Clearing my name....

tallaght01 · 07-09-2008 4:12am #1

There was a lucky lady who got to hang out at the Tallaght01 den of iniquity the other evening.

It was getting late, so I walked her home to her flat around the corner. The night had a distinct chill about it, so I gave her one of my sweaters to wear while we strolled home.

Today she dropped around to give me the sweater back. That was just before I went out shopping.

As I headed out the door, I decided I'd throw on a top....and I grabbed the one she returned. I was wearing my tracksuit bottoms and runners aswell, so I decided to jog the couple of miles to the supermarket.

As I was jogging there, wearing this sweater, I realised it smelled quite strongly of this girl's perfume. As I jogged further, the smell intensified, as body heat always exacerbates the aroma of perfume.

By the time I got to the supermarket I smelled like the a branch of Boots.

So, there I am wandering round the shops STINKING of perfume. I mean, you could smell it everywhere. When I returned to an aisle I'd been on 10 minuted earlier, I could still smell meself from before! As I strolled along trying to look nonchalant about the whole thing, everyone was looking at me. Some even giggled. One bloke winked at me!!!!!!

Standing in the enormous Q was pretty embarrassing, too. There was no denying my spring meadow smell. It ws quite nice actually.

BUT now all my neighbours think I wear perfume.

Is there any way I can go about clearning my name and retaining what was left of my dignity? :P

Ruu_Old · 07-09-2008 4:16am

You ought to have gave the chap who winked at you a smack on the backside.:p Dip the jumper in toilet water and go out for a jog tomorrow, see how it works. Smell of perfume should be removed anyway.

edit: Grow a big dirty beard as well, plenty of matted hair should help.

amacachi · 07-09-2008 4:17am

Don't shower, change your clothes or use deoderant for a few months.

07-09-2008 4:22am

It is too late any decent man would have rolled in the nearest patch of dirt until they smelled healthy.
Of course decent men don't wear tracksuit bottoms. Ever.

LolaLuv · 07-09-2008 4:25am

Moonbaby speaks the truth.

tallaght01 · 07-09-2008 4:25am

Moonbaby wrote: »

.
Of course decent men don't wear tracksuit bottoms. Ever.

Crazy-talk!

My collection of trackies is nothing short of enviable. Stuck in work 10-15 hours a day, you don't wanna come home and wear something uncomfortable.

I used to get called "The white knight" in my last job for sometimes turning up in an adidas finest bright white hooded tracksuit

07-09-2008 4:28am

The I'm a baby doctor lure isn't near enough to get that image out of my mind.
Sorry but you've ruined your appeal.

LolaLuv · 07-09-2008 4:30am

Ha! Are you really a baby doctor? That just makes it even worse, buy some real workout gear ffs, people are supposed to trust you!

Mahatma coat · 07-09-2008 4:33am

Whada ya expec from a tallaghafornian

dude ye've woke up beside a bloke, now yer wearin perfume, this thread needs to be moved to PI

tallaght01 · 07-09-2008 4:33am

I think you'll find I'm quite the fox in my Jimmy Saville white knight hooded apparell, actually :P

And what are "proper" workout clothes? I already smell of perfume, so I'm not risking further benderness by wearing lycra :P

LolaLuv · 07-09-2008 4:34am

There's a very respectable chap in my gym who wears cut-off wife-beaters and shorts so short you can sometimes see his nutsack while he's on the treadmill. I'll ask him where he gets his gear.

tallaght01 · 07-09-2008 4:35am

Mahatma coat wrote: »

Whada ya expec from a tallaghafornian

dude ye've woke up beside a bloke, now yer wearin perfume, this thread needs to be moved to PI

I think you might be onto something there. Add to that the fact that right now I'm eating a fruit salad, and there's a lot of gaydars bleeping.

tallaght01 · 07-09-2008 4:36am

PillyPen wrote: »

There's a very respectable chap in my gym who wears cut-off wife-beaters and shorts so short you can sometimes see his nutsack while he's on the treadmill. I'll ask him where he gets his gear.

I think I met him in Sam's club when I was buying the rest of my wardrobe there last time I was in the states

LolaLuv · 07-09-2008 4:38am

tallaght01 wrote: »

I think I met him in Sam's club when I was buying the rest of my wardrobe there last time I was in the states

Well surely you noticed how admirably he was attired? You should have asked him then and none of this would have ever happened. You'll not be getting any sympathy out of me. Lazy.

tallaght01 · 07-09-2008 4:43am

PillyPen wrote: »

Well surely you noticed how admirably he was attired? You should have asked him then and none of this would have ever happened. You'll not be getting any sympathy out of me. Lazy.

Well, despite this not being a thread about my clothing, you need to find out where I can dress like this guy u mention.

I lost my last wifebeater to a covert strike. I'd left a load of clothes back at me folks place. Turns out while I was working overseas my old dear gave all my clothes away to charity.

Though, word is that there's a lot of sharp dressed homelessers roaming the street since then. It's even affecting their income, as people think they can't be that poor if they dress so well :P

MagicMarker · 07-09-2008 4:45am

Just tell them the perfume belongs to all the women you've killed, and that you wear it in memory of them.

While you tell them this be sure to scream out ''ANUS!!'' after every 4th word.

07-09-2008 4:47am

PillyPen wrote: »

shorts so short you can sometimes see his nutsack while he's on the treadmill. I'll ask him where he gets his gear.

We have one of those in Aerobics......I've seen things an innocent should never have to imagine, during the mat work.
She is in want of hedge strimmer down there too.

watna · 07-09-2008 4:48am

Sounds like the girl deliberately sprayed the top with loads of perfume so you'd smell it and think of her and think she's gorgeous and want to marry her and have babies.

bunny boiler alert!

LolaLuv · 07-09-2008 4:50am

tallaght01 wrote: »

Well, despite this not being a thread about my clothing, you need to find out where I can dress like this guy u mention.

I lost my last wifebeater to a covert strike. I'd left a load of clothes back at me folks place. Turns out while I was working overseas my old dear gave all my clothes away to charity.

Though, word is that there's a lot of sharp dressed homelessers roaming the street since then. It's even affecting their income, as people think they can't be that poor if they dress so well :P

You're right, it isn't about your clothing. It's about your ghey. I'll bring some nice Pennsylvania clothing to Ireland for you and it will solve both problems.

07-09-2008 4:54am

watna wrote: »

Sounds like the girl deliberately sprayed the top with loads of perfume so you'd smell it and think of her and think she's gorgeous and want to marry her and have babies.

bunny boiler alert!

Have you checked your personal hygiene supplies....Similarly I They tend to commander themselves a little bit of you, to flesh out these baby fantasies.

LolaLuv · 07-09-2008 4:56am

Moonbaby wrote: »

We have one of those in Aerobics......I've seen things an innocent should never have to imagine, during the mat work.
She is in want of hedge strimmer down there too.

Eeew!! Like aerobics class isn't bad enough without having to look at that!

MagicMarker · 07-09-2008 4:57am

PillyPen wrote: »

You're right, it isn't about your clothing. It's about your ghey. I'll bring some nice Pennsylvania clothing to Ireland for you and it will solve both problems.

You poor thing, looks like you need a real man.

Welcome to Ireland.

tallaght01 · 07-09-2008 4:58am

MagicMarker wrote: »

Just tell them the perfume belongs to all the women you've killed, and that you wear it in memory of them.

While you tell them this be sure to scream out ''ANUS!!'' after every 4th word.

Mate, that's a top idea. I'm going out tonight. If I still smell of bird, then that's exactly what's gonna happen.

watna wrote: »

Sounds like the girl deliberately sprayed the top with loads of perfume so you'd smell it and think of her and think she's gorgeous and want to marry her and have babies.

bunny boiler alert!

Sounds like you're quite familiar with that little trick, young lady

PillyPen wrote: »

You're right, it isn't about your clothing. It's about your ghey. I'll bring some nice Pennsylvania clothing to Ireland for you and it will solve both problems.

That is some quality clothing. Can you also bring me over a human beard? Like the one on the guy in the 2nd picture?

Moonbaby wrote: »

Have you checked your personal hygiene supplies....IThey tend to commander themselves a little bit of you, to flesh out these baby fantasies.

I don't even know what this mean :P Have you been at the gin?

tallaght01 · 07-09-2008 5:00am

MagicMarker wrote: »

You poor thing, looks like you need a real man.

Welcome to Ireland.

Hey!!!! that's where my tracksuit bottoms and socks went!!!!

He obviously didn't get his knacker hands on me hoody though, thank god

LolaLuv · 07-09-2008 5:02am

MagicMarker wrote: »

You poor thing, looks like you need a real man.

Welcome to Ireland.

:eek: At least he can tell time, I suppose.

tallaght01 wrote: »

That is some quality clothing. Can you also bring me over a human beard? Like the one on the guy in the 2nd picture?

You'll have to be man enough to grow your own. But don't worry, most Pennsylvania women have facial hair that would rival that gent's, shouldn't be an issue for you.

MagicMarker · 07-09-2008 5:07am

PillyPen wrote: »

:eek: At least he can tell time, I suppose.

The movement in that watch has probably been removed to facilitate the storage of drugs...and a rambo knife.

LolaLuv · 07-09-2008 5:09am

MagicMarker wrote: »

The movement in that watch has probably been removed to facilitate the storage of drugs...and a rambo knife.

Lol, that explains the meth bugs then.

Call Me Jimmy · 07-09-2008 5:32am

I think the knackerness of the tracksuit bottoms cancelled out the nanciness of the perfume which meant for that short time you were an average joe (soap).

ewj1978 · 07-09-2008 7:06am

1. buy a t-shirt saying "I F**K WHORES"
2. SLap every womens arse you pass.(even ol' grannies..they love it)
3. Stare at every girls boobs.
4. Talk to all women like they're your B*tches
5. When the guards come to arrest you tell them "the B*tches deserved it"

And that will then restore your manliness..... well as far as you had some in the first place...:P

sock.rocker* · 07-09-2008 8:18am

go bear hunting at the weekends and make sure ur neighbours know about it.. real men do it.

Toto Wolfcastle · 07-09-2008 8:21am

sock.rocker* wrote: »

go bear hunting at the weekends and make sure ur neighbours know about it.. real men do it.

That sounds dangerous. Maybe just try beer hunting first, see how you find it.

It sounds like tallaght01 is too far gone into the land of the girly girl to try anything too drastic.

ewj1978 · 07-09-2008 8:39am

was he already leaning that way?:P Mybe he meant to walk around smelling of perfume. Maybe some of our lady members would give him some fashion tips on whats "in" this autumn....:D

Odysseus · 07-09-2008 8:57am

Sorry mate but these posts are becoming more and more indicative of ghey, the only remedy I can see is you wear that sweater to your next KM class, it may not clear your name, but it should slap the ghey out of you.

tallaght01 · 07-09-2008 9:57am

janeybabe wrote: »

It sounds like tallaght01 is too far gone into the land of the girly girl to try anything too drastic.

Enough of your lip, kiddo :P

You wouldn't be able to handle my sheer manliness :P

Odysseus wrote: »

Sorry mate but these posts are becoming more and more indicative of ghey, the only remedy I can see is you wear that sweater to your next KM class, it may not clear your name, but it should slap the ghey out of you.

Jesus, I'd never thought of that scenario! I probably would have worn that sweater to KM tomorrow night actually. So mebbe this was a blessing in disguise!

Odysseus · 07-09-2008 10:03am

tallaght01 wrote: »

Jesus, I'd never thought of that scenario! I probably would have worn that sweater to KM tomorrow night actually. So mebbe this was a blessing in disguise!

I have only just thought of this, that is the first time I ever used the word sweater in my life, I think I'm catching something off you:eek: Fcuk this I'm off to do a 40k run. That should get rid of it.

tallaght01 · 07-09-2008 10:06am

Odysseus wrote: »

I have only just thought of this, that is the first time I ever used the word sweater in my life, I think I'm catching something off you:eek: Fcuk this I'm off to do a 40k run. That should get rid of it.

Dude, we're both catchin the ghey.

How YOU doin'? lol

Overheal · 07-09-2008 10:06am

eat lots and lots of cheese. jog back to the store, let off some farts after that cheese has been working on your system for the better half of a day and see which they preferred. I tell you even I get lightheaded of my own farts when i take a sh1t after mac and cheese dinner. Koohr.

Toto Wolfcastle · 07-09-2008 10:08am

tallaght01 wrote: »

Dude, we're both catchin the ghey.

How YOU doin'? lol

Did you ever found out whether you'd caught the gay when you slept with that guy?

ewj1978 · 07-09-2008 10:10am

janeybabe wrote: »

Did you ever found out whether you'd caught the gay when you slept with that guy?

:eek:LOL!:D

tallaght01 · 07-09-2008 10:11am

janeybabe wrote: »

Did you ever found out whether you'd caught the gay when you slept with that guy?

I'm pretty certain that I'm not a Harry Hoofter. But the difficult questions have to be asked. :P

How YOU doin'? :pac:

Odysseus · 07-09-2008 10:15am

tallaght01 wrote: »

Dude, we're both catchin the ghey.

How YOU doin'? lol

I shall purge myself of it, my running pack is down in Dublin but I can tell you there are a few extra bags of sugar going in to it tomorrow, as well as extra bag-work sessions. I'm off now to run any of those thought out from my psyche. Repression is there for a reason you know.

tallaght01 · 07-09-2008 10:18am

Odysseus wrote: »

I shall purge myself of it, my running pack is down in Dublin but I can tell you there are a few extra bags of sugar going in to it tomorrow, as well as extra bag-work sessions. I'm off now to run any of those thought out from my psyche. Repression is there for a reason you know.

I bought a new groin guard today. Do you reckon that was some kind of subconscious statement? :pac:

Similar to the way ur "running away" from your new gheyness :P

ewj1978 · 07-09-2008 10:28am

Odysseus wrote: »

I shall purge myself of it, my running pack is down in Dublin but I can tell you there are a few extra bags of sugar going in to it tomorrow, as well as extra bag-work sessions. I'm off now to run any of those thought out from my psyche. Repression is there for a reason you know.

seems to me like your just buffing up your body to impress your new "friends".... like this guy? hm?

hmmmm big boy

:P

Odysseus · 07-09-2008 10:49am

tallaght01 wrote: »

I bought a new groin guard today. Do you reckon that was some kind of subconscious statement? :pac:

Similar to the way ur "running away" from your new gheyness :P

Well if you know your Freud he reckoned we are all unconsciously bisexual, the aim is the same, sometime its merely the object that changes. So maybe its time to welcome new ghey overlords:pac:

However, with the groin guard are you trying to hide some thing:p I have to get running now.

Overheal · 07-09-2008 11:00am

you might need to get that ghey guard more than you need that groin guard: some form of protection for your hole lest some ghey stalker suprise buttsecks you. The ghey guard. Its like a buttplug, but its not designed for you to enjoy it.

AckwelFoley · 07-09-2008 11:44am

after you go for a jog again, take off the sweater and rub it in your sweaty under carriage.

Your jacket will smell like man, but your balls will smell nice.

tallaght01 · 09-09-2008 1:42pm

snyper wrote: »

after you go for a jog again, take off the sweater and rub it in your sweaty under carriage.

Your jacket will smell like man, but your balls will smell nice.

Good suggestion, Snyper. My sweater now smells of eau de ballsack

LouOB · 09-09-2008 3:09pm

So only the marraige materials will smell of the ghey??!!

why dont you do the raping rounds with synper?
with pics

tribulus · 09-09-2008 3:20pm

Tallaght01 tales ftw.

Fratton Fred · 09-09-2008 3:30pm

tallaght01 wrote: »

I used to get called "The white knight" in my last job for sometimes turning up in an adidas finest bright white hooded tracksuit

and you're worried about smelling of perfume

Zzippy · 09-09-2008 3:33pm

Overheal wrote: »

eat lots and lots of cheese. jog back to the store, let off some farts after that cheese has been working on your system for the better half of a day and see which they preferred. I tell you even I get lightheaded of my own farts when i take a sh1t after mac and cheese dinner. Koohr.

Did flutterinbantam hack your account?

Clearing my name....

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