Wearing White to a wedding?

rubyrua

Hi Girls!
Just seen from the previous post that wearing black and green to a wedding is seen as bad luck? never heard this before! I had previously heard that wearin white to a wedding was frowned upon but to be honest I thought that them kinda views were a thing of the past?
I'm now freaking! I am due to go to a wedding at the weekend - My dress is white!!:o Granted it has a very large black sash around the middle (about 10 inchs in length) and I am wearing all black accessories (shoes, shawl, jewellery).
just looking to see if the general view of the boardsies is that it would be bad taste to wear this colour??? The wedding is a friend of mine that I havent seen in a couple of yrs...

MagicMarker

You know that seen from father ted where dougal is doing a funeral and there's a hurst on fire and people screaming? That's what will happen if you wear that dress... FACT!

Posy

You will be known as the One Who Wore White and forever more banished from that particular social circle. Only wear white if you want to p*ss off the bride.

LolaLuv

I'd say it's rather bad taste but it depends on the bride really. Can you check it with your friend first?

Pigletlover

I think it depends on the bride really, but I wouldn't tbh. There's a lot of etiquette associated with what's acceptable to wear to a wedding, most of it is disregarded, but I think wearing white is still a big no-no.

Piste

Why? Unless your dress looks blatantly like a wedding dress you should be fine, especaiily if it's teamed with black accessories.

Any friend who spazzed out at me for for wearing the correct colour of dress at what's supposed to be a celebration would be no friend of mine.

ncmc

Piste wrote: »

Why? Unless your dress looks blatantly like a wedding dress you should be fine, especaiily if it's teamed with black accessories.

Any friend who spazzed out at me for for wearing the correct colour of dress at what's supposed to be a celebration would be no friend of mine.

There's only supposed to be one person wearing a white dress at a wedding and that's the bride. It's just one of those 'unwritten rules' of going to weddings. I think it would be reallt tactless of the OP to wear a white dress, sash or no sash. I'm sure the bride wouldn't 'spazz out' but there's a good chance she'll be hurt and the OP will get a hell of a lot of dirty looks.

Redpunto

Would have to agree with most people here,,,do not wear the white dress or a bolt of lightening from the wrath of god will come down upon you as soon as you enter the church, either that or the bride's death laser stare!!! Go out and treat yourself to a new dress with all new acessories and you wont be worrying bout it.

Dudess

I wasn't aware of this and bought a cream lace dress for the wedding of one of my best friends earlier this year. I became aware of the "rule" the night before the wedding. Her dress was also cream. She didn't give a hoot though because she had bigger things to be concerned about and, being the bride, she was gonna get all the attention, not me - one guest out of 200. And the bridesmaids are next in the hierarchy when it comes to attention

So don't worry OP. A dress that's the same colour as that of the bride's will hardly take the spotlight off her. Plus, like you, I teamed my dress up with dark-coloured accessories.

fiona-f

Even if the bride doesn't mind, there will be plenty of other people in the room who will notice and who will wonder what sort of almighty revenge you are trying to get on the bride and/or groom by wearing white. Also, LOTS of wedding dresses these days have sashes in all different colours, including black, so your dress could end up being a lot more bridal than you think. If you have anything else at all to wear, I would advise choosing it instead; you don't want to hear other people whispering about you.

stovelid

Plenty of accessories and you'll be fine. The older guests might tut-tut a bit, but what of it? Don''t have a veil or a train on it though.

pseudonym1

G - Maybe go to hickeys they have some lovely beautiful lace at moment and cover it in that get a seamstress to fix it up so its easily detachabale in future - ah just thought though you ll have to change all accessories or will look like in mourning!!

I say max d credit card or borrow another dress!

Stheno

Is the bride definitely wearing white?

If she's not I don't see a problem with it at all.

If she is, and you know her well enough maybe ask her?

Best of luck

Dudess

fiona-f wrote: »

Even if the bride doesn't mind, there will be plenty of other people in the room who will notice and who will wonder what sort of almighty revenge you are trying to get on the bride and/or groom by wearing white. Also, LOTS of wedding dresses these days have sashes in all different colours, including black, so your dress could end up being a lot more bridal than you think. If you have anything else at all to wear, I would advise choosing it instead; you don't want to hear other people whispering about you.

Wow, not being smart, but would people really be that petty?

LolaLuv

Dudess wrote: »

Wow, not being smart, but would people really be that petty?

I probably would. I don't think I'd have as strong of a reaction as described, but I'd definitely think about it for a minute.

pseudonym1

Its just one of those things thats considered rude and it should be all about d bride - oh ya and d groom- but if its a big wedding with people you dont know - personally wouldnt submit myself to d paranoia of strangers glances- if you havent worn it might be able to exchange for another colour!?

Stheno

PillyPen wrote: »

I probably would. I don't think I'd have as strong of a reaction as described, but I'd definitely think about it for a minute.

Jeez I had a gold silk and wine velvet three piece outfit for my wedding, couldn't say for a minute I noticed what any guest was wearing (now my mother did wear green lol) but twas no bother to me what people wore

Fajitas!

Tbh, I've seen white, cream, green and black dresses at weddings, and everything from distant cousins to the mother of the brides wearing them. Go for it - If you really think there'll be a problem, ask the bride.

Dudess

It's just... I don't think a white dress would be noticed unless it was deliberately worn in such a way as to make the wearer look like a bride.

pseudonym1

nouggatti wrote: »

Jeez I had a gold silk and wine velvet three piece outfit for my wedding, couldn't say for a minute I noticed what any guest was wearing (now my mother did wear green lol) but twas no bother to me what people wore

U r obviously chilled out and secure. Brides however and often their mothers and relations can tend to be a tad on d irrational side!
Guess it depends never heard of d green thing before! Wonder where that one came from!

stovelid

My wife wore cream - admittedly a trouser suit - to her best mate's wedding and her wedding dress was a very similar shade of cream too.

Seriously, it's not the 50s. Some of the older guests might tut-tut, but so what?

Dudess

nouggatti wrote: »

Jeez I had a gold silk and wine velvet three piece outfit for my wedding, couldn't say for a minute I noticed what any guest was wearing (now my mother did wear green lol) but twas no bother to me what people wore

I don't know whether the "rule" is "don't wear the same colour as the bride" or "don't wear white or a variation on white". I'm assuming it's moreso the latter...

OP, I don't think "cuz it's rude", "it's tradition" etc are good enough reasons not to wear the dress you have. All that matters is whether you'd upstage the bride - and you won't. The focus is gonna be on the bride no matter what. Any upstaging will be in her head - if she's that way inclined...

If other people actually notice it (which I'd really doubt unless, again, it was a blatant attempt at stealing the bride's thunder) and they have objections to it... well **** 'em. Why on earth would a guest get bothered on the bride's behalf?

pseudonym1

Each to their own - its like if a close family member passed away - wearing a bright happy printed dress may be considered rude disrespecful!

All depends on weather how much you know or if not like the person I guess and if she is worth d consideration.


Ps I ****ing hate weddings!

Fajitas!

Dudess wrote: »

It's just... I don't think a white dress would be noticed unless it was deliberately worn in such a way as to make the wearer look like a bride.

Agreed - There's a difference in trying to outdress the bride, and wearing something that'll work for the occasion.

pseudonym1

Fajitas! wrote: »

Agreed - There's a difference in trying to outdress the bride, and wearing something that'll work for the occasion.

Well now wearing a white lace dress or dressing like a bride at someone elses wedding ... a prob means ought to be doing that colour in a straight jacket!

Dudess

pseudonym1 wrote: »

Each to their own - its like if a close family member passed away - wearing a bright happy printed dress may be considered rude disrespecful!

I don't think you're comparing like with like

All depends on weather how much you know or if not like the person I guess and if she is worth d consideration.

That's a good point too.

I know of a person who wore her wedding dress to her friend's wedding (yes, really - lol ) - that's taking the piss and being an attention whore. A white non wedding dress with enough dark accessories... only a problem if the bride chooses to make it so, and if she's the one who draws attention to it.

pseudonym1

Dudess wrote: »

I don't think you're comparing like with like

That's a good point too.

I know of a person who wore her wedding dress to her friend's wedding (yes, really - lol ) - that's taking the piss and being an attention whore. A white non wedding dress with enough dark accessories... only a problem if the bride chooses to make it so, and if she's the one who draws attention to it.

It was a vague simple comparasion regarding - dress occassions traditions manners same crowd etc!
Topic of conversation this morning with aunt and mother ended in them saying white accessorised is acceptable and realised i am prehaps more prudish then them! mmm!
Up to d individual personally wouldnt but that there is just my opinion!

rubyrua

Thanks for all the replies girls! Still not sure what to do to be honest - i have another wk to think bout it!I did question some of my friends etc an out of the eleven ppl i asked ten said to go ahead an wear it cause that was only an old wives tail?
My dress doesnt look anything like a wedding dress to be fair - in that it comes to just below the knee and is a very plain boob tube dress except for the six inches of black around the centre. i have other dresses but i've put on some weight since i wore them an the dont fit! (typical:(), while i personally would pass no heed on what ppl wear etc i dont want to offend anyone hence the initial question, dont really want to go texting the bride either making an issue out of it.
i'm a little surprised that some ppl have such strong views on it though, now i'm wondering what other things I wear \ do that ppl frown upon!!! ... such is life! thanks again though!

il gatto

That doesn't sound too bad, but it's convention not to wear white. Even if your friend is the real laid back type, she's a bride and freaking out is what they do best for the wedding and the six months prior to it.
There's no point saying do your own thing and who cares what the older guests think. Nobody wants to turn up and spend the day as a pariah. And what's wrong with convention anyway? It's the restraint that stops people lookin like idiots.

giggles

The only question you should ask yourself is would the bride mind? If you know for a fact she's doesn't mind, then wear whatever you like and don't mind what other guests might say.

However..., remember the day should really be all about the Bride. She has probably spent months and months planning and has her own idea of a perfect day, so unless you know she wouldn't mind, I wouldn't take the chance of causing any unnecessary upset.

Marz66

A bride and grooms' wedding day is a once in a life time experience, and the one day the bride is expected to (usually) wear white/cream etc, look fantastic and stand out so it does take away from them to see someone else in the same colour. If a bride goes into a bridal shop to get a wedding dress, she'll be picking between ivory, cream, white, if a wedding guest goes to a shop to get a dress, they can pick any colour under the sun so I don't know why anyone would pick the same colour as the bride, its disrespectful imho.

Catari Jaguar

Drama, drama, drama... Who cares? If people whisper, so what? Imagine how many embarrassing relations will be let out for the day to make drunken tits of themselves. As if the colour of your dress will have any impact on the day whatsoever. The bride will probably be so self involved she won't notice 90% of the guests. It's. just. a. dress.

Christ, it's just a dress. I was going to say as long as you have a lot of dark accessories, it's fine, but you are so don't worry! I wore a white dress to a wedding last year with a lot of black and nobody cared, and I didn't even have the black sash^^
If people are only paying attention to a bride because of the colour of her dress something is wrong :rolleyes:
So, go ahead ruby and don't worry about it

what2do

Don't think this is anything I ever thought about that much however having read this I don't think I could ever wear white to a wedding and feel comfortable, I'd be imagining death stares from the bride, her mother, aunts and various other scary women that might be there!

cenfath

I was at a wedding recently where one of my friends wore a black and white dress - it was lovely, not the least bit bridal. On the other hand, there was another girl there in a full white outfit - very bridal style dress, white wrap, think the shoes were white or light metallic. There was a lot of comments passed about her - mainly by all the men there!

kizzyr

cenfath wrote: »

I was at a wedding recently where one of my friends wore a black and white dress - it was lovely, not the least bit bridal. On the other hand, there was another girl there in a full white outfit - very bridal style dress, white wrap, think the shoes were white or light metallic. There was a lot of comments passed about her - mainly by all the men there!

I'm guessing the comments were about her in the dress rather than the dress itself then!
OP wear your dress and wear it well. Personally I think there is a huge fuss over what you do wear and what you don't wear etc etc. Two people who are getting married really shouldn't give a damn what their guests wear. Their marriage is what is and should be important not the clothing. It has been said before and I echo that sentiment now, any woman who throws her toys out of the pram because of something you wear isn't really worth bothering about.
Yes I grant you that wearing an actual wedding dress to someone else's wedding is bad form but then there are only a handful of people who are crass enough to do that.