Need Answers

coco

Im seeing was this guy at the moment hes lovely hes sweet but his no real ambition in life hes very lay back. I like him but I dont know whether I want him ya see 2 years ago I meet this guy and his was great and fell madly in love with him things ended and were still friends but I still love him and Ive tried to get into other relationships but they either look like him or have a personality like him its weird its like I have to have something like my x. Its really strange.

The guy Im with now has some of his features. Now dont get me wrong Ive been told by friends that a few of my xs look alot like the guy I fell in love with so I decided to go total different I did it lasted a month and it was so horrible.

I dont know what to do I still love my x and he doesnt. I cant tell him because his seeing somebody too and Im terrified he'll never speak to me again and it would break my heart.

My spelling and grammer is crap but if ya can understand plz help

Trinity

coco wrote: »

Im seeing was this guy at the moment hes lovely hes sweet but his no real ambition in life hes very lay back. I like him but I dont know whether I want him ya see 2 years ago I meet this guy and his was great and fell madly in love with him things ended and were still friends but I still love him and Ive tried to get into other relationships but they either look like him or have a personality like him its weird its like I have to have something like my x. Its really strange.

The guy Im with now has some of his features. Now dont get me wrong Ive been told by friends that a few of my xs look alot like the guy I fell in love with so I decided to go total different I did it lasted a month and it was so horrible.

I dont know what to do I still love my x and he doesnt. I cant tell him because his seeing somebody too and Im terrified he'll never speak to me again and it would break my heart.

My spelling and grammer is crap but if ya can understand plz help

If you have no future with your ex and he doesnt feel the same then the best thing would be to break contact. People break up and go through a whole range of emotions but sometimes someone doesnt move on and hang around as 'friends'. This only prolongs the hurt it doesnt stop it.

Friends works for some people but not for all and mostly only works when the people have already moved on emotionally and you are only hurting yoursefl and ruining the chance of future relationships. You have to make the break and it will be really hard, like breaking up all over again but in your situation its something i think you should do.

DOnt hang around waiting on someone that doesnt want you back.

If its meant to be he will come find you and if not maybe Mr right will find you instead. If you are comparing you will never be happy or give any guy a fair chance. There is only one of your ex, and he is your ex for a reason. ANother him and it would probably be over anyway as it was with him.

MagicMarker

You should stop dating completely until you're over your ex, right now it seems you're just trying to replace him.

Aurora Borealis

You need to put your ex and anything associated with him out of your mind. By consistently looking for the same traits physical or otherwise in other people you meet you're only holding onto the past and are also not open to meeting new people and discovering the new and exciting traits they may have to offer.

coco

Ive done things in the last two year I did break thing and stopped talking to my x we still ended up friends this the 3rd time.

Iv also went on a complete break from men it lasted a year and believe me there so only so much of break you can take. Im deprievin myself of sex of which is a great reliever of stress!

I dont know why but I try to let go and his there and theres more we went through things that were so bad that nether of us could cope. But I no if i cant never have him it ok as long as i know hes ok. I dont want him disappear altogther. I no Im sad but I dont want anything to happen him and if i cut him off completely Ill never no if hes ok and Ill never no if hes happy. Its kinda like that song ya no SNOWPATROL "You could be happy, I wont know" I think that would break me.

Aurora Borealis

I know exactly what you're talking about there. I have no contact with an ex of mine, he won't speak to me and though I'm actually at the stage now where I'm happier on my own I still care for him a lot as a person and wonder how he's doing, if he's doing well at the things I know are important to him, if he's happy, how his family are because I really actually genuinely liked them an awful lot. That's normal I think if you've really cared for someone and I don't buy it when people say they don't care. You do whether you admit it or not. If things ended badly those feelings may present themselves as something resembling hate but there's a thin line and you still care.

The difference with this in your case is that you say you're still in love with him and that's my concern. While, for the reasons mentioned above, I understand you don't want him to disappear I really think you're gonna have to cut contact for own sanity until such time as you are over him otherwise you're going to be living in the shadow of this relationship for a long time to come which is not healthy at all.