What the hell is wrong with me

LegacyUser

Ok so i have a beautiful girl friend who i love for the last two years....

Last night i was at home (we don't live together) bored and i just so happened to go on a web chat room. got talking to a girl from a city about 2 hours away, we flirted a bit and long story short in the heat of moment (when i was thinking with my other head) i gave her my phone number the number of another sim i have so as gf wouldn't see texts.

We text each other, had "sex text" or whatever you wanna call it talked about meeting up....
we said good night , i bet the bishop...and now im rideled with guilt i feel like i cheated on the gf, shes the most wounder ful girl ever.

she may be a bit vanilla in the bedroom sometimes and i think the fact that this other girl was offering me dark chocolate just made my sex drive take the place of rational thought.

although i still havent deleted her number or stopped txting.....

Karen_*

Stop texting and delete her number. Isn't that the obvious thing to do?

Its up to yourself but you're making it out like you've been possessed and have absolutely no control of the situation when you do.

Solarball10

:rolleyes: You had no control? EVERYONE has some control, they just need to decide if they want to use it or not.
You just so happened to go into a chat room? You were obviously hoping to find something/someone to have a bit of "cyber" fun with.

Shame on you, tell your g/f (who you don't love, by the way, because that's not the actions of "love")so she can get rid of your sorry ass.

Miss Fluff

What's the PI exactly? That you think you cheated on your GF? Depends how "riddled" with guilt you are. You say you are and yet you are still continuing to text this other girl. You can't have your cake and eat it buddy so probably best to decide what you REALLY want....

not yet

Shame on you...

Dark chocolate my arse, chocolate is chocolate.

missyb

You posted because you wanted everyone to tell you not to worry that you just got carried away and give you sympathy,you act like you have no control but you choose to behave the way you have. Your girlfirends Vanilla? Well she can do a lot better than you thats for sure.

Little Miss Cutie

What were you thinking? If your bored at home call your gf, or watch telly don't go searching the net for someone else.

There maybe some people who will tell you that what you did isn't cheating, but I'm not one of them. What you did was wrong and you don't deserve your gf!

As for calling her vanilla, you should be ashamhed! Things in the bedroom could be different if you made an effort with her instead of search the net for cheap thrills

RossFixxxed

Man it's a pretty dirty way to go. Delete the number.

You have the options
1) come clean to your gf.
2) Delete the numbers and never do it again and stay quiet.
3) keep the number... and see what happens. If you are that 'wracked with guilt' then you shouln't be considering this.

You're not being entirely honest I feel. You seem to want more out of all this... Open up?

Porkpie

I don't know what you should do but I do know this - I've got to buy me a webcam!

Aurora Borealis

If you don't want vanilla anymore and fancy dark chocolate then do something about it.

It's one thing having fantasies but following through with them means you're not in the right relationship. Stay doing what you're doing and in my opinion you're doing neither yourself nor your girlfriend any favours as neither of you are in the relationship meant for you right now.

sam34

am i right in thinking you have 2 mobile phones/sim cards?
if so - why so?
seems like an unusual thing to do - you say you gave her the no of a secons sim so your gf wouldnt see texts- sounds like this isnt the first time youve cheated, and that you have 2nd sim "just in case" this scenario arises

citeal

Reading this post made me feel sick.

I found out my ex had been at this $hit with me. Let me tell you when you're the girlfriend in the scenario it really f**king hurts. So be aware of that when you make your choices. I was disgusted with him & on top of everything else when I read the dialogue (they were skype) I was embarrassed FOR him, he sounded like such a sleazy saddo.

If your girlfriend is a bit vanilla why don't you try spicing things up with her instead of looking elsewhere. For all you know she might be bored with the bedroom side of things too & not know how to broach it with you. if you don't want her, cut her loose.

As for the 'I feel like i cheated' BS, well she may or may not consider it cheating without the physical follow-through but you have certainly betrayed her so don't go fooling yourself about that.

chillywilly

i wouldnt do what you did myself but im not going to judge, just try and give advice.

delete the number and lose all contact with this girl before anything else happens. Try to work on things in the bedroom and talk to your girlfriend about it. Move on and treat her the way you would like to be treated.

The way i look at it is imagine my girlfriend was doing that to me, it makes me feel sick even thinking about it!

hope that helps

LegacyUser

Had a good think about things, realized my gf does not deserve this crap.

deleted that number and destroyed other sim. i didn't actually want to go through with anything i was just being a immature idiot.

Guess i just needed other people to tell me what i knew. Time to focus all my energy on one lady from now on.

the GALL

If your not serious about your girlfriend you've got to let her go. You dont have to tell her why but you should let her on. Also the thing about text sex is you dont actually have to look at the big hairy coal miner your texting;), you can just imagine (s)he's and 18 year old Dannish au pair.
Ye kinky divil ye.:D:D

ralphmalph

its ok to be in to dark chocolate or sh!t eating as its commonly called and its not his fault his gf is so narrow minded...

whatever he does he shouldn't make the mistake of dumping his "dark chocolate" friend...or he'll regret it..Then he should move to cardiff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Karen_*

Ralph the Op's girlfriend and your wife are lucky lucky women that's for sure.:rolleyes:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=57149434#post57149434

Singer73

"text sex"? Did I miss a whole generation or something?

ChocolateSauce

You did cheat, emotionally. In my opinion, what you did is worse than a one night stand with a stranger.

If you truly are guilty and don't want it to happen again, consign it to the past and never look back. Also, don't tell your girlfriend, it will only hurt her. Maybe this loss of sanity will remind you why you love her and make you more comitted than ever?

Also, vanilla is still ice-cream.

MJOR

You behaved in a selfish and totally immature way and I'm not buying that you destroyed the sim. I think its time to move on.... Vanilla obviously isn't your flavour

fig

the trouble about suppressing feelings about "dark chocolate" is that they could pop up in other area's causing issues. Better to research and explore them. fantasy and imagination are your friends in this instance. reality can be rather harsher.

morally you have two choices. 1. forgetaboutit. 2. dump the current girlfriend and chase some internet dream.

practically, trying to spice up a vanilla relationship is a dead end. people are made the way they are, and will change (or not) at their own pace. Better to start a relationship spicy rather than trying to fix it later.

bennyblanco

can someone explain to me this vanilla vs dark chocolate thing please?

SnowMonkey

So you have a gf but met this mistress type online whos a bit dirty and a bit more naughty...

well maybe you should try getting a bit more naughty with your gf, like granted i can see the temptations but at the same time if yoiu love her maybe you should, try it on with your gf before giving up on her for the sake of fullfilling your more naughty desire's.....

Karen_*

bennyblanco wrote: »

can someone explain to me this vanilla vs dark chocolate thing please?

I think it means adventurous or unadventurous in the bedroom. Vanilla being bland. A really lovely way to describe people you love - not.

greenapplesea

You think you did this because your girlfriend is "vanilla" in bed??? Then work on your sex life with her, talk to her about it, put some effort in instead of doing the dirty with some randomer in a chat room. What a ridiculous excuse!!! Her being vanilla does not make what you did acceptable- I HATE that sh*t!!! I think you should come clean and tell her- I'd definately want to know. But be warned- she'll probably dump you as it'll break her heart. Mind you, I can't say you don't deserve it. Just my opinion.

ShooterSF

I dunno after the verbal (and somewhat deserved) battering you received here if you'll still be reading this but is there any chance you might feel you cant do the things you want with your gilfriend because she's your girlfriend. Maybe you've built her up as some holier than thou image who is loving and caring and therefore "can't" have this dark adventurous side you want without destroying the image you have of her.

On the issue at hand you may regret it now but that's no good without being willing to come clean and accept your punishment for it. It's all well and good acting on emotion and writing off responsibilty because of it i.e You wanted a thrill, you got said thrill now you feel guilty. Normal emotional roundabout. It doesnt make it any better.

Being very open minded may I suggest, like others, you look into your heart and see what you really want because if you dont the next spin on the roundabout won't be too far away and you'll keep on rationalising it with the guilt you feel afterwards....

smileysurfer

realized my gf does not deserve this crap.
i didn't actually want to go through with anything i was just being a immature idiot.
QUOTE]

You didnt actually want to go through with anything?? too late a**hole!you had txt sex with this person!! youv cheated!!!!!!!!!

Colonel_McCoy

You have two phone numbers...........one for your gf and another for radomers you pick up....................u have no respect from your gf and ur treating her like crap. You have a lot of growing up to do!

ralphmalph

In fairness, this "text friend" could turn out to be the love of your life.

I was in a similar situation and it led to a deep spiritual and mental connection. I made the mistake of losing her in a silly row over some pictures. And she was very dark chocolate...85% cocoa of you will. As soon as you think she is the one for you, then you can tell your girlfriend the truth

LegacyUser

So he is supposed to cheat with this personal on the net untill such a time as he decides he wants her or to dump his OH??

LegacyUser

ralphmalph wrote: »

In fairness, this "text friend" could turn out to be the love of your life.

I was in a similar situation and it led to a deep spiritual and mental connection. I made the mistake of losing her in a silly row over some pictures. And she was very dark chocolate...85% cocoa of you will. As soon as you think she is the one for you, then you can tell your girlfriend the truth

Excuse me Ralph - are you suggesting that he string along his girlfriend until he's sure about the 'dark chocolate'? How much more disrespectful can you get? If he's not sure about his girlfriend then he should treat her with respect and end it then and there before he does anymore damage behind her back.

chalad07

Jesus maybe everyone should relax a little bit. This wasnt cheating, and it's only a step up from watching porn really. Forget about it, delete the number, and for God sake dont tell your girlfriend. Why would you? To ease your own guilt,

If there comes a time when you are seriously considering meeting up with someone then the alarm bells can start ringing.

Overature

man if you dont stop txting her now your gonna end up loseing your gf that you have at the moment. stop it

Boom_Bap

chalad07 wrote: »

Jesus maybe everyone should relax a little bit. This wasnt cheating, and it's only a step up from watching porn really. Forget about it, delete the number, and for God sake dont tell your girlfriend. Why would you? To ease your own guilt,

If there comes a time when you are seriously considering meeting up with someone then the alarm bells can start ringing.

Right on, the OP texted some strange, got some new wnk bank material and whacked off. Whats the problem?

Miss Fluff

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Right on, the OP texted some strange, got some new wnk bank material and whacked off. Whats the problem?

He's kept her number and is still in contact. So it wasn't a one off and he obviously intends to continue it. If in a supposedly committed relationship, that's a problem tbh

beth-lou

ralphmalph wrote: »

In fairness, this "text friend" could turn out to be the love of your life.

I was in a similar situation and it led to a deep spiritual and mental connection. I made the mistake of losing her in a silly row over some pictures. And she was very dark chocolate...85% cocoa of you will. As soon as you think she is the one for you, then you can tell your girlfriend the truth

So what, he should hedge his bets and wait and see meanwhile indulge in vanilla until the chocolate melts into his arms? I pity any woman who lies in bed with you. So shallow and selfish.
OP I hope ou cop on.

greenapplesea

chalad07 wrote: »

Jesus maybe everyone should relax a little bit. This wasnt cheating, and it's only a step up from watching porn really. Forget about it, delete the number, and for God sake dont tell your girlfriend. Why would you? To ease your own guilt,

If there comes a time when you are seriously considering meeting up with someone then the alarm bells can start ringing.

Sorry how is this a only a step up from porn???? :rolleyes: Porn=watching. Text sex=actively engaging in a sex act. Much much worse.

Regardless of what pathetic excuses you are making for this, it is still technically cheating.

And he should tell his girlfriend- out of respect for her if anything. She deserves to know that she's dating an ass.

greenapplesea

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Right on, the OP texted some strange, got some new wnk bank material and whacked off. Whats the problem?

You don't think what he did is a problem? It certainly is for his girlfriend- are you even thinking about her feelings?? You and OP's attitudes are disgusting.

New wnk bank material?? Grow up and learn some respect.

Boom_Bap

greenapplesea wrote: »

Text sex=actively engaging in a sex act.

?

You're kidding right?

geuro

op i think you should break up with your girlfriend and become some sort of an internet pervert type of character. A real dirty fecker. You could meet lots of slutty girls online and stay up all night banging off in cyberspace. you could even start start watching doggers have sex in cars in the evenings and start trying to gatecrash swinger parties on your own at the weekends. maybe then you could satisfy your insatiable sexual appetite.

or you could cop on and stop acting like a spoilt child. Longterm relationships take commitment and maturity. Not sure you're up to it to be honest.

greenapplesea

Boom_Bap wrote: »

?

You're kidding right?

No I'm not. They had "text sex". He didn't just hold the phone to his ear and do nothing, he reciprocated which means he actively engaged. He didn't have to do it but he chose to. Which part of my statement don't you understand Boom_Bap?

Boom_Bap

greenapplesea wrote: »

No I'm not. They had "text sex". He didn't just hold the phone to his ear and do nothing, he reciprocated which means he actively engaged. He didn't have to do it but he chose to. Which part of my statement don't you understand Boom_Bap?

I'm not trying to have a personal attack on you here. I just didnt realise that this was classified a sex act in this day and age.

chalad07

greenapplesea wrote: »

Sorry how is this a only a step up from porn???? :rolleyes: Porn=watching. Text sex=actively engaging in a sex act. Much much worse.

Regardless of what pathetic excuses you are making for this, it is still technically cheating.

And he should tell his girlfriend- out of respect for her if anything. She deserves to know that she's dating an ass.

I disagree, while it may not be porn, it's not far off. Interactive porn maybe, but certainly not cheating. It's stupid, it's disrespectful to his gf, but is it cheating - no.

I really dont think it's something he should tell his girlfriend at this point. If things go further then maybe, but not now. If he can stop, then put it behind him and never think about it again. No one gets hurt,

greenapplesea

Boom_Bap wrote: »

I'm not trying to have a personal attack on you here. I just didnt realise that this was classified a sex act in this day and age.

I'm not sure if it is officially but I reckon it should be. Is in my book anyway! :eek:

Bendihorse

Erm... Im female and i dont think this is actively engaging in a sex act... Sorry but i dont.

I wouldn't be overjoyed to find out that my boyfriend was at this, but it wouldn't be the end of the world either, as long as he didn't know her and it was casual '**** bank' (as someone so eloquently put it earlier) kind of stuff. (Maybe im a bit more liberal than some, i dont mind him watching porn either)

However, Taking it to mobile text (and having a second sim) is taking it too far alright imo.

To me internet = Fantasy and Make Believe. Text & Phone = Entering someones personal Life and forging a lasting connection.

Silverfish

smileysurfer, 7 day ban for personal abuse.

LegacyUser

OP here.

Just to clarify.

I had a extra sim from an old phone i had, it was sitting in a closet , its not a secret "hook up" sim i keep around.

anyway I deleted the number and threw the sim in the bin.

Im not breaking up with my girlfriend. Im not telling her about the incident , i think it would be just plain stupid to do that as it would just hurt her.

Instead im just going to be a faithful loving boyfriend from now on.

I feel ive been portrayed as some kind of sexual frustrated internet perv monster by some people....which im not, im just a gym who fu**ed up.

chalad07

really dont beat yourself up to much about it mate. At least you didnt cheat, which is what an awful lot of other blokes do. You've done the right thing in forgetting about it, so now just move on,

And you're 100% not telling your girlfriend. It would only hurt her, and would have no positives,

People on here seem to have been very judgmental, painted you to be a monster. You were a little bit silly, but that's the height of it.