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Shift work is ruining our relationship

  • 07-09-2008 1:15pm
    #1
    redgirl40
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭


    Have to say this to someone because it beginning to get to me. I am with my boyfriend 9 months and it is going well. The only problem is he works for a security company and does shift work so he works 3 nights and 2 day shifts a week

    I don't want to sound selfish as I know shift work is not easy and his sleep pattern is effected but sometimes he is so tired and hardly wants anything to do with me it feels.

    I work a 9 to 5:30 job so look forward to seeing him in the evenings but he seems to nearly always cancel coming over to me or the plans we made and then if I ring him because he is tired we end up fighting.
    I just feel like I always come 2nd and I am the one to get let down because he has no energy to go any where even at weekends yet he has still enough energy for certain things!!!!

    Am I being totally selfish or does something need to change,I know he wants to be with me so that is not the problem and we have spoken about it before but it does not make a difference. Sorry about the rant but any advise would be great


Comments

  • #2
    helpmeplease
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 133 ✭✭helpmeplease


    I don't think its a case of you coming second. Its not like he is picking his friends or family over you, or that he is going on the lash down the pub while you sit home. What do you mean he has energy for certain things?

    I think you'll have to work out if you are happy to continue in the relationship the way it is now. Or else see if he can change job, which might be difficult in the current climate.
    Ask him (calmly) about a compromise arrangement, or ask him how much of a priority the relationship is. He may want to be with you, but he may not have you as a priority. You need to decide if you're ok with that.

    Anyway, bottom line, talk to him.:)


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