Brothers depression-residential care?

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,i am really concerned about my partners brother,he is suffering a lot from depression,has a lot of anxiety,panic and he is not able to converse much,if anyone tries to help him he gets very annoyed and pushes everyone away.... he stays in his room and is not eating much,he tries to meditate without having to feel anything because i suspect the pain is too intense for him.... i have been where he is myself,but i got some help through therapy and was able to reclaim my life back,he is a very shy guy and he doesnt want to do any therapy,he also is refusing any medication.

there is a lot of issues around him the house he lives in is a party house,his mum and brothers just ignore the problem,and smoke dope and take drugs and drink around him with every tom dick and harry off the street in the house.

My boyfriend is really concerned about him and has been getting some advice as what to do and we are trying to find some residential care for him... does anyone have any suggestions of a place that would suit him and his needs.... there has been alot of cut back in the health system but we have managed to get some money for him if needed.

Any advice appreciated.

Strokesfan

Hi OP, How old is he?

Residential care sounds very drastic - it could be very unsettling for him. Even if his family doesn't act in his best interests, it's still his family and he might not want to be separated from them.

Is there any other forms of support he can get? relatives that he could move in with for a while? I don't really know but he sounds like he's trying to cope but it's overwhelming him. Ideally could someone sit down the family and ask them to quieten things down for a while, less visiters etc?

Drodan

I've delt with depression in my family and it sounds to me like you should get him out of the house, but residential care seems too drastic. If it is possible for him to move out to a relative's place it would be better. He would be away from his mother and other siblings(the smoking ones)yet it wouldn't be seen as the reason he moved was because of him, or his "flaws" as he could see it.

My name is URL

Has he been diagnosed with schizophrenia or clinical depression? You mentioned medication so presumably so. Lot's of people suffer from intermittent bouts of depression and anxiety but forcing him to seek help really depends on alot of factors such as age and whether he poses a danger to himself or others. If he's under the age of 18 you or your B/F could contact social services, citing that your worried about his situation at home.

If he's over 18 it's more difficult, realisticly the only way to make the state intervene is to show that he has suicidal tendencies or that he poses a danger to others.

If he's determined to turn down all offers of help maybe it would be a good idea to round up some of his friends and pay him a visit, if he see's that people care about his wellbeing he may accept help but it's not certain, and as with all interventions may turn ugly if not carried out in a calm enviroment.

Either way I would say that your B/F should contact his GP for some advice.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/health/mental-health/mental_health_services

Latchy

OP, It's nice to see that while others around him are indifferent to his plight , you care enough to want to help him .

I am sure one day he will look back and thank you and his brother for your concern .

Best wishs

Kevster

Hi,

I agree with the first person who replied (in stating that residential care sounds drastic). Alternatively, I believe that you should arrange an appointment at your local doctor (GP) for him. The GP should be the first step in getting any problem sorted, as he/she will have the necessary general medical knowledge and contacts to handle the problem. For example, I went from my GP to a psychiatrist, and then to a therapist.

During that time, I also had a stay in a psychiatric hospital, but they are mostly reserved for people who are so depressed that they simply cannot cope with life. For example, I was actively trying to kill myself when I was committed.

Kevin

Victor

Institutionalisation is a risk. Sure he needs a change of surroundings, but he also needs a supporting family structure - well, one that is trustworthy. there are some locations that do morning or afternoon courses to help people with mental health issues.

What might be useful is if you work on normalising improvement for him. Whether through his circumstances or depression, he appears quite resistant to improving himself or his condition.

I think gradually encouraging him to take part in activities would help. Start with small stuff "We have pizza*, come and have some" and then working up to getting him out of the house for a few hours at a time. Use this to build a trust and see about encouraging him to get treament.

Realise that you probably can't solve everything by yourself, but one step at a time can make big improvements.

Try to make contact with AWARE or other local groups. www.aware.ie


* Or whatever food he is likely to eat.

LegacyUser

Hi all thanks for the replies... he is 25 years old.Its going on 10 years now.

We know the situation is drastic enough for residential care in fact we feel it is really inevitable right now-

im basically trying to find the best treatment i can for him,i have heard of a place in co. louth that is for people who have breakdowns and need some time out to recover,it has a more healthy modern approach as opposed to places like portrane etc.
i just cant remember the name of it,i thought some people might know of some similar places,there seems to be a lot of addiction residential care units but less on the mental health area,i wonder has anyone any knowledge of such places .... even if it is abroad,i would like to research it,thanks.

aidan24326

blonde wrote: »

Hi all thanks for the replies... he is 25 years old.Its going on 10 years now.

We know the situation is drastic enough for residential care in fact we feel it is really inevitable right now-

im basically trying to find the best treatment i can for him,i have heard of a place in co. louth that is for people who have breakdowns and need some time out to recover,it has a more healthy modern approach as opposed to places like portrane etc.
i just cant remember the name of it,i thought some people might know of some similar places,there seems to be a lot of addiction residential care units but less on the mental health area,i wonder has anyone any knowledge of such places .... even if it is abroad,i would like to research it,thanks.

Does he have VHI? If so he could go private. St Pat's in Dublin is really good, I couldn't reccomend it highly enough from knowing someone who was there (with depression).
website http://www.stpatrickshosp.com/

If he has to go public, go to a good GP and get a referral, GPs deal with this stuff quite alot and any decent GP should be able to point you in the right direction and make a referral if necessary.

LegacyUser

Thanks aidain,really appreciate it,it seems like the right place for his symptoms... il give them a call xx

Victor

You will need to check the policy - VHI will cover substance abuse, but not mental health.