My Dilemma

LegacyUser

I am 20 she is 24 we have a kid and we live together also getting rent allowance. I have a job she also has a job both part time. we both took a year out of college last year. Well I did PLC and she dropped from her 3rd year course which she is going to the coming week and am going first year.

She got grant and I didn't we are not the richest but just struggling like any other young couples with kid. The problem starts when I got offered a full time job which mean leave college for another year and she gets to go.

I accepted the job just to see what it was like 1st day it was boring and not my type of job. I told my partner I don't like the job and that it wont make me happy. I told her I really want to go college and least to see what its like. I really want to go plus if I skip for the second year would I be able to go next year I might get lazy :S. Plus my parents wants me to go.

So should I stick to the job and forget my happiness. Taking in addition that my rent allowance will be stopped 30+ hours minimum wage.

or

Go college and stick to my part time job and continue rent allowance?

Am so confused what ever I do someone won't be happy.

RoosterIllusion

Bootlegger wrote: »

...what you said...

If you are concerned about your child then I suggest that you do whatever you think is best for the welfare of the child.

If you are not then I suggest you do what is best for you.

Both are viable options.

You could also try to reach a compromise. Why doesn't your partner get a part time job also??

marti101

Do what you want to do if going to college gets you a better job do that.I know i lived in rented accomidation and its hard if you havent got rent allowence especially if the job is minimum wage.Just tell your gf at the minute you would be worse off if you got a job now,to be paying that in rent you might as well get a mortgage.

LegacyUser

RoosterIllusion wrote: »

If you are concerned about your child then I suggest that you do whatever you think is best for the welfare of the child.

If you are not then I suggest you do what is best for you.

Both are viable options.

You could also try to reach a compromise. Why doesn't your partner get a part time job also??

She has a part time job, we both do. I am so confused off course I care about my kid I also want to continue my studies. I just don't know.

spurious

Could you work for a few years and go back to college when your child is at school?

MagicMarker

That was painful to read....

OP, if you can go to college and support your child then go, if you can't then don't. Not yet anyway.

ellie1

go to college. you can work in a job which you hate but you will not be happy and this will lead to frustration which will lead to miscommunication between yourself and your partner. That wont make your child happy. very young children dont understand little money they just need to be fed loved and cared for. i think its easier to do this when your happy in yourself and working towards providing a good future for your child. As a single parent, i went to college and it was one mad financial struggle. i havent looked back..

RoosterIllusion

Bootlegger wrote: »

I care about my kid I also want to continue my studies.

Welcome to being a parent. One of those two things can wait, the other can't. Unfortunately that's the way it is.

littlefriend

GO TO COLLEGE. Think of the bigger picture. You'll struggle for a couple of years but it'll be a struggle anyway. If your parents want you to go to college now then speak to them about giving you some help in the coming months -not necessarily financially but help with minding your baby etc.
You can do it - single parents manage to do it so with two of you it should be possible.

LegacyUser

My girlfriends parent live next door so they will be helping baby sitting and stuff. I feel depressed and stressed.

MagicMarker

Can you afford to go to college and raise a child? That is the most important question.

Forget about people telling you to do what makes you happy. Your happiness took a back seat when you had a child.

Your first priority is your child, if that means working a ****ty job just so you can do that then so be it, just look for a different job.

Like i said, only go back to college if you can still cope financially, if you can't do that right now then is always time in the future.

Oiche_mhaith

Go to college, you could hold it against your kid if you don't, and now is the time to put in the extra work of college and work

Beruthiel

If it is at all possible to take care of your child and go to college, then you should.
In the long run, it will stand to you and ensures you and your family a better future.

Gemini Sister

No doubt about it. College. Miss it and you could be looking at sh*tty jobs for the rest of your working life. Life is easier with a good career and its much harder to go back later. Its not like you'd even be gaining from this other job.