mr P and as the newbie I was allowed first shot. Mr P got a good slap of mr super game 6 and went to ground with a thump in the field beside us. Now a stream about 3ft. wide ran between the 2 fields and as there was no sign of a crossing I asked the bro's what was the ground like on the other side "ah tis grand much better than this!" So the 17stone prop forward took a good run and leaped like a gazelle in to the air. Upon landing on the other side the leaping prop was greeted by 2 sounds - 1 squaelsh , 2 the roar of laughter. this gazelle had sunk to his knee's and needed help to excavate him self and then pull his two wellies out. what a pair of f****rs.

Vegeta

fish slapped wrote: »

Hands up who has always arrived back home after a day after the ducks with 1 wet foot and it ain't the boots!!

I wasn't shooting long when I was brought out after pheasants by the 2 brothers in law. Walking a small field which was quite boggy, up poped mr P and as the newbie I was allowed first shot. Mr P got a good slap of mr super game 6 and went to ground with a thump in the field beside us. Now a stream about 3ft. wide ran between the 2 fields and as there was no sign of a crossing I asked the bro's what was the ground like on the other side "ah tis grand much better than this!" So the 17stone prop forward took a good run and leaped like a gazelle in to the air. Upon landing on the other side the leaping prop was greeted by 2 sounds - 1 squaelsh , 2 the roar of laughter. this gazelle had sunk to his knee's and needed help to excavate him self and then pull his two wellies out. what a pair of f****rs.

classic

meathstevie

Have you ever had "friends" holding down an electrified fence wire for you only to lift the welly when your vitals are right over it ? Feckers

fish slapped

Stevie, Iknow what it feels like and their all feckers!!

John Griffin

My dad bought me my first shotgun, a single barreled BSA with a 30inch barrel and full choke. After spending the summer practicing on pigeons i was ready for the 1st of November. Me and my Dad out on the first, shooting together at long last. The day started like a dream, we walked in on a pond in the first field and flushed about 20 teal and a single drake mallard and i dropped the mallard, my first!! Though to this day i can never remember seeing the mallard among the teal and i believe i just fired at the flock, couldn't believe my luck:).

Next as we were walking a heavy ditch with a stream in the middle a fine rooster came screaming out to me and i knocked him dead, Tessy the springer came out and took it back to my dad. When we got to the end of the ditch my Dad told me to cross over to him. This meant i had to jump the stream, it was waist deep and was a easy jump with a little bit of a run. I unloaded the gun and handed it across to my Dad, I could see he was well pleased with the mornings shooting so far, he was smiling from ear to ear as was I.

I went back about 15 feet and took my run and just as i was about to take off my legs stopped and stuck to the spot on the bank, but the rest of my body kept going, I slapped head first into the stream, all i could hear was water and roars of laughter as i did a 360 turn underwater. I climbed out of the stream spluttering and coughing and there on the other side was my welly stuck in a piece of rusty barbed wire. My Dad was a wreck from laughing, he couldn't talk, he was on his knees, he couldn't have helped me out if he wanted to. I got my welly back and we carried on, i wasn't giving up that easy. But every so often i would hear my Dad laughing away to himself on the otherside of a ditch.:):):) He still laughs about it to this day and takes great delight in reciting it to all that will listen:rolleyes::)

dwighet

was out one day on the pheasant with my dog.. Now this dog I have is a sprocker(springer cocker cross) Mad in the head he is... There was this one day last year around xmas time the ground was boggy and im not 21 any more and the dog is on a scent and you all know when a springer has a scent you better keep up with him... well I was flat out after him in 10 inches of mud
and slush and he turned through a gate which was one of those white ribbon electric feckers. well the ribbon was too high to jump so I thought i would go under it.. Keep in mind now that Im 41 yrs old now and my dog is 2... Im done like a dinner.... my sweaty cammo cap touches this electrc white ribbon and knocks me out... clean out I was for about 30 seconds ..I think.. I came too with a face full of mud and old faithfull (jake my dog licking my face)He`s not the best gun dog in thre world but we have the craic.....Thats what its all about...

Tackleberry.

the mains electric fence, opening day two year ago while working my way out to a great spot on the Shannon for a few Mallard with a friend and two labs. it was lightly raining and and cold so we were well wraped up in all the gear so when it came to passing tru a pair of posts which were left apart so as to able to pass from field to field, my mate and the dogs passed tru no prop so i turned sideways to pass tru BANG BANG BANG the fecking fence had me traped i fell out of between the posts with my hips in some pain.....and whats my mate say while pissing himself laughing shhh you'll scare the ducks... anyway back in the car my mate said it looked like i was trying to mount the fence post . god i got some amount of hops of that fence as the farmer never put the plastic hose on the fence as he pinned it around the posts, but lesson learned.still waitng the payback laugh off my mate.

fish slapped

Had a Czech friend of mine lamping for me (I go there for reds and boar & he comes here for fox:D:D) Whilst walking a certian field he decided he needed to "water the flowers" . whilst doing this he seen something flashing in the corner where he was taking a leak and yes you guessed it he took aim and peed on it !! well lets just say I can swear in several languages but never heard anything like this. As he lay on the ground I asked him if he was watering the flowers or cooking them??

pullandbang

fish slapped wrote: »

. whilst doing this he seen something flashing in the corner where he was taking a leak and yes you guessed it he took aim and peed on it !!

Cringe inducing stuff that!:eek::eek::eek:

Frind of mine was a fanatical game shooter some years back. He was out for ducks one day and shot a nice drake. He stuffed the dead duck in the pocket of his waxed jacket and ended up in the pub that evening for a few pints before going home. Standing at the packed bar with a pint in his hand he hears "Quack Quack Quack" as loud as you like. Looks down and there's the drake with his head out of his pocket looking around the bar and quacking at the customers. He got such a fright he never shot again and that was about 15 years ago.

tiny-nioclas

Haha great thread,

I go there for reds and boar & he comes here for fox

Thats a brilliant arrangement!

fish slapped

tiny-nioclas wrote: »

Haha great thread,



Thats a brilliant arrangement!

Tiny, I am happy with it anyway, so is he !:p

P&B a friend of mine won a lamb in an easter draw down the pub one night. The landlord went out back to get the prize for him and the lamb appered in the doorway still bleeting, all the women went mad. The poor lamb sat up all night tied to the leg of the bar stool eating crisp's!

meathstevie

fish slapped wrote: »

Tiny, I am happy with it anyway, so is he !:p

P&B a friend of mine won a lamb in an easter draw down the pub one night. The landlord went out back to get the prize for him and the lamb appered in the doorway still bleeting, all the women went mad. The poor lamb sat up all night tied to the leg of the bar stool eating crisp's!

I love those "..back in the day stories..". There used to be a pub about five mile from my hometown where my dad and his shooting pals used to go for a few back in the day....the nickname the place had would translate to "scruffy's" in English and bejeezes it didn't get it for nothing. In order to go for a slash you had to walk through a shed that was sort of tacked on to the main building and served as a henhouse that wasn't too used to seeing a brush and a shovel..the lads used to joke that the last time the place was cleaned was back in the day when Easter was on a tuesday. The big annual event there was a cross country cycle race that passed through the pub : in the backdoor ( through the henhouse ) and out the front...

Grizzly 45

We all know the one.The guy/gal who wont do a tap of work to help you or talks down hunting,but is always around to mooch off you any shot game or sends you out with a shopping list of things they would like in their freezer.:(
An old mentor of mine ,now gone to the Happy hunting Grounds.Had this trouble,being a well known surgeon,he had plenty of folks in the better class bothering him for game.
One night ,while out flighting geese,he shot what he thought was a goose.Turned out to be a fine size Herring seagull.Being into some divilliment,he took the gull and plucked and gutted it.Sure enough in a couple of days,the prize moocher showed up looking for a nice goose for a upper class dinner he and his snooty wife were planning.He had never eaten one but heard they were very tasty and would he shoot him one?Telling him he had shot one a couple of days ago,he got him the "goose" and off went the old moocher to prepare his sumptious feast.Two days later,and looking somwhat worse for wear,the moocher returned complaining that the goose tasted horrible and tough.Somthing like "fish meal and baler twine."
It had stunk out the oven,kitchen and house with grease and a fishy smell,and had played havoc with everyones digestion."ah shure thats the normal way a goose cooks and tastes" says my friend."well, I dont think I'll bother you for anymore wildfowl or wild game anymore. Says the Ex moocher."From the smell of it,I would swear it lived off fish":D

fish slapped

Grizzly I like it, I have a brother who's a mechanic. He had a local farmer who was always in getting this and that done and never paying "I'll get ya a pint or two down the pub" (the bro doesn't drink!) so they were what he calls thank you jobs. One day the farmer arrives in and wants somthing done with the heater. Another thankyou job thinks the bro and decides he has to get rid of him. He spends 2 hrs fiing the heater and the puts a mackeral (from my freezer) in the heater box:eek::eek::D. Mr farmer comes and collects it, after a week the bro get word of a woefull stink from the car but farmer boy never comes back..

John Griffin

We had a lad from Dublin move down to my local gun club area a few years ago, he was mad keen and wanted to join the gun club. He bought all the gear and joined up, he came out on a few fox drives and came on a few clay shoots and we soon had him up to speed.

We were in the pub one night after a meeting and he announced that he was finished with this duck shooting crack. And he proceeded with his story.

"Well lads I shot this big duck last week, huge he was, he dropped on the far bank and the lab went to retrieve it, it was still alive and the dog came back with it. Then it suddenly grabbed the dogs ear in its beak, the roars of the dog!! Then i grabbed it and it nearly took a chunk outta me arm!! I killed it with a big stick for a finish.(People were starting to look at him funny:rolleyes:) I took it home and hung it like and then plucked it and stuck it in the oven. Jaysus lads the wife went mental, the stink of it, it tasted like sh1te."

Then someone asks "what kinda duck was it"?

"Ahh it was one of them Daffy ducks, ye know the big black ones".

He shot a

feckin cormorant

:D:D

Jonty

There was a Dub that came lamping with us one night, and was a bit naive of country ways.

Anyway we came across a yellow pair of eyes - John Charles Fox - and went into hunt mode straight away. And then the poor naive dub says "Jayzuz boyz howd ya call a bleedin fox" to which our man on the lamp replied " You do it like this - here foxy, foxy, foxy, here boy, theres a GOOD boy - try it".

Suffice it to say we were in stitches.

fish slapped

Bet ya didn't laugh as much as the FOX:D

pullandbang

John Griffin wrote: »

We had a lad from Dublin move down to my local gun club area a few years ago,

The poor Dubs

My shooting partner was delivering eggs in a Dublin hotel many moons ago. This was back when the bounty was still on the vermin. Anyway, he used to bring the dead foxes and badgers in the back of the lorry while delivering the eggs (before Health & Safety got teeth). While bringing the eggs in to the hotel, he had to shift a dead badger out of the way so he put him on the loading ramp.
Now the young Dubs that worked in the hotel had never seen a badger and were fascinated with it. When my mate was finished unloading and getting ready to leave, the lads shouted "Hey Mister, don't forget your goose!"

I'd hate to have ordered goose in that hotel!:D