Friends Creating trouble

john_aero

I got engaged a while ago and since then my partners old friends whom she has broken contact with have been trying get on our nerves.

they have been ungrateful and constantly making smart comments about us and it reay upsets her.

but last night i spotted that one of them had decided to load pics of my partner up of before we met of her with another person and at house parties and with people.

this does affect me and i know it will hurt her as well but am i over reaticng when i let this stuff get to me and what should i do. i knwo i should just ignore it but still hard watching these images been shown and not what either of us want to see realy

c - 13

Dude i've been in a very similar situation to you and I sympathise.

I met my girlfriend through a girl I used to work with, after we got together our mutual friend took a disliking to the two of us together and her and her friends went out of their way to break us up - Spreading rumors that I cheated on her, trying to persuade her to cheat when they went away on holiday (they stayed friends) by bringing a lad back to the hotel room for her and so on and so forth.

Eventually my G/F saw through them and broke contact with them. I still come home to a slew of rumours about us every time i'm home (I work abroad), but i've learned to laugh it off. We've taken to verifying all rumours about ourselves too (really pisses off the rumour starters).

I know our situations arent identical but basically I advise you to do the same, ignore those fucking begrudgers, I know its hard, but if they see theyre gettign to you they will keep it up. You and your fiancee are obviously happy together and they dont like that, so throw it in their faces.

I wish you the best of luck man.

Also try not to let the images bother you, it was a real bastardly thing to do to you, but her past is her past after all and she's chosen you now.

steo27

TAKE IT ON THE CHIN MATE,,

Bad things eventually get bored and move on....

2 years ago i had nothing... i was on the dole, and my rent at my mothers was 100 per week. I got a job by chance and began a career.... payment was by the month.... all good i thought until my own mother put her hand out... i gave her 300e cause i'd already paid 100 but she was not happy she wanted 5 or 6 now.

so i got evicted from home.... i stayed in the g/f mothers for 4 days and we got an flat....

since then my gf has got a rise and i have progressed up the ladder????

all good eh...... not so

my mother has tried to split us up.... my son is never out of her home (my son from a previous relationship)

the g/f family never seem to have money, and always ringing

we have helped out everyone in the past, but with no thanks.

last xmas me and my g/f gave up gifts for our selves and spent 2000 on pressies for both sides and we got nothing in return... this xmas will be different....


we have put everyone on the long finger and not gettin worked up about anything. me and the g/f are focused on the future for ourselves not people around us

steo27

steo27 wrote: »

my mother has tried to split us up.... my son is never out of her home (my son from a previous relationship)



we have put everyone on the long finger and not gettin worked up about anything. me and the g/f are focused on the future for ourselves not people around us

Why is your son visiting with your mother instead of you.

Your making a big mistake if your putting your child on the long finger.

john_aero

thanks for the replies, must be hard your son not comming aorund much, i dont have child yet but can only imagine how hard must be on you.


i know we all have past but for some reason her friends (who are single and like to laugh and joke) like to keep bringing up and pointing out all people she was with to me and worst they like point out people she may have met or been with in night club when she says hi or is talking to them.

i know most people just ignore this and are fine just can seem shake it off.

Silverfish

john_aero wrote: »

thanks for the replies, must be hard your son not comming aorund much, i dont have child yet but can only imagine how hard must be on you.


i know we all have past but for some reason her friends (who are single and like to laugh and joke) like to keep bringing up and pointing out all people she was with to me and worst they like point out people she may have met or been with in night club when she says hi or is talking to them.

i know most people just ignore this and are fine just can seem shake it off.

How are they doing this if she has broken contact with them?

john_aero

she has broken contact with thoes who like to post the old pics of her from before we met. the rest of her friends who are nice just like to laugh and joke about times gone by and always seem to like bringing up who my partner was with for the fun of it and she has asked them to stop. like few of them when drunk pointed out lads she used be with but then they were so drunk then next day they didnt even remember meeting me in the pub

RedXIV

you're refering to these as the "nice" ones which would presumably mean that you feel a little bit over sensitive here. Now i've said it here a few times that EVERYBODY suffers from jealousy, the difference is in the control you have over it. Not just the outward but inward control also. you seem to be pretty good at dealing with the outward part, but the inward part seems to be cutting you up.

Remember that every time they point out these people you can straight away say "I'm better than him" and the reason you can say that is your gf prefers you to him, thats why she's with you. Using this logic, every time someone points someone out, you can derive a little ego boost for yourself. And if you can reach a complete comfort with the situation, i'd bet that your girlfriend will notice and she'll stop worrying about it too. We're a nation of jokers in this country so don't be afraid to take the piss out of these "nice" guys too

Best of luck

Red

john_aero

hey thanks for that, ya try that and helps up to a point like everything else, but now and again it all just seems pile up, prob is though some of these lads still want to try and get a fling off her and she has to come back saying wow i lost another person she taught was a friend but only wanted 1 thing so hard for her aswell and know im keeping mine is as if she found out i was like this she would be gutted and feel its her fault