Sister

Volvoboy

Well, i've just seen my younger sister off to her 1st debs (not her one)
And over the past while she's been going out with a fella, I'm trying to tell her all the things i experenced for the 1st time at her age, not that long ago only 4 years between us.


Am i being to over proctecive?

Or would it be better to let her make her own mistakes?


She's turning 18 next month, scary:(

Silverfish

Well yes, considering men and women are different, there's only some of your mistakes she can learn from

My sister's a lot younger than me, the only advice I ever gave her was 'Its about to lash out there, you'll need something with a hood'


Other than that, she can only learn from her own mistakes. Its like martial arts or whatever, you can tell someone something 50,000 times, its only when they experience it themselves that it clicks into place.

Volvoboy

Silverfish wrote: »

Well yes, considering men and women are different, there's only some of your mistakes she can learn from

My sister's a lot younger than me, the only advice I ever gave her was 'Its about to lash out there, you'll need something with a hood'


Other than that, she can only learn from her own mistakes. Its like martial arts or whatever, you can tell someone something 50,000 times, its only when they experience it themselves that it clicks into place.

True enough, ya cant put a old head on young sholders and all that.

Just teaching her dont let a fella buy you drink unless ya know them, i am'nt ready to be a uncle to a bastard child, dont leave your drink down even for a minuite.

Just ya know common sense stuff.

Suppose it driffent to having a sister when ya are a gril to having a little sister being a lad.

Dudess

Don't overdo the "I'm her big brother and therefore I've a right to be protective of her" thing either. It's quite patronising - and rather hypocritical. I used to get shyte from my brothers but it was fine for them to get pissed, take drugs and ride around when they were my age at the time. I know it's a bit different for lads but girls can take care of themselves too.

LivingDeadGirl

Volvoboy wrote: »

bastard child

I don't think we use that term anymore. :rolleyes:

Volvoboy

LivingDeadGirl wrote: »

I don't think we use that term anymore. :rolleyes:

Right, how about.


''Open yer legs out pops a childer, an ya ge a free gaf off teh corpo?''

Or

''A child out of wedlock''


Personally the latter is very 1940 Cataholic Ireland.

leprehaungirl

Im nearly 18 and would absolutly love an older brother..I think its really sweet that you want to give her advice and stuff.Dont over do it or anything but just let her no if she needs anything that your there.

Zaph

Or how about just leaving it at "i am'nt ready to be a uncle"?

Volvoboy

leprehaungirl wrote: »

Im nearly 18 and would absolutly love an older brother..I think its really sweet that you want to give her advice and stuff.Dont over do it or anything but just let her no if she needs anything that your there.

Well i have done, she's being going out to Barcode for the 1st few times, i always pick her up and that.

Zaph wrote: »

Or how about just leaving it at "i am'nt ready to be a uncle"?

As somone has already pointed out, brothers are hypocrytical (sp), i dont have a problem with girls getting preggers young, just not my sister!

Zaph

Volvoboy wrote: »

As somone has already pointed out, brothers are hypocrytical (sp), i dont have a problem with girls getting preggers young, just not my sister!

That wasn't the point I was making. The point I was making was that your post would have been just as effective had you stopped at that point, rather than adding the "bastard child" part.

However as I have 3 younger sisters of my own I know exactly where you're coming from. Lot of good it did though, but I do now have some great nephews and an adorable baby niece, so being an uncle ain't all that bad.

F.A.

Being a younger sister myself, I would detest any kind of unwanted 'advice' from you and feel it was very much patronising and condescending. If you have a good/close relationship, she will come to you if she feels the need. I know I did. If you don't have that type of relationship, all the less reason to play the big-brother-knows-best card. However, that's just me.

Volvoboy

F.A. wrote: »

Being a younger sister myself, I would detest any kind of unwanted 'advice' from you and feel it was very much patronising and condescending. If you have a good/close relationship, she will come to you if she feels the need. I know I did. If you don't have that type of relationship, all the less reason to play the big-brother-knows-best card. However, that's just me.

We'd have a good relation ship in that respect.

Rozabeez

I'd feel incredibly awkward if either of my brothers tried to give me advice. They both back off and leave me to it, one is a year and a half older, the other is 15 years older with his own daughter to worry about. However when it's needed, the younger of the two or his best friend will jump in and do the protective big brother act, usually put across in the lines, "Do you want me to beat him up for you?"

Zaph

MagicMarker, another post like that and you're banned for a fortnight.

stovelid

I think I'm speaking for all the chaps here when I say that our little sisters don't (or won't ever) have sex. Even when they're in their 30s and 40s. OK?

F.A.

F.A. wrote: »

Being a younger sister myself, I would detest any kind of unwanted 'advice' from you and feel it was very much patronising and condescending. If you have a good/close relationship, she will come to you if she feels the need. I know I did. If you don't have that type of relationship, all the less reason to play the big-brother-knows-best card. However, that's just me.

Well tough, just beause Mammy and Daddy had softened up by the time they got around to you.
Doesn't mean your going to get any easier of a time than we big sisters did.
Pointing out the right way to do your thing, is our birthright.

F.A.

Moonbaby, we're talking about the older brother/younger sister scenario, so no older sisters involved. The 'parents softened up' part you can forget about as well, 'toughened up' more like it, actually. :mad:

As it stands, I can categorily deny that my brother went through anything I did, nor would I ever claim I know what it's like to be him. We do, however, help each other when a male/female perspective on things is needed and wanted. My brother knows me too well to ever attempt to patronise me, yet he's always been there when I needed him. He's perfect that way.

I guess it helped that I weed on him on our first encounter, clearly establishing some bounderaries.

Zzippy

F.A. wrote: »

I guess it helped that I weed on him on our first encounter, clearly establishing some bounderaries.

:eek:

Were you "establishing boundaries" or marking your territory??? :pac:

Dragan

Have an older sister and a younger one and never felt the need to get involved in eithers life except when i was asked.

Girls are people too.:)

F.A.

You calling me a dog?

Not my fault he insisted on holding me between changes. Bah! :P Nah, he's the bestest big brother in the world. I was probably just making sure he knew not to mess with me.

WindSock

I grew up with bad advice from my brother, why change the habit of a lifetime

F.A.

F.A. wrote: »

I guess it helped that I weed on him on our first encounter, clearly establishing some bounderaries.

Dave147

I've 2 younger sisters and would do anything for them.. My 20 year old sister went out with a friend of mine before, I trusted him and jokingly (maybe not jokingly) warned him not to mess my sister around. Though things didn't work out he treated her well. I will only get involved if I know shes seeing a scumbag, she's clever enough but she appreciates she has an older brother just in case

RuailleBuaille

Volvoboy wrote: »

Well, i've just seen my younger sister off to her 1st debs (not her one)
And over the past while she's been going out with a fella, I'm trying to tell her all the things i experenced for the 1st time at her age, not that long ago only 4 years between us.


Am i being to over proctecive?

Or would it be better to let her make her own mistakes?


She's turning 18 next month, scary:(

In my experience, people only pay heed to advice when it goes along the lines they were planning to follow anyway, otherwise, forget it.

Keep an eye and be there when she needs you but her mistakes are hers and you wouldn't deny her the best lesson in growth there is would you?

Won't be long til she seeks you out anyway ( Iahve 4 younger sisters) and I think she'll be quuicker to do this if it won't be a lecture. Be gentle, teenagers are a difficult breed!

Kotick

Retarded question alert!!!!
What's a deb?

WindSock

Debs or Debutaunte Ball is Irelands equilavlent to a Prom.

Volvoboy

Well the debs went well yer man was a bit of an asshole - my sisters words not mine!


So it looks like she dosent need my help as much as i thought:(


But hey, at least she'll always come to me if needs be.:)


Thanks for the help folks!

Rozabeez

How do older brothers generally feel about their friends scoring their younger sister?

'cause there are one or two of my brother's friends that I just would.

Volvoboy

Rozabeez wrote: »

How do older brothers generally feel about their friends scoring their younger sister?

'cause there are one or two of my brother's friends that I just would.

I wouldnt entertain the notion, there is alway the ''Your ma/sister is a ride'' messin that goes on between lads, but i dont know of any of my mates messin around with other mates Sisters.

And there's an age thing too, i wouldnt look twice at a girl under 18, i'm 21.

bnagrrl

You can't wrap your sister up in cotton wool and you may find the more you try to protect her the more she'll rebel against you. Let her learn from her own mistakes.

Just be her friend, be there if she needs you or comes to you for advice. That's the best thing you can do for her as her brother.

I have an older bro, 8 year gap, if he came to me when I was a teenager and started giving me advice about what it's like etc etc... oh god, CRINGE! Even the thought of it makes me shudder! We have a great, close relationship but I draw the line at unsolicited advice.

Volvoboy

bnagrrl wrote: »

You can't wrap your sister up in cotton wool and you may find the more you try to protect her the more she'll rebel against you. Let her learn from her own mistakes.

Just be her friend, be there if she needs you or comes to you for advice. That's the best thing you can do for her as her brother.

I have an older bro, 8 year gap, if he came to me when I was a teenager and started giving me advice about what it's like etc etc... oh god, CRINGE! Even the thought of it makes me shudder! We have a great, close relationship but I draw the line at unsolicited advice.

Haha, always remeber she was going out, her fella was at the door.


From the living room i shouted ''IF your gonna be riding make sure to use a johnny''


Needless to say the door slamed and there was a fast getaway made.:pac:

Rozabeez

Volvoboy wrote: »

I wouldnt entertain the notion, there is alway the ''Your ma/sister is a ride'' messin that goes on between lads, but i dont know of any of my mates messin around with other mates Sisters.

And there's an age thing too, i wouldnt look twice at a girl under 18, i'm 21.

Lol, do people still stick with the 3 year rule?!

Volvoboy

Rozabeez wrote: »

Lol, do people still stick with the 3 year rule?!

Well, i do:D