Clothes shop fears

LegacyUser

Hi,

I have what I would think to be an unusual problem. Basically, every time I shop for clothes by myself, I feel extremely uncomfortable.

For example, today I went into town to buy a new shirt for an occasion. I went into several stores but could only get a quick glance at everything because I was breaking into a sweat and had to leave each store after a few minutes. I literally start sweating as soon as I walk in, and as much as I know there's no reason to feel like that, I can't help it.

If I'm with someone there's no problem, but whenever I shop for clothes specifically by myself, this happens. I think I feel like the staff are judging me by what I'm wearing or what I'm looking at. That's part of it. I get even more nervous if a member of staff approaches me to help me choose something, I hate it. I start sweating more, I turn red as a tomato and feel like an idiot.

It's not really a fear as such, because I'm not afraid to go in, but once I'm in there I can't wait to just get it over with and get out.

Can anyone relate or give good advice for conquering this??

JC 2K3

Yeah actually I can relate to that. I don't know why but I used to always feel very stupid looking at clothes in clothes shops. This also used to happen to me in any kind of small shop, especially empty ones, where I felt I was being watched by the assistant/shopkeeper. Doesn't happen to me that badly any more, but I still often want to get out of clothes shops as fast as possible, especially if there're a lot of people around.

I suppose the best way to overcome it is to keep telling yourself that what you're doing, ie. going into a shop and having a look around for as long as you like, is perfectly normal and to keep in mind that the shop workers, as well as other customers present don't actually care much about your presence at all.

Miss Fluff

As a compulsive shopper known by name in Dublin by probably everyone in retail no I can't lol:)

Tbh though I think it's natural enough, especially when "occasion" buying where you think to yourself "f8ck, I have to buy blah-dee-blah" or else. Says a lot that you can do it with friends (when obviously relaxed) and yet can't on your own. My advice? All about battle of wills tbh. If a retail assistant is overly attentive all you have to say is, in a very polite confident manner, that you're going to have a look around, thanks for offer of help and will come and get them if you need help with anything. Fair enough, they are happy to hear that tbh. That's one monkey off their back. IT IS OKAY TO SPEND HALF AN HOUR IN A SHOP WITHOUT BUYING ANYTHING. That's where Dublin and the likes of NYC differ for example.

Using your example of occasion buying - don't go shopping the day before where you have sweat beads running down the crack of your arse with anxiety in the compulsion to buy something THAT DAY. If you have an occassion to attend, if at all possible, go a few weeks beforehand when you can PERUSE my dear rather than perspire unncessarily and give yourself a complex.

You've nothing to worry about, trust me....!

LegacyUser

I have a similar problem, im glad its not just me. If im in a smaller store with not a lot of customers i feel real paranoid like the staff are looking at me and i dont want to try anything on, its not as bad in a large department store type place like dunnes or arnotts. Add to this the fact im really picky with clothes means i dont have much clothes.

RossFixxxed

I'm seriously like that too. Totally freak out when it comes to clothes shops, shops I dont' know well and public toilets (shudder).

It does get easier with practice I will say. I have to go get shoes and runners this weekend and am NOT a happy monkey. But I'll go anyway and it helps to keep in mind the people there are just like you, bored in work and you can always work on making their day a bit more fun...

Or we could all just meet up and go as the boardsie shopping crew. Sounds F.A.B. no?

Listen don't worry mate, we all have irrational fears. I knew a guy who vomited every time he even SAW a banana. Which really lead to hilarious results.

R

Firesuite

I get a bit intimidated by staff in quiet shops sometimes, but it mostly doesn't put me off! It's a whole lot worse in America when they actually _are_ following you around and watching what you pick up.

I prefer internet shopping for cost and convenience at the moment anyway, maybe consider that!

fits

This is mad. I get like that too sometimes. Sometimes i literally had to walk out of places when I was a bit younger. I'm not so bad anymore. It depends on the day really.

I dont really have any advice really only tell yourself what you're going to do and how it will be grand before you walk into the shop.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all your replies! It's a relief that most of you are like this or have felt like that at some stage. The general jist of what I'm getting is that you've all learned to conquer it eventually, which is encouraging. I reached my breaking point yesterday because I was so embarrassed so I had to see if there was any quick-fix.

I suppose in future I'll actually try to force myself to stay in the shop until I realise there's nothing to sweat over because at this stage it's getting ridiculous.

The story about the banana guy is a big consolation too. Jesus.

RossFixxxed

Happy to oblidge! I assume he's now living in antartica or something!

If there is anyone to go with maybe seperate for a few minutes and do a bit of your own shopping... Take it in stages. It does get easier as I said!

Good luck!
Ross

LegacyUser

Same here. Get the sweats and palpitations, feel like im gonna have a panic attack in clothes shops. I can walk around maplins for hours though, its wierd.

Cant stand the places, just buy clothes online now instead.

Nevyn

Yup it can be hard to go clothes shopping I hate it, I rarely like anything that is in fashion and when I do they usually never have it in my size and dealing with snotty fashionesta retail assistants makes me want to punch them in thier smug faces.

I won't go clothes shopping unless I am in the right frame of mind as it is stress I don't need, I will try and wear clothes I feel happy and confident in before I go clothes shopping, esp if it is an outfit for certain ocassion.

Usaully when I do find something that I like and is in my size I will by 3 to 4 of them in a range of colours and that way I can hopefully put of shopping again for quiet some time.

Online shopping can be very hit or miss with sizes and how a garment fits or hangs.

Pj!

Haha, me too at times.

Interesting topic!!

Alun

I'm like that too. I hate small shops with nosey assistants, that generally aren't of any use to anyone either. I should add that I'm a very 'directed' clothes shopper .. I decide I need to buy something, generally because the old one is worn out. I never buy clothes on a whim, or just 'go shopping' for no reason, that would seem weird to me.

My ideal shop would be a huge warehouse with everything in stock and available in every size and colour with absolutely no assistants anywhere in sight, but the best approximation I can find is somewhere like M&S. Basically, if I go out with a 'mission' to buy, say, a new pair of jeans, I'll try one or two big stores, and if I can't find what I want within about 30 minutes, I'll just give up and go home.