Not seeing eye to eye on travel

taram

My bf and I are very similar people except in our attitudes to travel. I've been travelling since I was very small due to dad/friends abroad, he's been out of the country for 3 weeks in his life. I have some time off work coming up and want to go off on an interrailing binge for 3 weeks. He wants to go to London at a push for a few days.

We're fighting mad about it. Not sure what to do Anything I can say or do to help the situation? Or am I just being a baby and should suck it up and stay with him at home for my time off?

How old are ye? Is he scared of flying?

Why don't you try working on compromise, spend a week together somewhere on your interrailing trip.

taram

He is actually, unless I go with him on the flight, which means I'd have to cut my trip short to bring him home. He's not really interested in going anywhere "foreign" as he's terrified of not being understood by local people.

taram

taram wrote: »

He is actually, unless I go with him on the flight, which means I'd have to cut my trip short to bring him home. He's not really interested in going anywhere "foreign" as he's terrified of not being understood by local people.

hhhmm Where did he spend his 3 weeks abroad?

taram

One week in Berlin with me (I speak very good German so he was okay), and two weeks in Spain when he was 8.

taram

taram wrote: »

One week in Berlin with me (I speak very good German so he was okay), and two weeks in Spain when he was 8.

How about going somewhere like the US, where he can feel independant?

taram

Good plan thanks. Totally forgot about the other side of the Atlantic. Just worried I'll want to travel around and he'll arrive in a city and want to stay put.

Zillah

Did the Spanish holiday go very badly or something?

Alicat

Ah he hasn't gone many places. If he's not comfortable you'll just have to break him in slowly. Not really his fault! You'll both just have to compromise. He'll have to get a little bit more adventurous and you'll have to settle for a tame-ish holiday this time.

You could like it though? Give you an opporunity to slow down and enjoy the holiday, not just thinking of the next place you have to rush off to. You could take your time and enjoy spending time with him in nice hotels with room service

taram

Zillah wrote: »

Did the Spanish holiday go very badly or something?

He won't talk about it so I presume that means a yes.

Alicat: room service and hotels do sound good used to sleeping on trains half the time

taram

taram wrote: »

Good plan thanks. Totally forgot about the other side of the Atlantic. Just worried I'll want to travel around and he'll arrive in a city and want to stay put.

Maybe it is a good idea to plan a staying put holiday, if that makes him more comfortable.
Let him have space to learn to love traveling for himself.
Someplace like NYC could keep your curiousity occupied for a lifetime.


What does he do with his holidays as it is? He isn't a workaholic is he?

taram

He just stays at home for them, plays a lot of World of Warcraft :P

Zillah

taram wrote: »

He won't talk about it so I presume that means a yes.

Well I think we've just hit the core of the problem here. Maybe he got lost and was very upset that he couldn't ask people for help or something. Try to find out what happened and try to reassure him. Once he talks about that and starts to get over it he'll probably be far more receptive to travelling.

Otherwise you're mostly bashing your head off a wall.

zuroph

id agree with the above, i'd compromise and go somewhere for a stay put holiday. maybe slowly open him up to the idea of exploring with day trips to local sights etc, so u can feel like ur getting around, while he feels like he has a solid base to work from.

Alicat

taram wrote: »

He just stays at home for them, plays a lot of World of Warcraft :P

Lol ok he probably does need to venture out a little bit more.

But no point in throwing him into the middle of a situation that he is totally uncomfortable in and ends up retreating back into his shell. Gentle persuasion is what's needed Something that sounds non-threatening and not too out of the ordinary.

Ever been to Rome? You can't go to Rome and not want to see absolutely everything, so a famous, well-populated city like that might spark his interest.

bnagrrl

Hi taram,
Sorry to hear your boyfriend isn't into travel. My mum was born in NY, my dad is from Italy so growing up I spent a lot of time travelling to both countries. I am hooked on travelling but when I first met my boyfriend, he wasn't as into it as I was and had only ever been on a few package deals with his folks and friends.
All I can suggest is that you try to take things slowly, maybe a city break somewhere close by, Paris/London etc and then go from there??
He's nothing to be worried about with locals not understanding him; my Italian is quite good but anytime I'm in Italy I always get responses in English :rolleyes:
We went on a city break to Rome for 4 days for our first holiday and built it up from there... In 2006 we spent a month travelling around China, last year we spent 3 weeks in Japan and the August just gone we did a roadtrip across the States. It can be done!
And tell him travel broadens the mind!!
GOOD LUCK!

cafecolour

Take things slowly and he could warm up - US is a good suggestion. Scandanavia or the netherlands as well, as almost everyone there speaks excellent to good English.

It could also be he feels a tad emascalated basically having to rely on you for the trip, besides just the general fears.

Compromise is key, yes. I had a relationship where my idea of traveling was hiking/exploring/adventure travel and my ex's idea was lying on a beach with a drink for two weeks. So we tried to find places with both options accessible.

chuckles30

I was never out of the country until after I finished college as my parents couldn't afford it, but I love going off now for my holidays, so the fact that he hasn't done a lot of travelling as a child shouldn't be the problem. Personally I always do lots of reading about where I'm going before I go......which I find really helps me know what I want to do when I get there. Perhaps if you decide on where you want to go, he could do some reading (books or on the net) and see what he'd like to do when you get there. It might also help him be more comfortable with the idea....