so i messed it up.

LegacyUser

hey ,i aint come here for pity or anything just wanna write this down and let it out i think ill feel better about my situation.

i just moved here from the from the north of england about 7-8 months ago to work.
was offerd a job and jumped at the chance.
i started seeing this great girl about two months ago and everything was going sweet and i mean sweet!
but i ended up ****ing it up last weekend by getting too drunk and i think i freaked her out and made her feel uncomfortable.
it wasent in a sleazy way just me being a prick way.
im not a great drinker anyway more a smoker so i know i should have paced myself more but no i have to go and screw it like that.
she text me the next day saying she didnt wanna see me again.
ive accepted that as it takes two to tango and im not gonna beg for forgiveness or make a bigger fool out of myself by running after her.ive apologised to her and thats the only contact ive made.
she text me last night saying i shouldnt be mad...lol im not mad im disapointed in myself and gutted.
i know it was only a short period but we saw each other nearly every day and i was smitten by her.
i really regret this ****ty situation i brought upon myself and wish i hadnt of been a fool,had a great feeling about her.
im still trying to figure out the lesson of this story i think it could be dont drink when your starting a new relationship or dont drink too much lol.
seems i just cant have nice things lol.
well i feel better already,sorry for boring you people,thanks for having a outlet for these things.

Karen_*

What did you do when you were drunk that freaked her out or are you just a terrible drunk?

Look, what's happened has happened and you can't undo it. All you can do is move on and try to forget about it. But if you're a terible drunk and you don't want this to happen again then either wait a very long time in a relationship before you let yourself get drunk or lay off the booze. You feel horrible now and its not worth letting that happen again.

RedXIV

everyone messes up mate, and unless what you did was actually gut wrenchingly awful, you still might be able to salvage this.

Man talk time:
Women in this country are alot tougher than most other countries and you'd be suprised how much our slagging culture has desensitised most of them. Jokes that would get hearty laughs in this country have resulted in me getting kicked out of a bar in the states. So yeah tough skin females in this country
/Man talk time

Also, while you may think the best thing to do is completely leave the sitution, if she's preying on your mind this much, i'd recommend seeing what you can do to fix it

Best of Luck

Red

LegacyUser

Karen_* wrote: »

What did you do when you were drunk that freaked her out or are you just a terrible drunk?

Look, what's happened has happened and you can't undo it. All you can do is move on and try to forget about it. But if you're a terible drunk and you don't want this to happen again then either wait a very long time in a relationship before you let yourself get drunk or lay off the booze. You feel horrible now and its not worth letting that happen again.

well in this instance i was just a terrible drunk i think,im not a great drinker but i just had far too much and really i never had a bad experiance like that before.
i let my guard down thinking i was well in there,mistakes i wont make again.
i wanna lay off the booze for as long as i can,shame the main socialising tool in our society is a pint.
nah it will never happen again.
thanks for the reply.

@red

well i wouldnt say gutwrechingly awful no but i doubt i can salvage anything.she seems to have made her mind up and its not in me to beg/cry/harrass.
she is preying on my mind though and its annoyin,getting it off my chest here helps a bit.
cheers for your reply too.

one thing id like to add is that i feel like saying to her that noone is perfect and i really didnt mean to and that it would never happen again.but im not prepared to listen to her shoot me down again lol.

RedXIV

afool wrote: »

one thing id like to add is that i feel like saying to her that noone is perfect and i really didnt mean to and that it would never happen again.but im not prepared to listen to her shoot me down again lol.

Um trust me on this mate, that line of yours right there will get you in more trouble than its worth. You sound like you're trying to justify your actions rather than level the playing field.

being a horrible drunk is unfortunate but not a crime. ask her if she would considering doing stuff with you that didn't involve alcohol, there are LOADS of things you can do that doesn't involve the stuff. and if you do end up thinking of a bar, eat enough food to almost make you sick, you'll find it pretty hard to get drunk then also

LegacyUser

RedXIV wrote: »

Um trust me on this mate, that line of yours right there will get you in more trouble than its worth. You sound like you're trying to justify your actions rather than level the playing field.

yeah i agree thats why i aint said anything,its the only thing i can think off right now though.
i guess these things happen,just sucks going from great to nothing in a matter of hours because i wasent able for the drink at that time.
nevermind,valueable lessons were learnt if nothing else.
thanks again.

LegacyUser

relax.

This happens to most people until they finally cop on about alcohol.

Hopefully this is the experience that you cop on from. It took me SEVERAL embarrassing situations that I will never live down.

At the end of the day, it's all about evolution and learning from your mistakes. I'm a better man now and a wiser man.

Hopefully you can say the same.

LolaDub

OP it does sound like you're trying to justify your actions to yourself rather than get the girl back. If you really wanted her and it was entirely your fault that you broke up you should have a bit of humility and approach her with a proper apology and a resolution ie not getting that drunk again.

To be honest heavy drinking is a huge warning sign in the early days of a relationship. Unless a guy can show that he isn't all about the drink the most girls won't want to know. I suggest you really think to yourself why you're posting and then do something about it.

Velvet Vocals

I totally agree with LolaDub. It sounds like you're having the hangover from hell. Guilt & shame wrapping them selves around you, plus you lost your girl.

TBH I admire that girl, she doesn’t want to be treated that way and she's sticking to her guns. If she backed down really easily now, subconsciously you might think that it's ok to do that.... in saying that it doesn’t mean that you should give up.... wait a while and call her... if you like her this much why not?

LegacyUser

@wow100
yeah hopefully i can put this negative experience behind me and become a better person and yeah this is my booze wakeup call.

@loladub
em no im not trying to justifying my actions to a bunch of strangers i just dont know how else to formulate whats in my head at this time if thats what it sounds like sorry.
yes i should try the humble approach but im worried about further rejection (sounds sad but true).

@velvet yeah guilt and shame is what im feeling right now thats true.
i did really like her yeah and maybe i will call but again i think id end up sounding like i was begging her back which i cant do.

thanks for your pov's folks

Nevyn

There are things which we do and say to other people that we can never take back and we can never un do what it has done to them, no matter how sorry we are or how out of charcther or the norm such acts are for us.

We did them and we have to accept the consquences even if we don't like them.

Right now she seems to be hurting and angry with what happened, maybe over time that will heal or fade but you have to acept her choice to not have you in her life after what has happened. You can't make her forgive you.

Fat Pie Lot

If she was that great, is it not worth giving it another shot?

I'm not talking about pining over the poor girl and stalking her :P, just let her know that you've been thinking about the incident and she had every right to get angry, but you value her as a friend at the very least and you don't want to close the door on that and let her know she's more than welcome to call you.

sinnerboy

1 chink of hope . she texted you last night . In Ireland "mad" can mean "silly" not simply "angry" . So depending on the context of the text she just may have been softening up as in "don't be silly / lets forget it" . Maybe .

Look if you do miss her - sometimes we stoop low to reach high ( to parphrase Bono)