Whats the best way to make 5000 in one month?

carsey

im in a bit of a bind and need to make 5000 euro in one month would prefer not to go to the bank for a loan as i allready have one out,
anyone have any suggestions or am i doomed?

Kiera

If you're hot you could sell your body?

Ruu_Old

Sell your kidney and/or other body part on the black market.

Adam

busk

FruitLover

Pimpin' like ma daddy

Basq

I'll give you 5000 euro.. but since you have no collateral, I'm gonna have to break your legs in advance.

** grabs bat **

Now, let's do this thing!

Havermeyer

Balaclava+gun+bank+getaway car=profit.

biko

Get together with a few lads, have a laugh and a brilliant plan to rob a casino in Las Vegas.
Get some Minis to drive around in.
Or am I getting this mixed up?

deaddonkey

Kiera wrote: »

If you're hot you could sell your body?

yeah you can make a lot of money through that little hole

Sherifu

Kiera wrote: »

If you're hot you could sell your body?

+1 for rent boy. Enjoy your aids.

Simi

You could whore yourself out to 50 fat chicks for 100 bucks a piece. Or 5 really fat chicks for 1000 bucks a piece! Fat chicks need love too. But they gotta pay

s14driftking

Simi wrote: »

You could whore yourself out to 50 fat chicks for 100 bucks a piece. Or 5 really fat chicks for 1000 bucks a piece! Fat chicks need love too. But they gotta pay

brillant:D

ciano1

Sell Blood and Semen

rossie1977

Simi wrote: »

You could whore yourself out to 50 fat chicks for 100 bucks a piece. Or 5 really fat chicks for 1000 bucks a piece! Fat chicks need love too. But they gotta pay

damn i was gonna use that quagmire quote

Adam

rossie1977 wrote: »

damn i was gonna use that quagmire quote

i knew it was familiar...cheap simi

Pride Fighter

Gamble.

wyndham

Walk through Dolphins Barn of an evening and you may find a bag of cash on the ground. Theres usually a few lying around there.

KnifeWRENCH

E-mail some rich gullible person (let's call him Mr.Thick) claiming you are a Nigerian solicitor whose wealthy client recently passed away.
You need somewhere to store the client's $99,000,000,000,000,000,000 and Mr.Thick's bank account is the perfect place for it.
All Mr.Thick has to do is give you ALL of his bank details and he will receive 50% of the cash.

It's so believable I can guarantee he'll fall for it.

EDIT: Mr. Thick is rather a crappy unoriginal name. (unlike the idea itself, which is revolutionary and ingenious) Feel free to come up with a better name.

gixerfixer

Get a job

ewj1978

gixerfixer wrote: »

Get a job

PLease do enlighten me as to where I can get a job that pays €5000 per month... :pac:

Try buying heroin then sell it buy more then sell it continue till Local dealer attempts to kill you aand then run to spain and live like a Dude!

Dardania

Learn how to count cards (blackjack bringing down the house style)

Why ya need 5k faster than anyone else?

antodeco

Buy fruity loops and become bass hunter.

javaboy

Go on Dragon's Den and tell them about your fantastic new invention Steorn. Tell them you can't actually demonstrate it working but that you want a shedload of money anyway. Play them off against each other too. That always pays more.

Caoimhín

Prostitute yourself.

Blackjack

Dardania wrote: »

Learn how to count cards (blackjack bringing down the house style)

Leave me outa this!

Kiera

caoibhin wrote: »

Prostitute yourself.

Oh how didnt anyone else think of that?

mike65

Stick a tenner on a 6 race accu at the Curragh today. Okay maybe best not.

Mike

Caoimhín

ewj1978 wrote: »

PLease do enlighten me as to where I can get a job that pays €5000 per month...!

Civil service?

You dont have to actually work either. Just show up and be a pain in the arse to members of the public.

shenanigans1982

Just rent out and disney movie where they need to raise money because their school/ clubhouse is getting closed down and they will give you an idea. The normal one is normally a naked car wash but with the Irish weather I dunno if that is a valid idea.

And remember once you have the 5000 the evil person in your situation will try and claim that you came up with it too late or will try some underhanded trick to close down your school....but things will be ok in the end.

SV

Honestly?

Sell drugs, quickest way to make 5grand in a month..you'll make it without even trying.
Make about 30grand if ya do it any way serious.*


*I endorse none of this.

Dub13

If you have 50 euro go into a Paddy Power shop and put it on Martin King to be the next Host of The Late Late Show.You can get him @ 100/1.

I have insider info,don't tell many people.:cool:

mike65

This works for some

http://www.carzone.ie/my/index.cfm?fuseaction=help.page&page=help_fraud_419.htm

Mike

ejmaztec

Come up with an idea to harness the power of projectile vomit so that we no longer need carbon fuels.

Jack Sheehan

On your knees? Or all fours?

javaboy

shenanigans1982 wrote: »

Just rent out and disney movie where they need to raise money because their school/ clubhouse is getting closed down and they will give you an idea. The normal one is normally a naked car wash but with the Irish weather I dunno if that is a valid idea.

And remember once you have the 5000 the evil person in your situation will try and claim that you came up with it too late or will try some underhanded trick to close down your school....but things will be ok in the end.

Yeah this is a good idea. But the following have been done so you'll have to find something else:

*A musical
*Winning a song contest
*Remaking films and then renting them out to people
*Dodgeball
*Naked car wash

Ishmael

gixerfixer wrote: »

Get a job

Get 2 Jobs

kmart6

Go on the Dole!

Dub13

kmart6 wrote: »

Go on the Dole!

And earn maybe 200 a week.

javaboy

Me and my associates have a foolproof method for earning more money than you could possibly imagine.

First, let me assure you that this is not one of those shady pyramid schemes you’ve been hearing about. No sir. Our model is the trapezoid!

minxie

javaboy wrote: »

Me and my associates have a foolproof method for earning more money than you could possibly imagine.

First, let me assure you that this is not one of those shady pyramid schemes you’ve been hearing about. No sir. Our model is the trapezoid!

pray tell ,,, whats this???

javaboy

minxie1 wrote: »

pray tell ,,, whats this???

Ok I'll be honest with you. I really didn't think any further than that Simpson's quote. I got nothing really.

AlmightyCushion

Ruu wrote: »

Sell your kidney and/or other body part on the black market.

Or sell someone elses kidney.

ewj1978

remember the bath of ice.... Wouldn't want a murder on your hands...

javaboy

There's such a stigma around the whole "sell your kidney" thing. People immediately think of a dodgy backstreet surgeon or the urban myth of waking up in a bath of ice with a large scar.

But it's really nothing like that. Most people don't actually sell their kidneys per se these days anyway. It's more a case of naming a preferred receiver on your organ donation card now. Basically that person gets first refusal on your innards should you meet with an unfortunate accident. Think of it like passive organ selling.

Now admittedly it doesn't pay as well as proactive organ donation but it is a handy way of unlocking the equity tied up in your squishy internals.

Sign up now and you'll get an exciting free gift!

Capt'n Midnight

if you have rich frieds /relatives / employeers you could fake a kidnapping

pothole + foot = compo

sell your body to science

sell an imaginary friend on ebay

become a pimp

start an escort agency using your spare room

blackmail someone - the trick to getting away with it is not to be greedy , eventually you would be caught if you keep milking it

Kiera

Sell you soul!

jackbutler

"you could whore yourself out to 50 fat chicks for 100 bucks euro* a piece"

"or or 5 REALLY fat chicks for 1000 bucks euro"


quagmire-quotes for every day purpose

Kiera

jackbutler wrote: »

"you could whore yourself out to 50 fat chicks for 100 bucks euro* a piece"

"or or 5 REALLY fat chicks for 1000 bucks euro"


quagmire-quotes for every day purpose

1st rule of boards - read whole thread before jumping in with what you think might be funny.

In other words, that joke has been done in this thread

RoosterIllusion

You could rob €1 from 5,000 unsuspecting church poorboxes around the country...

Eoin

RoosterIllusion wrote: »

You could rob €1 from 5,000 unsuspecting church poorboxes around the country...

On that note, you could also try and get every chugger in town to sign a direct debit payable to you. See how they like it.

Jay P

Ebay! Pick up a random doodle and sell it as a "modern art original" for €20,000. I get the extra €15,000 cos its my idea.