Losing interest or is it a phase?

LegacyUser

Just looking to see what your opinions are on my current state of mind.

Basically, women just dont get my heart racing or even turn my head like they used to, even 2 or 3 years ago. I find when I'm in a bar or whatever, I seem more interested in chatting to my mates and even complete randomers, but I'm not eyeing people or trying to chat girls up. Normal night out for me now is to look around the bar or club, see if there is anyone I like or sparks an interest with me, only to find that there is ablsolutely no one that sparks an interest with me. Its almost like I'm finding it harder and harder to see attractive women!

I'm 21, still in college, been single for nearly 2 years from anything serious. Just to give you some background. And to be honest I dont care that I'm single, I dont care that I'm not getting any "action"... I'm quite content to just go about my work and my training, hang out with friends and basically live my life, all the while having no interest in women... all of a sudden!

Before you suggest it, I am certainly not gay, although I did ask myself if that was what was happening! But no, its not.

Still, I struggle to understand why it is that I find it harder and harder to see attractive women, and why it is I dont care that I am single. And trust me, I'm not the fling/ one night stand kind of guy. I love being in a relationship, but ... I dont know

I'm very confussed, I've been like this for over a year. I cant remember the last time I looked at a girl and went "wow, she's beautiful" it was so long ago. And I'm a very social out going person... Is this just some sort of phase I'm going through? Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe its because I'm in final year of college that my mind is just preoccupied with study... HELP!

Silverfish

I'd say your teenage hormones have died down and you've just settled into 'normality'... it will pick up again, just your attraction to people and the spark might be more subtle, and might take time to recognise.

Or you could just be more preoccupied with study than you think, and once your exams are over and the pressure is lifted it will all change.

Adam

i find a lot of what you're saying quite familiar OP. i too have been single from a serious relationship for almost two years now, and am actually quite content even though, like yourself, i have always been great and thouroughly enjoyed a decent, committed relationship.

however, i find now that i've gotten this far in the post, i can't actually offer you any pearls of wisdom, as i haven't exactly come through this phase yet, if it is indeed a phase. i'm guessing, but i keep getting the niggling feeling i just need a change of scenary..for example, going to new places, doing new things and seeing new faces might be a solution to this.

but my bottom line to you at the very least is that you are not alone, and i don't think we have too much to worry about. i think we're just worrying about the fact that we're actually not worried, when we feel like we should be.

maybe talk to these friends you mentioned, tell them how you feel, or not. you could just suggest some of the above ideas, ask them to join you in some new adventures! i'm sure it will work itself out in time. good luck

RoosterIllusion

Oldman99 wrote: »

I find when I'm in a bar or whatever, I seem more interested in chatting to my mates and even complete randomers, but I'm not eyeing people or trying to chat girls up.

I think when any guy finds himself not overtly attracted to women on sight he will think to himself whether he is gay or not.

The fact is that you are most likely just not looking at the right women at the moment. I know how you feel, it happened to me a few years ago. I changed my regular pub to another one which had an older crowd and I found myself meeting loads of women I wanted to get to know.

I would say have patience and ride it out or else get a change of scene to a different pub or go out with different people the odd night and see what happens.

LegacyUser

Cheers mate, appreciate your comments!

Yeah, I've been thinking about needing a change of scenery too. I think I will most likely not end up working in Ireland once I graduate anyway, but I cant see at the moment how that will sort things out.

Maybe I've just gotten older, and I'm looking for something different... but I dont understand what it is I'm looking for.. hum... I do believe I'm a mess!

Irishcrx

I feel the same, my minds been so occupied with other thing's lately that when I am out I rather chat to friends, catch up , have a laugh and i'm not constantly looking up women and i'm quite happy not to aswell. I'm 21 happy with my hobbies and what i'm doing for the moment so i'm not worried the day will come again when I meet someone right until then...life's pretty good and I don't care how much "Action" i'm getting...

von Neumann

I think this happen to most guys at some point, so relax ,

I can honestly say I can't remember the last time I saw a girl out and about that bowled me over. may be it's just me but I only really fancy girls I already know.