Embarrssing Issue

LegacyUser · 12-09-2008 12:51pm #1

Ok, so i've just starting seeing/sleeping with this guy that i knew for a while and we're really just at the early stages of things.
I like him and I'm still at the stage where i'm worried what he really thinks of me...like whether i look o.k. when he's around, or whether dot the I's and cross my T's in front of him...kinda thing?

Now, I've had this issue with hayfever for the past while and some different kind of allergies to things, itchy skin etc. My scalp has been ridiculously itchy for the past few weeks and me thinking it was one of my allergies have been taking an anti-histamine for it, and buying anti-dandruff shampoo.

Turns out last night i looked and i have head lice. I'm so unbelievably disgusted. I have no idea where i got them from and I cant believe i've had them for the past few weeks and not done anything about them. I was 2 hours late for work this morning because i spent 4 hours combing and making sure i was getting rid of them since about 7am.

My problem is...should i tell this guy I'm seeing? I'm going on a date with him tonight and I'm morto. Like, he's bound to have them now as we've been in clothes proximity to eachother alot and hugging etc.

I really don't want him to be disgusted with me, and as we're on new ground (not sure how long this dating thing will last) and to turn him off. But then i dont want him to figure it out on his own as he's bound to have them now and he can only just guess he got them from me?

Any idea's as to what i should do? Sorry if I'm being a bit over dramatic about this but it is really something i'm worrying about!

Porkpie · 12-09-2008 2:46pm

I definitely think you should be honest and tell him. It would be worse if he found out himself and put 2 and 2 together. If he accepts you, head lice and all, he's worth staying with. If not, I'd regard that as being really inconsiderate and I'd have serious doubts about him as proper boyfriend potential. Head lice, come on, it's not the end of the world, you don't have leprosy, do you?

tbh · 12-09-2008 2:47pm

how do you know you didn't catch them off him? Head lice prefer clean hair, so don't worry about that aspect of it. If it were me, i wouldn't say anything - if he hasn't caught them, there's no need. If he has, he'll tell you, and you can tell him then. but it's not really a big deal, don't worry.

brianthebard · 12-09-2008 2:49pm

Do you work with kids or were you around some or animals even that might have lice? If you can figure out where you got them tell him. If you don't tell him then he will probably notice as you said, but might get the impression that your hygiene is not up to scratch which you don't want. Although a third option is that you got them from him! :eek:

Xcellor · 12-09-2008 2:53pm

Eww. poor you. Do you play sports with physical contact or share hairbrushes with other people?

He may not have them. Perhaps you can fix yourself first and then he won't know where he got them from... (the not so honest approach)

Hah, reminds me of the desperate house wifes prog that I watched where your one has crabs and had given them to her husband and she needed to use medicated stuff on him haha because she didn't want him finding out she was sleeping with her ex.

Course you might be completely honest with him and just say you have them. If you are still together come a years time you will look back and laugh together

Best of luck!!!

Miss Fluff · 12-09-2008 2:58pm

Keep shtum, some things are on a strictly need to know basis. Chances are he may have them too but I doubt he'll tell you. Say nothing.

Wurly · 12-09-2008 3:00pm

You could have got them from him and he hasn't said anything.

If he does have them, he's unlikely to think he got them from you.. Just like you never thought you may have got them from him. He'd be too busy trying to get rid of them - just as you are.

Say nothing.

Mr. Incognito · 12-09-2008 3:00pm

Did you use medicated shampoo?

Combing won't get the nits.

Imo it's no big deal and if you don't tell him you might get them back off him.

Here's a suggestion:

I'd ask him to call round and you have some head lice shampoo ready and suggest a joint shower. You wash my hair, I wash yours sorta thing. In the middle of that rolly polly he won't notice the shampoo brand.

Presto.

Morlar · 12-09-2008 3:00pm

If you have them chances are your boyfriend does too - so if you get your hair sorted out but dont tell him then you will just get them back from him (if he doesnt get his sorted at the same time too).

So you should tell him, as someone else said its a possibility that you got them from him to begin with if he is a new factor in your life that coincided with their arrival its a possibility at least (regardless of your other comments about thinking it was related to allergies etc).

beth-lou · 12-09-2008 3:01pm

Don't get too worried about it. I've had them twice in the last year, thanks to having a 6 year old who is in school with long hair. I have long hair too. And once we found them on her we all had to be treated.

I'd tell him, because if you don't, and he has them, you'll just get them again. All you have to say is that you found one. You don't have to go into details. Tell him you'll check his head for him, make a laugh out of it. They do breed quite quickly so I'd get on the case straight away and wash your bed clothes and jackets etc that you've been wearing.

I do feel for you, but they are more common than you'd think, and easily dealt with.

beth-lou · 12-09-2008 3:03pm

SetantaL wrote: »

Did you use medicated shampoo?

Combing won't get the nits.

Imo it's no big deal and if you don't tell him you might get them back off him.

Here's a suggestion:

I'd ask him to call round and you have some head lice shampoo ready and suggest a joint shower. You wash my hair, I wash yours sorta thing. In the middle of that rolly polly he won't notice the shampoo brand.

Presto.

Wasn't that how the wife in desperate housewives tried to treat her hubby for crabs??? It stinks and you have to leave it in for a while, so that won't really work. Funny though.

Pigletlover · 12-09-2008 3:16pm

tbh wrote: »

how do you know you didn't catch them off him? Head lice prefer clean hair, so don't worry about that aspect of it. If it were me, i wouldn't say anything - if he hasn't caught them, there's no need. If he has, he'll tell you, and you can tell him then. but it's not really a big deal, don't worry.

+1 There's nothing to say you didn't get them from him. Don't say anything fo now.

dlambirl · 12-09-2008 3:19pm

Why is it when the word "lice" is mentioned i itch like crazy?!!!

Dont say anything OP... but keep an eye out to see if he is itching his head or anything

beth-lou · 12-09-2008 3:23pm

Don't say anything at your peril.
If he has them you are going to need to treat your head every week until he cops on to them. Nip it in the bud now. I'm telling you, they're randy buggers. I took 16 out of my daughters head and that doesn't include the eggs. Some people don't itch from their bites, so he mightn't show any symptoms.

greenapplesea · 12-09-2008 3:24pm

Be careful though because if you treat them and he gets them and you say nothing, he might pass them back to you. Wait and see if he's itching. He may not have gotten them.

LegacyUser · 12-09-2008 3:25pm

Thanks for that guys. I'm still really unsure of what to do. I sincerely doubt i got them from him, although I suppose it is a possibilty?

I have no idea where i got them from...I dont know any kids i could of gotten them from, as in, i have no relatives or kids of my own that i've been hanging around with.

I've shared my own hairbrush with my housemate who keeps using it? But i dont think i got them from her either...wouldn't she have told me she had them?

My parents are telling me not to mention it to my housemates at all, but surely i need to? I'm ridiculously embarrassed about the whole thing. Like RIDICULOUSLY. I dont have an excuse as to where i got them like? I've no kids to blame them on!!!

I might've gotten them from a guy i kissed a month ago or so...or a girl at the electric picnic with dreadlocks who gave me a lend of her wristband thing to tie my hair back?!

I've boiled washed all my sheets, and bleached my hairbrush...do i have to clean ALL my jackets as well?!! What a nightmare?!

I'm heading out on a date tonight with him, and we were flirting by text earlier and planning an early night

..although the only problem being i don't feel in ANYWAY sexy after the morning I've had of medicating my head!!?!!

geuro · 12-09-2008 3:29pm

if i was going on a date with a girl who i genuinely liked at the start of a relationship and she told me she had nits and she was morto i would:

- think twice about whether it was worth going out with her if she uses words like 'morto'
- hope she didn't get them off me
- think it was cool of her to tell me, and respect her for doing so
- get some fancy shampoo
- keep seeing her as long as she didnt keep saying 'morto' all the time

tbh · 12-09-2008 3:45pm

unreg1974a wrote: »

Thanks for that guys. I'm still really unsure of what to do. I sincerely doubt i got them from him, although I suppose it is a possibilty?

I have no idea where i got them from...I dont know any kids i could of gotten them from, as in, i have no relatives or kids of my own that i've been hanging around with.

I've shared my own hairbrush with my housemate who keeps using it? But i dont think i got them from her either...wouldn't she have told me she had them?

My parents are telling me not to mention it to my housemates at all, but surely i need to? I'm ridiculously embarrassed about the whole thing. Like RIDICULOUSLY. I dont have an excuse as to where i got them like? I've no kids to blame them on!!!

I might've gotten them from a guy i kissed a month ago or so...or a girl at the electric picnic with dreadlocks who gave me a lend of her wristband thing to tie my hair back?!

I've boiled washed all my sheets, and bleached my hairbrush...do i have to clean ALL my jackets as well?!! What a nightmare?!

I'm heading out on a date tonight with him, and we were flirting by text earlier and planning an early night ..although the only problem being i don't feel in ANYWAY sexy after the morning I've had of medicating my head!!?!!

replace "nits" with "a cold". Are you still embarrased?

LegacyUser · 12-09-2008 3:51pm

you gave the guy head lice, the least you can do is tell him.

Mr. Incognito · 12-09-2008 4:12pm

you gave the guy head lice, the least you can do is tell him.

Whoa there, you don't have to be sherlock holmes to figure there's a possibility she got them from HIM.

All the more reason to cosy up in the shower with some sexy medicated shampoo. Oh baby.

valleyoftheunos · 12-09-2008 4:13pm

You have to tell him and make sure he gets rid of them, otherwise he'll just pass em straight back to you.

And of course you may well have gotten them from him in the first place!

SoupyNorman · 12-09-2008 5:30pm

wow100 wrote:

you gave the guy head lice, the least you can do is tell him.

And the least you could do is read the thread.

SetantaL wrote: »

Whoa there, you don't have to be sherlock holmes to figure there's a possibility she got them from HIM.

All the more reason to cosy up in the shower with some sexy medicated shampoo. Oh baby.

There aint nothing sexy about that medicated shampoo, ya would'nt want to be lathering each other up in the stuff fo sho!

OP, get that said shampoo and fully treat your hair. As was said the comb is not enough. You should treat your hair a few times over a couple of weeks. Do not let anyone use belongings that could cross contaminate and dont tell your male admirer for the moment. Instead, just sort yourself out first.

Its a real social taboo but its nothing you did on your part, Dreadlocks girl sounds like the source to me...I find dreads vomit inducing. If Your future husband gets it too he'll deal with it himself.

Seraphina · 12-09-2008 5:35pm

dreadlocks girl is actually highly unlikely to be the source of them. the hair is too tangled and matted for the crabs to deal with, and there is too much natural oil from the scalp permeating the hair.

housemate is the culprit i'd say. she might be in contact with kids or something, you dont know.

MagicMarker · 12-09-2008 6:08pm

This is head-lice not Aids.

If he has them he'll find out soon enough and take appropriate action.

crosstownk · 12-09-2008 7:25pm

Head lice - not the end of the world. Quite common at this time year now that schools are back in session. If you (or him) have any contact with young school kids then there's a good chance you'll encounter head lice.

More info here.

LegacyUser · 13-09-2008 7:03pm

What do they look like?The shampoo i used seemed to work for a while but now they're back. And i'm wondering if it really is headlice i have. I googled them and they look like brown/black insects, whereas i have thin grey things, the width of a hair, no legs or wings, like insects. And there cud be 100 of them, not like 16. And i read that lice dont jump, but when i shake my head, there's all these grey things in the air so i dont know what it is. Could it be, gulp, fleas? I dont know how i cud admit this to my bf...has anyone come across this before or does it sound exactly like lice? Thanks

Nevyn · 13-09-2008 8:34pm

The full grown head lice are brown/black inects the legs they lay, the 'nits' are long, thin and grey/white.

IF you are not sure go to your dr.

GirlInterrupted · 13-09-2008 9:37pm

SetantaL wrote: »

Did you use medicated shampoo?

Combing won't get the nits.

Imo it's no big deal and if you don't tell him you might get them back off him.

Here's a suggestion:

I'd ask him to call round and you have some head lice shampoo ready and suggest a joint shower. You wash my hair, I wash yours sorta thing. In the middle of that rolly polly he won't notice the shampoo brand.

Presto.

He might notice her combing out the eggs and leaving the poisonous smelling medication for two hours.......:D

Posy · 14-09-2008 8:40pm

Lice wrote: »

What do they look like?The shampoo i used seemed to work for a while but now they're back.

Have you seen your boyfriend since? It is possible that you did get rid of them but he has them and has passed them back. I know you don't believe us, but it IS nothing to be ashamed of. A girl I shared a house with in college got them and had to tell us she'd been volunteering in a school with autistic children and there was an outbreak of lice. We were all 'in the clear' but the general consensus was 'fair play, volunteering with autistic children' not' ew, lice- how gross.'

wylo · 14-09-2008 9:36pm

Caderyn wrote: »

A girl I shared a house with in college got them and had to tell us she'd been volunteering in a school with autistic children and there was an outbreak of lice.

There you go OP, an excuse like that and he cant complain

Alicat · 14-09-2008 11:08pm

Just so you know, a lot of the medicated shampoos and treatments don't kill most of the eggs(nits). They get the lice but can't permeate the shell of the eggs. There's a Lyclear Spray Away treatment that you spray on the hair and it actually encases the lice and eggs so that they can't breathe and so they die. And it means they can't develop a resistance to the treatment as they are no pesticides.

Cover your hair in conditioner and comb it every night for a week. The conditioner stops the lice and eggs from gripping so tightly to the hair and helps to slide them right off.

The lice eggs hatch roughly every 7 days so repeat the Lyclear treatment a week after the first time. Hopefully that means you catch any 'newborn' lice as they hatch that weren't caught with the first treatment.

They are said to 'dislike' tea tree oil. You can put a few drops into your normal shampoo to help deter them.

P.S. Make sure you get the Lyclear Spray Away not the normal Lyclear stuff.

Therickmachine · 15-09-2008 1:22am

unreg1974a wrote: »

My problem is...should i tell this guy I'm seeing? I'm going on a date with him tonight and I'm morto. Like, he's bound to have them now as we've been in clothes proximity to eachother alot and hugging etc.

I really don't want him to be disgusted with me, and as we're on new ground (not sure how long this dating thing will last) and to turn him off. But then i dont want him to figure it out on his own as he's bound to have them now and he can only just guess he got them from me?

Any idea's as to what i should do? Sorry if I'm being a bit over dramatic about this but it is really something i'm worrying about!

Tell him!
Its just head lice. Extremely common amongst kids and yes adults can get them and its not the end of the world.

I caught them at the grand old age of 23 off my baby sister. I just used the shampoo and combed them out. I didn t feel a bit embaressed. Could happen to anyone:)

Im a teacher who lives with the risk of head lice. It really isn t a big deal!

how do you know you didn't catch them off him? Head lice prefer clean hair, so don't worry about that aspect of it. .

Not true at all. Head lice just want a warm head of hair regardless whether the hair is dirty or not. Thats a popular myth that they prefer clean hair according to doctors.

Do you work with kids or were you around some or animals even that might have lice? If you can figure out where you got them tell him. If you don't tell him then he will probably notice as you said, but might get the impression that your hygiene is not up to scratch which you don't want. Although a third option is that you got them from him!

If he thinks you are dirty because you have head lice then he is an idiot:rolleyes: ANYONE can get headlice regardless of age, cleaniness or hair length. Im really surprised some people don t know this!
By the way, head lice cannot be transferred from animal to human.

The lice eggs hatch roughly every 7 days so repeat the Lyclear treatment a week after the first time. Hopefully that means you catch any 'newborn' lice as they hatch that weren't caught with the first treatment

.
Very good advice. We tried Lyclear, whilst it worked on me and my mother. My sister required 4 treatments and still wasn t lice free. Pharmacist said the little buggers (lice) can develop an immunity to treatments and got us some really toxic smelling stuff that actually did the trick. But he did say as a last resort to use that.

Embarrssing Issue

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