Meeting ex (with my girlfriend) advice?

Monkey61

Okay, to briefly summarise, I used to be totally in love with this girl ( we'll call her Margaret),who I was really good friends with for about two years. She was a whore and lead me on to a ridiculously cruel extent. I knew her best friend (Eve)to see but the three of us never hung out. We finally went out on the piss one night and me and Eve got on really well. While Margaret was away on holiday, Eve asked me out and we went on a date and had an amazing time.

I told Margaret a week or two later. Of course that was the time for her to decide that she was absolutely in love in love with me and in fact had been for ages. Fairytale yada yada yada. I was so under the spell that I told her that I wouldn't see Eve anymore. Cue Margaret running straight over to Eve's house and telling her this.

Obviously a week later Margaret changed her mind about me entirely - cue much horrendous pain on my part - as she continued to still lead me on for the next couple of months.

Anyway, myself and Eve eventually got it together and have been blissfully in love for 3 and a half years now.

I haven't seen Margaret in a long time, though Eve saw her a couple of months ago. Curiosity of course kills the cat and we are meeting up with her next week. Despite the evilness and the fact that we both kind of hate her - we are dying to know what she's up to. This is mainly due to the fact that she has repeated the same trick she played on me with numerous people that we have known since. Including one of my best friends - who she was playing along at the same time as me and nearly destroyed our friendship - much to her delight.

Basically she is whore and pretty messed up. She only makes friends with people that are in love her and then uses them until she's bored with them. But still we are dying to know what she's up to now. I can't quite explain the hold she has over people - but within minutes of meeting her over Christmas, Eve was vowing lifelong friendship with her. She is super charming and could easily convince you black was white.

The main reason we want to meet her, curiosity aside, is to put up a united front. Cos she always thought of both of us as belonging to her and we want to show her that we are happy as a couple etc.She doesn't let things go and she will not give up texting us until we see her. Up until a few months ago, she was still sending me the odd drunken late night text telling me that she was still thinking about me. I know if we don't meet her she will think it's because I'm still in love with her and just can't handle seeing her.

So how should we act? Should we be super friendly or should we be pleasant and polite? We also presume she will have the latest of her fans along with her and wonder if we should just pay more attention to him than to her as this will freak her out no end - as she likes to bring adorers out with her and then ignore them.

So thoughts?

dr.bollocko

You should cancel the meeting and cop the hell on in your happy relationship man!

Nevyn

Get on with your own life and don't go looking for trouble.

chump

IMO

It's pathetic that you even would consider meeting her.

What is the maximum gain?

Revenge (oh we showed her) - pathetic
Curiosity - pathetic



She should be long consigned to the dustbin by now.

Good day to you.

pookie82

I think it's a very bad idea to meet up with her. is she seriously hot or something? Does she cast spells? Have beer flavoured nipples?

The "hold" you describe her having over the both of you as well as everyone else she meets seems rather odd and creepy.

Anyway, you two were royally screwed over by this "whore" as you call her. Why either of you would want to be in the same room again, let alone arrange to meet her and be strangely excited by it, is odd in the extreme.

However, I suspect you guys are going to go through with it anyway. If so, I predict there'l be a lot of **** stirring on her end, a lot of texts and memory rehashing afterwards, and a world of trouble for your current relationship. If you really just want to show her that you're in a secure relationship right now and are over her, the best way to do so is to ignore her requests and keep her out of your lives.

Wagon

If it's a case where she won't stop sending texts about meeting up etc... then meet up with her, so you can shut her up. But if you can easily text her back and say "**** off" then do that instead! Don't bother your hole seeing her, she's probably in the exact same position with someone else as you were with her a few years ago.

LegacyUser

Have to agree with what everyone else has said.

You hate her. You think she's evil. She's a messed up whore. She messed you and your OH around in the past. She nearly ruined a friendship.

What is to be gained here?

You are asking for trouble and it is coming your way.

Liam Byrne

I'm usually all on for staying in touch with exes, coz if there was once something there there's no point falling out if things don't work out.

But there's a few that I have no desire to meet again, including one or two that sound similar to what you've described above.

WHY would you possibly want to meet her ? Why would you want to "act" around her ?

The best way to deal with people like this is to treat them in an equivalent way to the way they treated you. Not in a "revenge" way, or lowering yourself to their standards, but to basically dismiss them as not worth knowing.

And not knowing someone means not meeting up.

Karen_*

Don't meet up with her. Cut the cord. And to hell with what she thinks because you're doing far too much thinking about her and you both care far too much what she thinks. You want to show her that she hasn't got a hold over you and that you don't care? Well thats not entirely true is it?

sinnerboy

You guys just HAVE to be washing yout hair that night instead ....
There is no positive reason the meet this person . Be glad to have each other

GabiP

As you have been told already this is not a good idea, get over your curiosity & forget this cow. The only reason I would sympathise with you is this...If you live in the back of beyonds and there is only 1 pub for miles that you absolutely know you are likely to bump into her, other wise, cancel this meeting, change your phone numbers and get her out of your system. Cut all ties with her cos if you dont, you may find that your "lovely" relationship is actually based on you & your gf competing against this harlot and not on what it's meant to be based on.
If you are in the "pub in the middle of nowhere" situation and know you would bump into this girl, one way of sickening her is to have gotten engaged to your gf & let her cop the rock!
Are you really all that curious?? I think maybe someones ego is getting massaged here hmm? c'mon, you still want her!:p

Clare Bear

First off, stop calling her a whore! :rolleyes: Whatever you think of her try to be bit more grown up about it. And secondly, get on with your life. You're with a great girl now, you don't need that other person, don't meet her. Not caring is the best revenge. We all have people that have hurt us in the past who we'd love to show how good our lives are now without them and that we don't need them anymore. But knowing yourself that you and your girlfriend are happy and that girl probably isn't if she's still carrying on that way should be enough for you, you don't have to prove anything to anyone, including yourself. Don't meet her and be happy!

SpookyDoll

"The main reason we want to meet her, curiosity aside, is to put up a united front. Cos she always thought of both of us as belonging to her and we want to show her that we are happy as a couple etc."

Listen to me, this one DOESNT CARE about anyone other than herself, she is not about input, in other words nothing you are trying to convey to her will go in to her brain.

She is about output, in other words what SHE wants to convey to the world "her audience"

You will go along there all nervous and hyped up waiting to "show her" that you are a united couple or whatever only for her to totally steal the show with some totally unexpected news that will put the spotlight firmly back on her, she will be going out with Colin Farrell or pregnant with triplets by Brad Pitt or something.

Anyway, please dont go, she is a narcissistic fookin eejit and the best way you two can show her she doesnt matter to you any more is just to plain not go!

Then she doesnt get the chance to lord it over yiz once again!

Smart Bug

Sounds very like a situation I'm kinda in/out of at the moment. My advice - stay the hell away from women (girls really) like that.

Don't jeopardise what you've got by bringing her back into the mix, because, believe me she will try and throw herself right between the two of you.