Break up before holidays?

LegacyUser

Ok long time boardie here

I have been seeing a girl for 2 months now, and it hasn't progressed at all, we seem to be a world apart, she is always serious always working and I am rarely serious, and always joking, sometimes the jokes can get me into trouble.
After 2 months I am only seeing her twice a week, even though she lives 15min away from me.
and she said when she starts to study I will only see her once a week if even that.
She doesn't seem to like anything I do.
So the relationship has run its course, but she is going away for 6 weeks at the end of the week.

Now this girl is so sweet & kind, and is a great catch, but just not for me. So do I
a) Break up before her holiday and be a b*stard, and hoping she can become more relaxed for her holidays life
or
b) Break up when she gets back?

I am looking at a) I know it is terrible, but I just think messing her around is bad, but the last thing I want to do is ruin a holiday. I honestly don't mind me suffering, but I just want not to hurt her.

any advice ?

biko

Who is she going on hols with? If a group of girlfriends then before, they can console her. It's only 2 months so shouldn't be too bad. Maybe she is even seeing it coming.

Karen_*

Well she doesn't seem that bothered so just look after yourself and break up with her. Which is what she's angling at anyway.

Beetlebum

It doesn't really sound like she's that interested in you. Maybe I'm wrong but it seems like she's not really into you and may even be relieved.

Just do it, 2 months is nothing, I'm sure you'll both be fine within a matter of days if not sooner!!

meditraitor

Get it over with quickly. then away out and find yourself another.

uberpixie

preholiday wrote: »

Ok long time boardie here

I have been seeing a girl for 2 months now, and it hasn't progressed at all, we seem to be a world apart, she is always serious always working and I am rarely serious, and always joking, sometimes the jokes can get me into trouble.
After 2 months I am only seeing her twice a week, even though she lives 15min away from me.
and she said when she starts to study I will only see her once a week if even that.
She doesn't seem to like anything I do.
So the relationship has run its course, but she is going away for 6 weeks at the end of the week.

Now this girl is so sweet & kind, and is a great catch, but just not for me. So do I
a) Break up before her holiday and be a b*stard, and hoping she can become more relaxed for her holidays life
or
b) Break up when she gets back?

I am looking at a) I know it is terrible, but I just think messing her around is bad, but the last thing I want to do is ruin a holiday. I honestly don't mind me suffering, but I just want not to hurt her.

any advice ?

If you are going to feel really guilty: leave till after the holidays.

You are right to say that its weird you have seen her so little when she lives so close by.
(Karen + Bettlebum I think pretty much hit the nail on the head.......)

Personally I would wait the 6 weeks and dump her then, but I am petty and like to keep the moral high ground :-)

Miss Fluff

Why prolong the agony? Doesn't sound like it's going anywhere so might as well get it out of the way before the hols tbh.

Aodan83

think of it this way, if you do it before the hols, she has 6 (possibly kick ass) weeks to help get over it anyway. plus the possibility of meeting someone on hols. plus you wont spend 6 weeks worrying about how shes gonna react.

EM2008

definitely do it before she goes... at least then she can get on with her hol and enjoy it to the max... she can drink herself silly and be with whoever she wants.. personally i'd prefer it done before my hols, i went out with a guy who did it after i got back and i hated him for it i thought it was very selfish of him

Burial

preholiday wrote: »

Ok long time boardie here

I have been seeing a girl for 2 months now, and it hasn't progressed at all, we seem to be a world apart, she is always serious always working and I am rarely serious, and always joking, sometimes the jokes can get me into trouble.
After 2 months I am only seeing her twice a week, even though she lives 15min away from me.
and she said when she starts to study I will only see her once a week if even that.
She doesn't seem to like anything I do.
So the relationship has run its course, but she is going away for 6 weeks at the end of the week.

Now this girl is so sweet & kind, and is a great catch, but just not for me. So do I
a) Break up before her holiday and be a b*stard, and hoping she can become more relaxed for her holidays life
or
b) Break up when she gets back?

I am looking at a) I know it is terrible, but I just think messing her around is bad, but the last thing I want to do is ruin a holiday. I honestly don't mind me suffering, but I just want not to hurt her.

any advice ?

Break up before the holidays.

1.) She can take the time to recover from you and look at other men

2.) Knows she won't see you at all during the 6 weeks

3.) Can be as singly (Flirty and the like) as she likes on the holiday

4.) Her friends will make her feel better

5.) A holiday is to forget the problems back home and have a laugh

6.) You've been going out for 2 months. Breaking up now means she can see other men in the holiday and not "tie" herself down with you by not being all single on the holiday.

7.) Your wasting her and your own time. She'd hate you, if you broke up after the holiday, but appreciate that you did it before the holiday. (She still won't like that you did it anyway)

8.) She won't see you for 6 weeks and she won't contact you and you won't contact her. Therefore it's a clean break-up where neither gets that urge to ring/text the other person.

I'd be raging to be dumped if I missed out on the opportunity to be single on holiday.

Ri na hEireann

Yea what Burial said!

smileysurfer

Deflinitely break up before the holiday, she doesnt seem to have much time for you and you sound miserable. Get out while you can

AngryBadger

Agree with everyone else, she's doesn't seem into this that much, or at all to be blunt, so why torment yourself, I'd tell her like you've told us;

She's a lovely girl, but ye don't seem to gel as a couple, inf act are polar opposites, and you don't get to see her half as much as you want to, certainly not enough that you're happy to cut that in half once she starts studying again.

beth-lou

Definitely do it before. Let her head off a singledon with no cares or commitments. That's what i'd prefer if I were her.

valleyoftheunos

OP for goodness sake break up with her before the holiday. its only two months and you hardly see her anyway. No offence but I dont think she will spend her entire holiday crying over you and your reason for waiting for her to get back is that you dont want to feel bad, thats an entirely selfish motivation.

I'll wager that the break up conversation the two of you have is swift and painless and that you'll both feel better afterwards.

MIN2511

Tell her now, at least she would get over the "relationship" by the time she's back

LegacyUser

OP here, I finished up before the holiday.
She was extremely upset, but understands, and blames herself.

Some people suggested that she didn't seem into it, that is way off the mark, she just always worked, rarely drank etc, she doesn't have any family so her job is pretty much all she has.

Hopefully it will work out for the best.

thanks to Burial for some good advice

tinkletoes

Before holidays so she can go out and enjoy herself on her hols

valleyoftheunos

Fair play OP.

Its a shame that she was so upset but iif you knew it wasn't going to go anywhere you made the right move ending it sooner.

GrumPy

perholiday wrote: »

OP here, I finished up before the holiday.
She was extremely upset, but understands, and blames herself.

Some people suggested that she didn't seem into it, that is way off the mark, she just always worked, rarely drank etc, she doesn't have any family so her job is pretty much all she has.

Hopefully it will work out for the best.


thanks to Burial for some good advice

Happy it sorted itself out for you OP.
Was in a similar situation myself recently, although what happened sucked at the time, it was prolly for the best.


Plenty more beavers in the river!!!