Found Love

oulu

thanks Ricky I just wrote and did not come up for breath,
I married young just one of those things,I have not had sex in a long time with my wife her decision not mine when there was on else involved.I plan to tell her next Saturday when she is back in the Country.Just needed advice that's all.I know people will think it is selfish but I have found someone I really love and want to spend my whole wife with and I can't wait for our baby.

I started to work in a new company 2 years ago,and on the first day I was shown around the office and everybody was nice,but one lady I met just took my breath away.I have always been lucky with the ladies and to my surprised they seem to find me attractive,don't know why but they did.In all that time I had only ever met one that was special the other where great fun to be with nothing more.

But even she did not have the effect of this girl from my new job who I had only seen for less than 10 seconds,but it was the most special 10 seconds of my life.I am no idiot so thought it just might be one of those type crush things people get all the time.For the next 2 weeks I did not see that girl due to her been on holidays with her boyfriend and I already missed her,if I told my mates they would not believe me of all people they would say.

When she came back to work I just felt better I began to hate the weekends and lived for going to work.We ended up working on a project together with 5 others,This went on for 3 months right up to xmas 2007,we seemed to really hit it off and I thought she liked me but I thought better as she had BF,so I never let her know how I felt but others had begun to notice,smart harmless comments,last day before xmas break up all girls handed out usual xmas cards she handed all hers to the guys in the office about 10 in total.

I read mine which said have a great xmas and I will really miss you over the holidays,I of course thought this was same for every card she gave, but I felt a funny feeling come over me and I just started to see what the other cards she had handed the guys had say,they just read happy xmas see you next year.I did not know what to do but when I went to look for her she had gone home already. I was on cloud 9 but also mixed thinking about her BF etc maybe it meant nothing etc negative thoughts.

I went to do my xmas shop and who of all the people should I bump into in town with just tracksuit and trainers on and no makeup only my work mate.I can honestly say I never seen a woman look better and she must have guess by the look on my face,I just could not believe that I would have such luck to see her before the new year, I knew she had BF so I just said have you much plans over the xmas ,she said no as she had split up 2 months ago with BF,sorry I said and she said are you really and I said no,her mate in work had told her I was mad about her and apparently she mad about me.

I had never felt this way about anyone ever,she is now pregnant with our child sept08 4 months gone. We don't live together yet as I am married,but I have no kids.I still have not told my wife I am leaving her,I feel bad for what I have done but I have never felt this way about anyone,wife is big friend with my family, I just can't seem to tell her, need help

x in the city

wellifyoubreakyoursentencedownabitwemightbeabletohelpyouabitmore.sodifficulttounderstandallthat

suckslikeafox

The longer you leave it, the harder its going to be you just have to bite the bullet and do it. Be honest with her and apologize, don't expect her to give you her blessing either.

dudara

oulu Inserting some structure into your post might help other posters to understand it better.

dudara

challengemaster

suckslikeafox wrote: »

The longer you leave it, the harder its going to be you just have to bite the bullet and do it. Be honest with her and apologize, don't expect her to give you her blessing either.

+1

Also, now you've found love, can you please find the return key. That was a nightmare to read.

Miss Fluff

oulu wrote: »

We don't live together yet as I am married,but I have no kids.I still have not told my wife I am leaving her,I feel bad for what I have done but I have never felt this way about anyone,wife is big friend with my family, I just can't seem to tell her, need help

You HAVE TO tell your wife. Leave the poor woman with some self respect, what if she were to hear about this from someone else? Seriously, grow some balls and do the decent thing.

Ricky91t

oulu wrote: »

I started to work in a new company 2 years ago,and on the first day I was shown around the office and everybody was nice,but one lady I met just took my breath away.I have always been lucky with the ladies and to my surprised they seem to find me attractive,don't know why but they did.In all that time I had only ever met one that was special the other where great fun to be with nothing more.

But even she did not have the effect of this girl from my new job who I had only seen for less than 10 seconds,but it was the most special 10 seconds of my life.I am no idiot so thought it just might be one of those type crush things people get all the time.For the next 2 weeks I did not see that girl due to her been on holidays with her boyfriend and I already missed her,if I told my mates they would not believe me of all people they would say.

When she came back to work I just felt better I began to hate the weekends and lived for going to work.We ended up working on a project together with 5 others,This went on for 3 months right up to xmas 2007,we seemed to really hit it off and I thought she liked me but I thought better as she had BF,so I never let her know how I felt but others had begun to notice,smart harmless comments,last day before xmas break up all girls handed out usual xmas cards she handed all hers to the guys in the office about 10 in total.

I read mine which said have a great xmas and I will really miss you over the holidays,I of course thought this was same for every card she gave, but I felt a funny feeling come over me and I just started to see what the other cards she had handed the guys had say,they just read happy xmas see you next year.I did not know what to do but when I went to look for her she had gone home already. I was on cloud 9 but also mixed thinking about her BF etc maybe it meant nothing etc negative thoughts.

I went to do my xmas shop and who of all the people should I bump into in town with just tracksuit and trainers on and no makeup only my work mate.I can honestly say I never seen a woman look better and she must have guess by the look on my face,I just could not believe that I would have such luck to see her before the new year, I knew she had BF so I just said have you much plans over the xmas ,she said no as she had split up 2 months ago with BF,sorry I said and she said are you really and I said no,her mate in work had told her I was mad about her and apparently she mad about me.

I had never felt this way about anyone ever,she is now pregnant with our child sept08 4 months gone. We don't live together yet as I am married,but I have no kids.I still have not told my wife I am leaving her,I feel bad for what I have done but I have never felt this way about anyone,wife is big friend with my family, I just can't seem to tell her, need help

.

MagicMarker

So you're married and your mistress is pregnant.

You don't deserve either of them.

Do your wife a favour and leave NOW. Don't be such a coward.

Madame Razz

Wow, OP, You're smooth; and incredibly selfish.

Bad enough you go and have an affair; but to get your mistress pregnant???

Could you not at least have been careful to avoid a situation like this BEFORE you left your wife.

Your wife is oblivious, and your mistress is probably as insecure as hell. You haven't left your wife, shes carrying your child and probably feeling quite uncertain of the future... IE will you ever leave your wife.

Even to give you the benefit of the doubt, to assume that maybe your marriage wasn't right for you, you are still being incredibly cowardly.

You need to tell both women ASAP. your wife will no doubt be devastated. And don't mind saying, oh, shes a great friend of my family....maybe its time your family saw what you're really like.

Stop hiding behind your sham of a marriage. Grow a pair and face the music. You made your bed(literally), now go lie on it. I think your wife is well rid of somebody who thinks so little of her to go and do what you did.

You've been an asshole; now go be a man and face the inconvenient truth; for the sake of all involved.

Wibbs

Colour me harsh, but if you have balls sufficient to get your mistress pregnant then you should have sufficient balls to tell your wife.

brianthebard

Ffs you got a woman pregnant and still didn't have the balls to leave your wife?I feel sorry for the child that has you as a role model.You should tell your wife you're leaving,and perhaps make clear that its all your fault so that she might not lose all confidence.

MagicMarker

I really feel for your wife, when she hears you're going to father a child with another woman she will be absolutely destroyed.

I hope you can live with yourself OP.

SnowMonkey

hey go easy on the guy he's venting........ It's cleerly obvous that he's just letting it out...

The problem Op you've chosen to medate your problem's with people, who see it for what it is.....

Your a cheating ........ what ever they wanna call it.

I know, You Know, and they know, What you must do.
Your leaving your wife for another woman, what kind of message is that?

Your going to have to man up to your responcabilitys and say what you must.

remeber 2 things you can move in with your new found love will it last? i suggest you booth get your own place's, and take it very slowly...

Regardless of what I think, i think its only fare you tell your wife, pack your stuff that night sighn your self into a b&b, Op you have a stressfull time ahead of you.

Your going to have to juggle your divorce/seperasion/work/New lady's pregancey... Good luck to you because your going ot have a tough time.... a nd please dont be a pussy and start drinking ot forget about it or smoking crack or somthing man up to your responcabilitys...

and remeber the pocibility is your wife is intitled to half of everything!!! Probablity is shel take you for everything you have.

aidan24326

oulu wrote: »

We don't live together yet as I am married

Took you an awful long time to mention that bit. Your wife only gets a quick mention at the end of your me me me post so I guess that says it all about what you really think of her. Now maybe that's fair enough, you don't love your wife any more and that happens, but what about her feelings all the same? Is she still under the illusion that your marriage is going ok? If so you are taking the mick out of her and she is going to be one very pissed off woman when she finds out what you've been up to. And you know what they say about a woman scorned, so prepare for this to be messy.

Captain Ginger

I think everyone should stop being such an ass. We post in PI to give advice, not to judge people.

Anyway as everyone else has told you OP you need to tell your wife A.S.A.P, choose your words carefully.

Best of luck with your situation.

judas101

dont see why everyone is being so negative.

good for you i say.

congrats on the baby!

Michellenman

Op? You say you are married but with no children..

In post number 48 here you say you and your wife have children.. all girls..

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=52254527#post52254527

Wibbs

Valid point there Michellenman. Care to elaborate oulu?

oulu

Wibbs wrote: »

Valid point there Michellenman. Care to elaborate oulu?

That was just something I said which was appropriate to that thread,Not every post one rights actually means it happened to them ,
I have posted here many times before so believe when I say I have no kids but soon I will.But I do except you your concern.

Sephiroth_dude

im confused,why did you say you had kids ?"all girls"and now your saying you dont

Insect Overlord

Sephiroth_dude wrote: »

im confused,why did you had kids "all girls"and now your saying you dont

+1

Also, this has to be one of the most ironic quotes I've seen on Boards:

oulu wrote: »

I was once voted my marriable man in my old job over 100 women voted on this, I always remind my mrs this when she forgets how lucky she is.

Anyway, the longer you let this go without telling your wife the truth, the worse it'll be for all parties involved.

Sephiroth_dude

oulu wrote: »

That was just something I said which was appropriate to that thread,Not every post one rights actually means it happened to them ,

how was it appropriate?why would you had girls when you dont apparently?

I have posted here many times before so believe when I say I have no kids but soon I will.

What has that got to do with anything?

But I do except you your concern.

and the above makes no sense........to me at least.

carolmon

was intrigued by the turn this thread had taken so had a look at posters previous posts.


The one below is from the parenting forum.


Quote:
Originally Posted by oulu View Post
I have 3 kids 2 in big school one in pre school, rules are simple and they understand, if they want to watch a little TV before school they must eat breakfast ,clothes all on and brush teeth, then when all is done they are allowed watch some tv before we are out the door in 25 min , works a treat some morning they might want no TV just to play with their toys same rules apply

OP about time to cut the crap and start being honest, most of all with yourself..............

Karen_*

back wetting the bed
Our little 3 1/2 girl yr old last 2 mths no nappy for bed but last 3 nights wet the bed , we have done nothing different to bed rountine ie drinks,excitment, so now again she is a sleep with no nappy if it continues should I wake her up to pee before we go asleep as she is always dry at this time as I check just in case, is it a big no to puy pull up back on for bed

Does the above little girl exist or not Oulu?

Marksie

carolmon wrote: »

OP about time to cut the crap and start being honest, most of all with yourself..............

With us would be a good idea.

If you don't have kids, then you should tell your wife. It is no longer a case of having your cake and eating it.

If you do, then that is an entirely different situation and a much more complex one.
It strikes me that there is an ego* here and now its come unstuck... you are going to have to ante up. You are now potentially a father to two lots of children, going to go through a divorce, pay two sets of maintainence and also potentially be single as when the crunch comes your not going to be able to handle it..

In the end you have Fcuked up all around......

for once it is best to tell us if you are trolling



* I will refrain from speculating whether you will remain the most marriable man.

Silverfish

Thread closed until OP can provide an explanation and/or reason for re-opening.