Thoughts of inferiority

Affable

I don't know whether it's general anxiety, but thoughts have been disturbing me, namely about my nationality. I love my country a lot but I feel that however much pride or talent there is there, what we do will always be belittled and will never mean much in the shadow of the USA. I interact witha lot of Americans on forums this may be some of it. But I have a horrible feeling the odds are stacked against me and my fellow country people, even they become distinguished they wont mean anything compared to the average Joe in the US. That there is a futility in what we try to uphold with their huge size and easy superiority. I've seen the same thing with Scotland vs England, and for me it's England vs USA.

I wanted to talk about the thoughts that have niggled me a lot in my life to see if such anxiety is normal.

Latchy

Military superiority is one thing but on a nationality level (assuming your irish ) i dont think you can compare a small country like ireland who's culture is so different, to a much larger populated country like America ,even with the connections both countrys have but it may be why so many irish/europen people desire amercican citizinship

Affable

latchyco wrote: »

Military superiority is one thing but on a nationality level (assuming your irish ) i dont think you can compare a small country like ireland who's culture is so different, to a much larger populated country like America ,even with the connections both countrys have

I'm English. Well British I mean.

Latchy

Affable wrote: »

I'm English. Well British I mean.

A friend of mine who spent a lot of time in america described them (americans) as ' the most fcuked up race of people on the planet ' but that's his opinion and he was only generalising .

Affable

latchyco wrote: »

A friend of mine who spent a lot of time in america described them (americans) as ' the most fcuked up race of people on the planet ' but that's his opinion and he was only generalising .

Oh I'm of that sentiment. My preferred place to be is Britain or Ireland.
But I just get these...niggling feelings of futility. Like nothing will matter if it's not done in the limelight or the US, or something. Hell maybe I'm just projecting this issue onto something else I dunno.

newestUser

Just stop watching the Olympics.

Latchy

Brits have done better in the Olympics than they have done for many years ,that's something to be proud of .The yanks are always going to top of that pile due to i think , Quantity of participants .

Affable

It's like I feel people don't get what they deserve despite their innate qualities. Like in relationships and the like, Americans carry more prestige and punch above their weight.

Wurly

OP, i'm not for one second being sarcastic but why does this bother you so much?

Can't you think of something more constructive to occupy your thoughts?

Where and how did this all start?

Again, i'm not being smart..

Affable

Tri wrote: »

OP, i'm not for one second being sarcastic but why does this bother you so much?

Can't you think of something more constructive to occupy your thoughts?

Where and how did this all start?

Again, i'm not being smart..

I know it sounds weird. Can't help it occupying my thoughts. Maybe I'm lucky its the biggest thing bothering me I dunno.
Guess it began more since coming into contact with more Americans online, at uni etc. I just feel torn really between loyalty to my country and a niggling feeling that it makes sense to go the US, even though I dont really like them much.

petethebrick

Em.. OP, are you a bit drunk perhaps because most of what you're writing seems to be a bit nonsensical rambling to be honest....what exactly are you hoping to hear? :rolleyes:

Latchy

Dont americans screw up their lives,relationships like everybody else ? Doesnt every race have it's + and _ ?

What difference would it make to your nation / nationality to go to a country were you say you dont like ' them ' .How would you be betraying your county . ?

There must be hundreds of thousends of brits in usa ,wouldnt you just be another one ?

Is a bit weird

bug

Affable wrote: »

It's like I feel people don't get what they deserve despite their innate qualities. Like in relationships and the like, Americans carry more prestige and punch above their weight.

It's all relative, and according to perspective.
Nationalism, is a sense of what you belong to, not how big you are.

I'm very proud to be Irish for example, when I see a crowd from Neilstown, giving uproar for a quality boxer with a quirky Dublin personality. I'm proud, because that's the typical Irish attitude. It only one medal in comparison to other "big countries" tally count, but its quality not quantity.

Nationality means more than power. Power is transferred. Nationality and nationalism always stays the same. I think you are confusing the two.

Affable

petethebrick wrote: »

Em.. OP, are you a bit drunk perhaps because most of what you're writing seems to be a bit nonsensical rambling to be honest....what exactly are you hoping to hear? :rolleyes:

Hoping to hear whether anyone has common experience, if it's normal, how to deal with it, whether it's projection and any other advice.
Tried to make sense but the anxiety is not easy to describe.

Wurly

Affable wrote: »

I know it sounds weird. Can't help it occupying my thoughts. Maybe I'm lucky its the biggest thing bothering me I dunno.
Guess it began more since coming into contact with more Americans online, at uni etc. I just feel torn really between loyalty to my country and a niggling feeling that it makes sense to go the US, even though I dont really like them much.

Okay OP. Lets say that I posted the above... What would you tell me to do?

You are British. Nothing will ever change that. Be proud of your heritage. 10,000 of these thoughts a day will not change the fact that you are British. Nor will they make you American. Accept your heritage and be proud of it. You don't have to be torn between anything.

Secondly, how could it possibly make sense to do something - even though you don't really wanna do it?? I sometimes get niggling feelings to rip my boss' head off - it doesn't mean it's such a good idea!!

Thirdly, maybe spend less time online and more time broadening your horizons. Meeting different nationalities, developing new interests. The busier you are, the less time you have to entertain these thoughts. If it is anxiety - well let me tell you something.... Anxiety thrives on an idle mind and escalates from there so keep busy.

Next, you CAN help what thoughts you entertain and what thoughts you don't. Everyone gets all sorts of mental thoughts in their heads throughout the day. Some thoughts are vital, some are interesting, some are practical and some - just complete nonsensical rubbish. You have got to start ignoring these thoughts before they are all you can think about. I think this is kind of what's happened to you here. Its coming across like a mini obsession of sorts. I personally tell my stupid thoughts to f*ck off. . Any thought that is not constructive to me, I try not to entertain. You need to use some discipline on your head here.

Lastly, I guarantee the only person who is obsessing about all of this is just you. Not the American's you're talking to. I bet not one of them have thought they are better than you, just cos they're American. And if they did, they're eejits.

Did this help at all? If not - if it were me, what advice would you have given me?

Latchy

Hey OP , . Another brit , David bowie was afraid of americans

Affable

Tri wrote: »

.. Anxiety thrives on an idle mind and escalates from there so keep busy.

Next, you CAN help what thoughts you entertain and what thoughts you don't. Everyone gets all sorts of mental thoughts in their heads throughout the day. Some thoughts are vital, some are interesting, some are practical and some - just complete nonsensical rubbish. You have got to start ignoring these thoughts before they are all you can think about. I think this is kind of what's happened to you here. Its coming across like a mini obsession of sorts. I personally tell my stupid thoughts to f*ck off. . Any thought that is not constructive to me, I try not to entertain. You need to use some discipline on your head here.

Lastly, I guarantee the only person who is obsessing about all of this is just you. Not the American's you're talking to. I bet not one of them have thought they are better than you, just cos they're American. And if they did, they're eejits.

Did this help at all? If not - if it were me, what advice would you have given me?

Yes, guess I should always keep occupied. It is part of my obsessiveness you are right. I guess I just think by having something others don't, ie wealth, nationality, you might not be better than them but it makes them think they are fighting against more psychologically and makes the person in question feel more assured. I guess I also worry about globalisation, immigration and all and our culture being eroded.
It did help. I don't know what I'd advise you.

Wurly

Affable wrote: »

Yes, guess I should always keep occupied. It is part of my obsessiveness you are right. I guess I just think by having something others don't, ie wealth, nationality, you might not be better than them but it makes them think they are fighting against more psychologically and makes the person in question feel more assured. I guess I also worry about globalisation, immigration and all and our culture being eroded.
It did help. I don't know what I'd advise you.

Possibly to stop worrying about things I can't control??

Say in an ideal world that immigration, globalisation etc were no longer problems. There would always be something to take their place. That is the way of the world. But WORRYING is the most USELESS emotion there is. It ties us up in knots and does absolutely nothing to change the outcome of the situation. Basically, it uses up our energy for nothing.

The busier you keep yourself as I said, the less time you will have to drive yourself mad with these thoughts.

Tell them to go away and when you find yourself indulging in these thoughts, tell yourself to stop. It's the only way. It won't go away overnight but it does work. I promise you that.

Also OP, there will ALWAYS be someone out there that has more than you. Worth mentioning that there will always be someone that has less too. Leave them to it. Concentrate on what you ALREADY have. What can you build on? What do you have to offer the world? Focus on that. Be grateful for what you have now. Thinking about what others have is a surefire way of making sure you are never happy. Do you want to be a bitter person?

You need head discipline OP. Time to take control of those bullsh*t thoughts. They will honestly do nothing for you. And indulging in them will in no way change the situation anyway.

Ask yourself - what's the point in thinking this way?

Affable

Tri wrote: »

Ask yourself - what's the point in thinking this way?

Thanks. I guess what I'm trying to figure out is do the thoughts have a rational basis, and if so should I attempt to get into the US , is it only to maximise what priviliges one has in life, if nationality is one of those priveliges?

Wurly

Affable wrote: »

Thanks. I guess what I'm trying to figure out is do the thoughts have a rational basis, and if so should I attempt to get into the US , is it only to maximise what priviliges one has in life, if nationality is one of those priveliges?

Well the question that you need to ask yourself then is - 'are my thoughts askew'??

To be honest, I would say that yes, they are.. Mentioning things like globalisation etc is a little more hardcore than say worrying about trying to find a job in the US for example. Do you see what i'm saying??

I think they are more anxiety based. And the more anxiety there is, the more 'peculiar' the thoughts are.

You have said that maybe you 'should' do something, even though the 'want' isn't there. Now why put yourself through that? How about doing something you actually want to do? Would that not be maximising your priviliges? You don't need to go to the US to do that....

Regardless, you seem unsure. So my advice would be to put going to the US out of your head for now... Tackle the anxiety and make that your priority. Once that's done, then you will have a better understanding of what would be beneficial for you and what you would like to do. But leave it go for now would be my advice.

Affable

Tri wrote: »

I think they are more anxiety based. And the more anxiety there is, the more 'peculiar' the thoughts are.

You have said that maybe you 'should' do something, even though the 'want' isn't there. Now why put yourself through that? How about doing something you actually want to do? Would that not be maximising your priviliges? You don't need to go to the US to do that....

Regardless, you seem unsure. So my advice would be to put going to the US out of your head for now... Tackle the anxiety and make that your priority. Once that's done, then you will have a better understanding of what would be beneficial for you and what you would like to do. But leave it go for now would be my advice.

Yes fair enough...maybe it's my mental state causing the peculiar thoughts.
Again, I do wonder if it makes sense to maximise all that one can feel superior about, but then I have my affection for home. I guess no-one can answer these complex questions so I'll just have to decide on a conclusion at some point. Thanks.

Wurly

Affable wrote: »

Yes fair enough...maybe it's my mental state causing the peculiar thoughts.
Again, I do wonder if it makes sense to maximise all that one can feel superior about, but then I have my affection for home. I guess no-one can answer these complex questions so I'll just have to decide on a conclusion at some point. Thanks.

I hope I have helped you somewhat. Basically your mind seems a mile a minute. Give yourself a break for a while. You don't have to make all of these decisions straight away. The only person putting pressure on you is you. So deep breaths and chill, ok? And keep an eye on those pesky thoughts. Best of luck.:)

Sprouts

Why would you think you are inferior being English not American? Nobody gets to pick their Nationality, you are dealt one hand of cards in life and you play the game. Work hard, don't treat anyone badly and it will all work out, whatever flag you salute.

jackbutler

i, for one, have never liked americans. its not a racism thing, i love their country, the cities, some of the people, but theres just some that i can't stand.

the ones that are racist because they think their country is invulnerable, who generalize and entire race of people that they've never encountered, and think its funny.

its the online generation, people feel safe because no one knows who they are, so they feel like they can say anything. Americans have exploited the power of the web ridiculously, but they have exploited almost everything they have encountered for years.

That said, i like a lot of american people, but the only ones i encounter are the ones that want to hate races, that say what they want to say because they're american and their beliefs are more important.

but isn't america on the way out as a superpower? we've all seen in the olympics the power of the Chinese people, hopefully america's reign of the world will end as swiftly as their arrogance arose.

Wibbs

OK no more social and or political comment about cultures. Take it to humanities or wherever. Stick to the topic at hand, which is the OP's anxiety.

roberta c

OP you say that you feel small compared to the average joe in America, but imagine being an ordinary person with no particular talents in such a huge population.. you have nothing unique really you just go about your life and die without anyone noticing.. you'll have a few relationships and thats the extent of your influence in the world. i imagine the inferiority thing would be way stronger as an American.. thats why you get teenagers over there so overwhelmed they go out and kill people for a bit of recognition, to matter in the world even if its for something terrible.

Monkey61

Op for God's sake do you actually have a single clue about your own history and culture? You obviously don't or you wouldn't be focusing your anxiety on such a ridiculous premise.

This inferiority complex has nothing to do with where you are from. As you have already posted on your suspicion of people that are cleverer than you - I think all these posts are significant of a wider problem. You have also mentioned coming from a "distinguished academic family" and having "enemies" - all of which seem contributory factors. lots of your previous posts in fact mention your extreme paranoia and over sensitivity. Your thoughts of inferiority directly relate to yourself, not to anybody else. The sooner you realise that it is you that has the problem, the sooner you can start sorting yourself out and working towards your own personal happiness.

If you can't be happy in yourself, than you will bring that with you wherever you go. Time to stop projecting and start examining your own shortcomings.

wylo

OP , just go to america ffs, you'll appreciate britain alot more when you come back. I used have that inferiority thing is as well regarding nationalities but to be honest I was in my early teens when I was thinking like that because i was watching too many movies. I think you may need to grow up a bit.

I agree with the poster that said the OP must be drunk, Ive never read such general ramblings on this forum as i have in this thread.

Affable

Monkey61 wrote: »

Op for God's sake do you actually have a single clue about your own history and culture? You obviously don't or you wouldn't be focusing your anxiety on such a ridiculous premise.

This inferiority complex has nothing to do with where you are from. As you have already posted on your suspicion of people that are cleverer than you - I think all these posts are significant of a wider problem. You have also mentioned coming from a "distinguished academic family" and having "enemies" - all of which seem contributory factors. lots of your previous posts in fact mention your extreme paranoia and over sensitivity. Your thoughts of inferiority directly relate to yourself, not to anybody else. The sooner you realise that it is you that has the problem, the sooner you can start sorting yourself out and working towards your own personal happiness.

If you can't be happy in yourself, than you will bring that with you wherever you go. Time to stop projecting and start examining your own shortcomings.

No I do respect my own culture a lot. The other stuff was another post, I see what you're saying but truly I don't think it's linked to that brief episode.

Trinity

I cant say i understand your question. However I do understand feeling inferior and i think you are setting yoursefl up for a rather large fall by your broad generalisation.

I feel inferior to the woman across the road as she owns her house, whereas i only rent.
I feel inferior to my sister as she is taller and better looking than me.
I felt inferior to my ex as he was a garda and i was just a civil servant.
I felt inferior to practically every other person I ever met as I am from Ballymun (bad area)
I feel inferior to half the people that post on these forums as they are far wittier and intelligent than me.

But I dont let any of the above stop me, i keep posting here dont i

Do you see where i am coming from, the list is endless. COmparing and wishing is a waste of time. You are who you are, and people are individuals. If you go to america you will see its not all power and industry and wealth. There are lowlifes, poverty stricken, uneducated people, slums. The world is a big place. And you are generalising way too much. The world is full of people, individual people. You need to stop looking at it the way you are.

There is always someone with more money, from a better area, with a better life but there is always someone a hell of a lot worse off.

I know this doesnt address the nationality issue but even with my inferiority complex, i have never once felt inferior for being Irish.

Your name is not william or harry is it? Just kidding

sinnerboy

Affable by name .. and by nature . Many years ago ( mid 80's) I left Ireland which at that time was a basket case ecomomically . To join the bustling then booming London economy . I remember standing oustside one of the stairways which leads down from the pavement to the tube station and experiecing an electrifying feeling . What vibrance , what energy , what a place to be . I felt like i was at the centre of the world . Dublin , ( at that time 20% unemployment ) seemed like a far flung backwater ... to me .

And .... at that time I felt , being Irish , inferior .

( No need for any patrioc backlash folks - I LOVE Dublin and being from there ... bear with me )

Affable , I met so many people like you - by that I mean good people . Friends for life . I lived in London for 10 great years . In that place I developed my career in that thriving ecomomy and I grew as a person . So many good memories but perhaps the most colourful - during the 90 and 94 world cups

Sydenham high street at teatime saw so many people blaring car horns and celebrating - when Ireland beat Romania in the penalty shoot out . If it was an England win i honestly don' belive teh reaction would have been any more pronounced . When Ireland and England drew in that campaign my local was split 50/50 Irish/English - feirce slagging , drinking , great craic , no hassle .

During USA 94 - sorry to remind you that England did not make that - London was Irish for 2 weeks . Tri colours all over the place . At work , on the buses and and tubes , in shops , on TV Radio - all 100% behind Ireland .

In my opinion the finest English qualities are tolerance , open mindednenes an inate sense of fairness and justice and compassion . In that society I quickly lost my feeling of inferiority , made freinds for life .

I hope in this society , the favour is returned to you .

Be kind to yourself .

Affable

sinnerboy wrote: »

Affable , I met so many people like you - by that I mean good people . Friends for life . I lived in London for 10 great years . In that place I developed my career in that thriving ecomomy and I grew as a person . So many good memories but perhaps the most colourful - during the 90 and 94 world cups

Sydenham high street at teatime saw so many people blaring car horns and celebrating - when Ireland beat Romania in the penalty shoot out . If it was an England win i honestly don' belive teh reaction would have been any more pronounced . When Ireland and England drew in that campaign my local was split 50/50 Irish/English - feirce slagging , drinking , great craic , no hassle .

During USA 94 - sorry to remind you that England did not make that - London was Irish for 2 weeks . Tri colours all over the place . At work , on the buses and and tubes , in shops , on TV Radio - all 100% behind Ireland .

In my opinion the finest English qualities are tolerance , open mindednenes an inate sense of fairness and justice and compassion . In that society I quickly lost my feeling of inferiority , made freinds for life .

I hope in this society , the favour is returned to you .

Be kind to yourself .

tbh I guess there are those qualities everywhere, maybe where I grew up just doesn't seem that great to me sometimes. But, glad your impression is favourable and you didn't find us obnoxious.

Affable

Tbh it's still really bothering me. An obseesive fear maybe but I fear our culture will be lost. I'm also finding it harder and harder to enjoy anything British, I have loved our culture but I can't now enjoy any of it without thinking that it doesn't work or that American sensibilities wil take over, I feel like I will succumb to them and take them to be right.

Maybe it started wen I talked to many classically righteous Americans who criticise and demean other countries.