Concerned about being too nice in career terms

Affable

I'm concerned that up until this point, my problem has been being too nice and in not fulfilling any of my potential in career terms. I am more ambitious in the long term. But I think I need to show more self interest(even self-servingness)in getting want I want and striving for something hard. I have felt in the past that I had to have obsessive, huge levels of focus to achieve anything I wanted to because my innate disposition is perhaps not self serving enough or too held up by decency.(I feel that in reference to other people) So is this my own paranoia? Or am I right to think this?-If so, then there seem to be two options-

1)Accept that one's true nature cannot be changed if one is laid back or gentle or whatever, ad just enjoy life.
2)Try and rail against one's natural tendencies, which while not changing one's base nature, will have some effect in getting me to where I want.

Don't know which.

Advice or common experience appreciated.

SpookyDoll

Hmmm, Op I think its all a question of degree......

If you could take an example of something you want to achieve, say, by next year I want to move up one grade/level and then ask yourself what needs to be done to make this happen, it may be that you dont have to change your gentle nature at all to do it....

Or it may be that you do have to change and then you have to decide to what degree and if the end result is worth the sacrifice/change....

Sometimes you might decide the goal is not worth it for the amount of change it requires and sometimes you might decide it is worth it.

If you are by nature a gentle and passive person it can be hard to find "a level" of assertiveness which is comfortable, really I find its all about trial and error.

It is by no means necessary to become a total aggressive git to get on in your career. At first it can feel uncomfortable say, becoming more ruthless etc but after a while you will hopefully find a comfortable level.

Being decent is a great thing, but being overly decent to the level that you become a doormat is detrimental to self.

Anyway, just my tuppence! Good luck!

AARRRGH

You just need to learn how to play office politics. That doesn't mean changing who you are at all. It means saying the right things when you are talking to certain people. You also need to come across like you take your job seriously, and give the impression you are ambitious yet supportive.

This should be fairly easy in most offices, as you probably work with a lot of 'tards and disgruntled/unmotivated individuals.

AngryBadger

OP can you be a bit more specific regarding what you think you should be doing that you aren't already?

My experience has been that hard work is always rewarded, no matter how stupid/political your office is, at the end of the day the person who brings in the clients/contracts/whatever is the person that gets the promotions. Saying that, obviously if you aren't putting yourself forward for consideration well that's something else entirely.

Affable

AngryBadger wrote: »

OP can you be a bit more specific regarding what you think you should be doing that you aren't already?
.

Not achieving what I should be for my ability, not challenging myself enough, I guess I need to be in a job where I feel more fulfilled, make my presence felt and do something valuable.

AARRRGH

AngryBadger wrote: »

My experience has been that hard work is always rewarded, no matter how stupid/political your office is, at the end of the day the person who brings in the clients/contracts/whatever is the person that gets the promotions.

My experience is very different. Hard work/competence has very little to do with your chance of becoming a manager

LegacyUser

AARRRGH wrote: »

My experience is very different. Hard work/competence has very little to do with your chance of becoming a manager

+1


Career management is in Your hands not your manager's (or director's) hands

Newsflash : they will want to keep things as they are no matter how hard you work OR whichever politics you play for that matter.
You need to move out of their specific sphere of influence to progress (be that other department or company)

Hellrazer

AARRRGH wrote: »

My experience is very different. Hard work/competence has very little to do with your chance of becoming a manager

Same here...we`ve a knob here who thinks he owns the place and the only way he got where he is is because hes brown nosed himself into that position,yet when his superiors arent around he does 3 hour lunches,leaves early,takes days off etc tec.
Thing is hes (supposed) to be at the same level as me yet he tries to do everyone elses job yet cant do his own job right.Does my head in.

/Rant over.

Marksie

AARRRGH wrote: »

My experience is very different. Hard work/competence has very little to do with your chance of becoming a manager

+1
Especially in the civil service. Where the ability to play the game far outweighs any other abilities