Bachelor For Life?

LegacyUser

Hi,
I'm 33 y/o male and have been single for a few years. In that time I've met,dated & slept with numerous girls through work & out clubbing etc but none that I could see myself having a meaningful r/ship with never mind settling down. I never seem to meet girls I like. I have tried I/net dating sites and have been contacted by girls but none of them have I found attractive to be honest - might sound shallow but its the truth.
I really don't see any avenues left for me. I feel like the few single mates I have and I have got stuck into a rut of constantly going down the pub at weekend and sometimes in to town sometimes getting "lucky". I would love to cut this back a bit for health & finance reasons, but its a bit catch 22 like if you dont go out you have no chance of meeting anyone. Also its tough enough to talk to strangers with a few drinks on board so trying it completely sober would be nigh on impossible for me. So I have the reliable 3 or 4 girl's (generally a goodn few years younger than me) numbers which I call when drunk at w/end and end up with them. People think I am a party animal but I'd love to settle down.
My big fear is that I will just end with someone for the sake of it which wouldn't be fair on anyone or will spend the rest of my life a lonely old man.
Anybody got any ideas to inspire me or give me a kick up the ar*e?

Wurly

What are your hobbies? Maybe take a class? Do a bit of travel?

Take part in things that you have a true passion for. Each person you are around will have a common interest.

Personally, I think pubs are crap ways to meet people. Internet dating sucks too.

I think common interest is the key tbh.

And if you keep saying you wont find someone, you won't. You will appear desperate and intense... This will show in your body language.

Get off the bar stool and get out there. Enjoy yourself. Be fulfilled. Follow your passion...

People are attracted to happy people.

Chill! It's all good.

Best of luck:)

Are not attracted to anyone at all.
If not why don't you approach the women you fancy?

SnowMonkey

Dude i know where your coming from.

I love meeting new women but ther enever new there all into the same crap shoping shoes bags and going out with the girl's and painting the all to firmiliour picture of live your life to th emax dance like no ones watchin and love like you've never hurt, How can any one relate to any one with a 9 to 5 job.... granted some of you do but thats a select number i feel most women are boreing as hell once you get into a 10 minite conversation with them.....
and you go into automatic yes mode i understand, while watching the tv with a strategicly place pint glass ... the point im making is there are fook all decent women to be had in ireland there all into pink the colour and girl stuff like allmost early 90's L,A type behavour, ....

any woman i have meet whos remotley interesting eather lives in another country and has come home for a weekend, or has a boyfriend. or worse a lucky husband

now im not so shore i want a girlfriend at the mo as im thinkin of travelling. :cool:... so would be unfair but then again a lot of young people are travelling at the mo so id say in two years time there should be loads of cool single women well hopefully

beth-lou

SnowMonkey wrote: »

Dude i know where your coming from.

I love meeting new women but ther enever new there all into the same crap shoping shoes bags and going out with the girl's and painting the all to firmiliour picture of live your life to th emax dance like no ones watchin and love like you've never hurt, How can any one relate to any one with a 9 to 5 job.... granted some of you do but thats a select number i feel most women are boreing as hell once you get into a 10 minite conversation with them.....
and you go into automatic yes mode i understand, while watching the tv with a strategicly place pint glass ... the point im making is there are fook all decent women to be had in ireland there all into pink the colour and girl stuff like allmost early 90's L,A type behavour, ....

any woman i have meet whos remotley interesting eather lives in another country and has come home for a weekend, or has a boyfriend. or worse a lucky husband

now im not so shore i want a girlfriend at the mo as im thinkin of travelling. :cool:... so would be unfair but then again a lot of young people are travelling at the mo so id say in two years time there should be loads of cool single women well hopefully

Try going to differnt pubs etc. I know loads of lovely girls / women who have no interest in shopping, bank balances, cars etc. Don't go for the glamour puss. The more laid back looking girl is most probably more laid back in personality. There are loads of nice girls out there who know there are more important things in life such as having a laugh and a giggle. Try drinking in less trendy places.

AngryBadger

Here's the thing OP< if the problem is with the women you're meeting (i.e. that they're not suited to you) then you need to be meeting different women, try different watering holes, join a club, take a class, do something, anything that introduces you to new faces.

Honestly though, while joining an activity group will increase the likelihood of you meeting someone with similar interests, it's in no way a guarantee that you're going to be suited to each other at all. The only difference is that you'll probably be in a group and it'll be easier to get talking to women.

My point is that the kind of woman you want is probably out in clubs/pubs thinking the same thing you are, if you want to find her and get to know her then you need to chat to more women when you're out and about. Sod this @difficulty@ with chatting, just say hello, or make a joke or whatever, and if you get shot down then that's their loss, so move on.

Also, 33 is not (in my view) an especially "dangerous" age to be a bachelor.

littlefriend

Well I'm 34 and also single. I am nothing remotely like the girls that a previous poster described though I know the type he means...'I love shoes and handbags and sex and the city' and talk like they are in Friends etc. By any chance did you see the front of the Sunday Indo Magazine - 3 orange girls with champagne glasses or similar. Is that what we are meant to aspire to look like?
Anyway, as I'm also single clearly I don't have the answer you are looking for, however, I find that since I stopped partying and going out so that I didn't have to stay in on my own I began to feel a lot happier about myself and things in general. Also, I've started getting fit [with other people but not in a gym] and that makes me feel good, is something to do and I've met some nice people. I got a dog as well who is such a delight to come home to and he makes me think about something other than myself and my worries. Actually, bringing him out for walks etc takes me ages because I end up talking to all sorts of people along the way. Not exactly rock and roll but it feels so much better than being hungover etc.
I guess my story is a little different as I was in a black hole of depression for a couple of years so I had to change my lifestyle. A few of my friends are still out there Friday and Saturday nights and they think I'm so boring.
Anyway, bottom line - don't settle. And those few girls that you are with when you are drunk - that is settling too.

SnowMonkey

beth-lou wrote: »

Try going to differnt pubs etc. I know loads of lovely girls / women who have no interest in shopping, bank balances, cars etc. Don't go for the glamour puss. The more laid back looking girl is most probably more laid back in personality. There are loads of nice girls out there who know there are more important things in life such as having a laugh and a giggle. Try drinking in less trendy places.

I dont drink in trendy place's, they dont let me near the door, so i drink in pubs most of the time. well feel free to point them in the right direction:D,and i do agree there are they aint any where near where i live thats for shore...