What makes a Big Brother Winner?

leggo

Here's a piece that I wrote up out of boredom for my Bebo. Some people on here may enjoy it too. All feedback welcome!

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Craig, Brian Dowling, Kate, Cameron, Nadia, Anthony, Pete, Bryan Belo, and now Rachel. What on earth do a scouse builder, a flamboyant, Irish gay, a fit, blonde tomboy, a dull virgin, a transsexual, an arsehole, a Tourettes-syndrome suffer, a simple, black, Essex kid and a nice, Welsh fence-sitter have in common that the British public deem them worthy of the large cash prize?

As an avid Big Brother fan (I’ve watched the show, aside from BB4, almost religiously since the Nasty Nick debacle first caught my attention), it’s a question I’ve been attempting to figure out for years now.

Well isn’t now the perfect time to do so, since its ninth-incarnation has just wrapped up and with it comes the void of having nothing to satiate my addiction except my own idle speculation?

It was a good series. For me, you’ll never top the sixth series with the sheer level of OTT characters (Derek, Science, Makosi), multiple running themes (Craig/Makosi/Anthony, Saskia/Maxwell) and hilarious, cringeworthy situations (that fat bird bottling herself) as well as those of a more serious nature (Craig’s blatant homosexuality and his unwillingness to confront it). It had everything.

But no, whether it topped any series or not is irrelevant, BB9 kept me entertained for the summer from start to finish. You had the fake wedding, Alexandra’s bullying, Spit-gate, Luke & Bex, Rex – before, during and after Nicole, Greedy Mo, Sara leading Darnell on (to ridiculous levels) and an unpredictable finale. Then countless mini-highlights from episode to episode. What more could you want?

I’d hate to see them get rid of Big Brother. It may never reach the entertainment of the 5th or 6th season again, the novelty factor wore off midway through the 2nd season and the tediousness of the fame-hungry housemates is always grating, but regardless it makes for good television once the football season ends in summer. The past three series have been solid, if not spectacular. Big Brother ensures that, from late May to early September, there’s always something to watch at 9 or 10pm if all else fails.

I’ve only ever jumped for joy when two people have won it, and they were both named Brian. The rest were either predictable or just complete and utter farces (even if you voted for Anthony, were you not immediately regretting it once he started doing that ridiculous 70’s dance upon leaving the house? Was the first thought in your mind not, “Oh ****...I forgot this guy was a complete cock!”?).

But even in my joy at the winner, last year for example, I couldn’t help but wonder why? Why was I happy? Why did I celebrate the fact that some talentless, dim-witted, but likeable kid was now £100k richer while I still slaved away at jobs and hobbies that required a brain cell or two for a fraction of that cash? It made me evaluate just why I watched Big Brother to begin with.

See, devoting an hour of my life every night to watching a bunch of oft-freaks, hand-picked off the street and given a dream amount of TV and magazine exposure...well, before I got hooked it wouldn’t look like an appealing option to me. But yet here I am. Every year insisting that I’ll put my fingers in my ear and ignore it, and every year getting sucked in after saying, “Well I’ll just give it a look on the first night because there’s nowt else on...”

It’s not even the characters that attract me. I groan once I see their made-up little faces and fancy hair-do’s on the cover of OK magazine. Once they leave the house, I couldn’t give a **** about them. Granted, whenever I see them make an appearance on a spot show (the 8 out of 10 Cats BB special being a prime example), it’s great to see that Bryan’s still retained his simplicity and humanity, it’s reassuring to know that Glyn hasn’t let fame and female-attention consume him, and it’s always funny to see that Nikki is still an idiot. (Although it’s heartbreaking to see that Chanelle milked a year of fame from a show that she walked out on to begin with)

Still, though, I’m not wondering about any of them. Never does it cross my mind, unless they’re staring me in the face through the TV, what ‘Samanda’ are doing with themselves these days. Or if Craig has packed in the building yet. Or if Nick is still Nasty. The only time they are of any interest to me is when they are imprisoned within the Big Brother house for my viewing pleasure. I don’t even have much time for post-eviction interviews once the ‘Will they get booed or not?’ question is answered. They may as well be dead to me.

I’m a firm believer in the strength of reality TV. Something that generates that amount of cash cannot be worthless.

Big Brother may have been the catalyst of this reality TV explosion, but then when you compare it to the likes of X Factor and Dragon’s Gate (two shows that require raw talent and brains to succeed in and have a clear formula for winning), you do wonder where its place is nowadays? What purpose does it actually serve beyond giving us something to watch every night?

I’ve certainly no interest in seeing a bunch of talentless freaks accrue fame (and sometimes fortune) with minimum effort. They get a 12-week holiday, then become overnight millionaires because they’re ‘nice people’? **** off! X Factor may similarly fast-track ‘regular people’ to stardom, but at least it requires you to actually have some skills and talents in doing so.

Ask a Big Brother winner what it takes to win the show, and I think every one of them will say, “Just be yourself”. Excuse me, you arrogant twat, I AM myself every day from morning until night, and nobody hands me a hundred grand after three months of doing so!

These are my honest opinions, or at least they were until I re-evaluated them this summer in the middle of thinking, “WHY am I hooked on watching this yet AGAIN?!”

I remember chatting about Big Brother to an ex last year. It was during the Ziggy/Chanelle relationship when they were having problems, rowing on a daily basis. I said to her, “Remind you of anyone?” and she said “OHHH YEAH! Jesus...” While watching it, it was actually scary to think that they were living the exact same relationship that I had done previously. The arguments were almost identical, and even in analysing them with the ex, sure enough I took his side and she took hers.

Even this year, **** I’ve been through my Darnell times. Times when you’re told by a girl you’re mad about that they want to be ‘just friends’. Any guy who’s not a ten probably has been (though few will admit it). And I’ve even been in the situation where you can’t avoid them, so you’re a prick to them just to make them feel as bad about themselves as their rejection made you feel about yourself.

I’m pretty sure every Big Brother fan could pick out several scenarios from each series that they’ve felt an EXACT relation to at some point in their lives. For better or worse.

We don’t watch these guys on a nightly basis because we find them fascinating. No matter how freak-ish they may appear on their entrance videos, that’s not what we want to see. We want to see their over-exaggerated personalities taken down a peg or two. We want to see them confronted with real issues and deal with them. We want these freaks to show some humanity, and in doing so relate to their struggles.

As cringeworthy as it may have been at the time, the end of BB9 would’ve been nothing without Darnell’s strops at being rejected. What fun would a fairytale relationship with Sara have been anyway? It was much better seeing his love unrequited and his struggles through it. It was something that we all could either relate to or sympathise with.

These people may be on TV, but by watching their day-to-day struggles through everyday emotions, it reminds us that TV or not, they go through exactly the same **** that we do. It causes us to evaluate our own behaviour as well as letting us watch these people grow and develop by doing so. If they fail to do so, then they’ve a rabid crowd waiting to yell “Get Charley out!” to them or a bloodthirsty media who’ll tear the likes of Alexandra apart for being the bullying scum that she is.

And as for the winners? Perhaps they’re the people that we’d most like to be, displaying the virtues we wish we had and strive to gain.

Who couldn’t admire Craig’s clear, rational head through troubled times? How could even the staunchest of homophobes not think Brian Dowling was a sound, likeable bloke? Wasn’t Kate just so refreshing? A fit, blonde bird who also had brains, wit and wasn’t up her own hole either. I’ve honestly no excuse for why Cameron won...but Nadia MORE than made up for it by having the (pun not intended) balls to go in there with the entire nation knowing about her transsexual past. Anthony...well, I’m sure enough people saw something in him. Pete didn’t let his Tourettes get him down one bit and Bryan proved that in a cold, harsh, 21st century world, there were just nice, kind-hearted, innocent people out there.

As for Rachel? Well in the Big Mouth following the final, Davina summed it up perfectly when citing the example of Rachel’s bringing Mikey’s special cup out with her upon her departure. Here was the winner of the series, who just a half an hour previously had been told (to her utter shock) that she’d be E100k richer, and she still had the time to remember that upon HER celebration she had to bring a cup...a ****ing CUP...that had sentimental value to another housemate. And even then it mustn’t have been THAT important if said housemate had forgotten it. But nope, even in probably the greatest moment of her life, a moment that saw an entire summer of national television culminate in her being crowned winner, Rachel thought enough of another person and their affection for this cup to remember it.

That was just typical Rachel, and in moments like this, is it not deserving and nice that (when scum like those Limerick Euromillions winners can bag millions by luck), to award someone E100k just for being truly decent and setting an example that we’d also love to follow?

That, folks, is a winner right there. And if somebody can make an entire nation evaluate themselves so much that the nation thinks them deserved of such riches, then who’s to say that Big Brother is worthless after all?

Sharpshooter

Again , l am all out of reply's .:(

ArmaniJeanss

Very good post. You really should have posted more during the series !

ArmaniJeanss

Theres also a luck issue in the whole thing.

If for example BB had chose Rachel to be Marios f-wife in week one, then theres a strong possibility that she could have been the first out. Conversely was Stephanie given a fair chance?

JohnTickle got screwed over by the double eviction and could have gone on to win otherwise?

etc etc.

Sharpshooter

ArmaniJeanss wrote: »

Theres also a luck issue in the whole thing.

If for example BB had chose Rachel to be Marios f-wife in week one, then theres a strong possibility that she could have been the first out. Conversely was Stephanie given a fair chance?

JohnTickle got screwed over by the double eviction and could have gone on to win otherwise?

etc etc.

They choose Steph , because they knew she wouldn't
cope.
lt really is all about personalities.
When will we learn.
When BB let's us decide who GOES IN , and not WHO WINS.
Thats what l would vote for , and take it out of BBs hands.

jobucks

great post leggo:)