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Large Hadron Collider

  • 10-09-2008 10:48am
    #1
    rocky25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭


    Scientists at CERN are due to switch on the Large Hadron Collider today,

    and claim there is no chance the world will end from the black holes they create.

    I don't trust them.

    CERN stands for European Nuclear Research Centre.

    If they can't get the fooking letters in the right order for their own acronym,

    Christ only knows what they've done with their equations.

    ~~~~~~~~~
    Today the world could end, when a machine deep below the French-Swiss border,

    will fire two atoms at each other and split them potentially causing a black hole.

    At least the English will get it before we do.

    ~~~~~~~~~~

    How does a welshman turn on the Large Hadron Collider?

    Caerphilly.

    ~~~~~~~~~~

    My Missus just rang me to talk about this Large Hadron Collider thingy.

    I couldn't understand a bloody word of it.

    Its days like this I wish she was Blonde and from Essex.

    ~~~~~~~~~

    After reading about the big experiment today in the Hadron Collider,

    "Recreating the Big Bang".

    It got me thinking why don't the good people of Ireland get Brian Cowen and John Gormley to crash head on at the speed of light and see if we can get any cash out of them?

    We could call it the "Hard-on Collider."

    ~~~~~~~~~

    Isn't it a little amusing that there are so many people terrified that the world will end with the Large Hadron Collider gets turned on?

    Personally, I think it's fooking hilarious that the mighty Yanks are now scared of Switzerland.

    ~~~~~~~~~

    Instead of performing their experiment today, scientists at CERN have decided
    instead to merely release nude pictures of teenagers on their website.

    Now THAT's a Large Hardon Provider.


Comments

  • #2
    monkeyfudge
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,216 ✭✭✭✭monkeyfudge


    rocky25 wrote: »
    Scientists at CERN are due to switch on the Large Hadron Collider today,

    and claim there is no chance the world will end from the black holes they create.

    I don't trust them.

    CERN stands for European Nuclear Research Centre.

    If they can't get the fooking letters in the right order for their own acronym,

    Christ only knows what they've done with their equations.

    It actually stands for "Conseil Européen pour la Recherche Nucléaire"

    But it's now the European Organization for Nuclear Research which in French would give you OERN, which isn't very good so they stuck with CERN.

    There was never any 'centre' in there.


  • #3
    rocky25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭rocky25


    monkeyfudge wrote: »
    There was never any 'centre' in there.

    The middlemen probably stole it :p


  • #4
    dak
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭dak


    monkeyfudge wrote: »
    It actually stands for "Conseil Européen pour la Recherche Nucléaire"

    But it's now the European Organization for Nuclear Research which in French would give you OERN, which isn't very good so they stuck with CERN.

    There was never any 'centre' in there.




    Well OERN really is the short for OERNIE and he was the fastest milkman in the west !!!


  • #5
    rocky25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭rocky25


    dak wrote: »
    Well OERN really is the short for OERNIE and he was the fastest milkman in the west !!!


    Brilliant one Dak :D


  • #6
    Stark
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,084 ✭✭✭✭Stark


    large_hadron_collider.png

    turn-on.png


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  • #7
    galwayrush
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    Bertie will probably claim he created a Black Hole ( It's the econony stupid ) long before the collider was switched on.:p


  • #8
    Dartz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,405 ✭✭✭Dartz


    It's not the fact that it may create a black hole which will swallow the entire planet that worries me.. more it is the thought that I may end up spending an enternity within the same singularity as you people....

    I would be more worried if we were placing some of these quantum scaremongers in the machine instead of just protons and a few lead atoms. After all, when two objects of such large density collide it may punch a hole through the very fabric of spacetime itself...

    So be careful.

    Wear a helmet and dont headbut the desk so hard. You may destroy all of creation. Which, given the fact that we live in creation... will make for a really bad day for us all...

    :P


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